Take a ghostly journey with me.

After work, waiting for the Ghost tour bus to pick me and my fellow ghost busting staff up, we partook on some liquid courage and greasy yum yum to get us through the next four hours. It's the only way to start such a night. Am I right?

Snippets of our conversations were about if we believed, what we believed, no spooking or I'll kick your eyeballs out of your face (that would come from my mouth), counting how many were nominated the skeptics of the group, and of course....hey bartender pour me another...you know the usual stuff?

We were chillaxing in our outside dining area and noticed the bus pull up early...like 2 drinks early (sacrilege, if you ask :) ! I go over to introduce my slightly inebriated self and make friends with our driver for the night. He's funnier than hell and when I ask if he wanted something to drink (soda or H20) while waiting for us lushies to, as we say here in Hawaii,....SUCK EM UP, he joked that he already took in a 6 pack before he got there.

Haha, your joking right?
Wait, your not?!? Um.
Um.
Um...
Oh..
got it...
you WERE joking!

I yell last call to the group and we tank what's left in our glasses and file like ants to an ant hole after a long day of carrying crumbs to its queen (or whoever gets the food?).

As I mentioned in the last post, we had our own bus so with all of us feeling groovy, we got introduced to the driver via his microphone, and drove to another area to meet the other half of the tour. We would be meeting our "tour" guides Uncle Joe and Robert. We are urged to go pee pee and we decide that would be wise. I know I wasn't gonna pull MY pants down in the dark! (you know, outside...not in my house, without my husband... :)

And then, the de-brief from Uncle Joe. He was a little intense and I was trying to get out of my cosmo-buzz and be focused. For fear of being yelled at for not taking it seriously. Or thinking I heard something like, throw this salt at any ghost if you see one.

Mr. Tourguide to the ghost, did you say to pelt this salt at the ghost if they appear?

...(yeah, I asked that and got a look...a dirty one...)

Back on the bus we head to the first of five places...

GHOST STOP #1Pali Lookout.

It's a pretty popular place for locals and tourists to visit. It's got a beautiful view overlooking one of our towns and is the location of a great battle, it was a large battle where many died and it's said at night, warriors roam the mountainside. (Dum, dum, dum...supposed to sound like that theatrical sound). I'm sure right as we were coming, the ghostly gang were sitting around, sharpening their spears, smoking a cig when their chief boss said...Back to work boys, the tour is here....

We are encouraged to use our cameras to see if we can catch Orbs (aka spirits). We were clicking our cameras in the dark like our life depended on it. Yah, I caught some orbs on my camera, yah when you zoom in on them, it could look like a face...but I don't understand science and how light zapped in the dark plays out on a camera. You tell me.

We stayed in the area for about 30 minutes and left for the next place...

GHOST STOP #2 Morgan's Corner.

It's pretty dark as you can see by the video (if you clicked on it:)...and some of us were stupidly inspired to grab branches and twigs and try to spook some of the "believers". Which didn't fare well with Uncle Joe and he soon put everyone back in respect mode.

Walking down a pretty long road, listening to the history...it was all interesting. Uncle Joe told us if we took photos to look for 2 orbs together and that might just be the two men responsible in 1940ish for murdering a woman, Theresa Wilder. Below you can catch two things. The woman with the leaves in her hand...(yah, she's with us) trying to spook the boss. And in the left hand side of the photo above the person's head are two orbs?!? You tell me?


I have to admit, our group was very large so I felt safe, too safe. And not scared. Like I wanted to be.

Being complete adolescents in high school, there were many a time 6 of us smashed into a small car and braved that dark road by ourselves...(THAT was ALOT scarier).

GHOST STOP #3 heiau...

Again, with the group so large, the scare factor wasn't there....BUT I grew up here and heiau's are very very sacred to the Hawaiians. You can hear Uncle Joe here talking about this site...

Back on the bus and onwards....

GHOST STOP #4 Manoa Chinese cemetery.

Children's graves were on one side, buried together so that their spirits can play with one another.

The part of this that was interesting was we were told about this tree that was supposedly a center for spirits coming and going...they called it the "PORTAL" We would all be given a chance to step inside and might feel the spirits coming or going....

I will say this though, the whole time we were being given the lowdown of the place, it was dead calm (no pun intended here) for it being 11:00 at night, in the back of a valley. We talked about the cemetery for a bit before we all went to have a go at the Portal.

As soon as we walked toward the Portal, the winds gushed like something fierce! Weeirddd.

We were told to stand with certain people inside, and told to close our eyes, and asked if we felt tingling in our hands, or a warmth coming over us, etc...

Part of me knew this couldn't be real, and some small part hoped that maybe my dad would "stop" by. You know, to say hey! Tell your sisters I said hello!

NOTHING :( oh well...

GHOST STOP # 5.

The Night Marchers at the Manoa Valley Park Trail. Not to far from the Cemetery. I'd been there in the day, but NEVER at night...that's like inviting a lunatic, wearing a bloody white shirt licking his knife like an ice cream cone, in your car.

It was dark, and some of us were a little scared...just because you don't know what's in the dark. I asked my other friend who grew up here like myself...

Me: "Don't they have wild pigs up here?"
HIM: "Yah"
Me: "I'm running if I hear a squeal"
stupid HIM: "Oink, oink..."
Pause
Me: "NOT funny"

A plane had flown overhead, giving a rumbling noise causing some uncertainty amongst us. Something crackled in the bushes to our left, making me completely paranoid and push past the old lady on the tour that was being helped by her 60 year old son (sorry he he nervous laughter), the winds kicked it up into high gear. And then....

It was over.

The Tour.

So, was it The Ring part10?

No.

But, I had a great time with a bunch of my staff, who I've affectionately named my second pair of kids along with my boss who's been nicknamed my work husband (I'm not sure who I argue with more? The real one or him.), AND learned a little more history of my native land I call home.

Thank you. This ride is over...now get the hell off! :)

I know, it's not the review..

I'm in the middle of writing how my :"spooky" evening went last night and want to make sure I don't half butt it...so in the meantime...please enjoy this funny video...



This could be me and my husband (or either of my sisters) if we chose to spook people in our afterlife.

Until tomorrow. I promise.

Dare we?

Later tonight, I planned an outing for my training staff and managers (20 of us)....

Wanna know what we are doing? Look at the Orbs Of Oahu Tour...

I don't know what's wrong with me. I scare easily, I'll probably be the FIRST to scream or rip someones shirt. I will repeat in my head "I am not scared, I am not scared, you are the ghostMAN! " with my eyes firmly shut. And I'm sorry but I if open my eyes and that chic from the Ring was up in my face....OMFG! I'd probably be the first to slip in her own poo, while choking on her puke....unless...that's happened to someone else??? Anyone? Takers on that?

I got us our own private Mini-bus. So I'm sure some of us will be up to some shenanigans...spooking each other, you know high school stuff acted out by my hardworking staff. I did mention I was OFF limits. We'll see! :) I'm not counting on it.

So wish me and my bowel movements luck! And I will post my review Tuesday :) If I'm still around....(insert evil ghostly laugh)

What? Someone actually likes me?....

I pondered all day at work, not knowing what to post for today.

I get home, and in my Moderate Comments box is this fab thing from one of my favorite blogs to read....holla at ya Shorty @ Securityville...(insert dance music...what, what... and whatever stupid dance hand move that goes with it).

I'm not gonna lie. She made me feel special. And now we are blogger bff's forever....(I was gonna tell you Shorty, but....:)

"You had me at Bubblewrap, Shorty!.... At bubblewrap! (sigh)"

Okay, so here it is. A pay it forward kind of award....

The Uber (synonym to Super) Amazing Blog Award is a blog award given to sites that:

~ inspire you ~ makes you smile and laugh ~ gives amazing information ~ is a great read ~ has an amazing design ~ and/or any other reasons you can think of that makes them uber amazing!

The rules of this award are:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 5 blogs that for you are Uber Amazing!
3. Let them know that they have received this Uber Amazing award by commenting on their blog.
4. Share the love and link to this post and to the person you received your award from.

I would like to pass this award to the following blogs...

It's Sherendipity
No Ordinary Rollercoaster
Bacon is My Enemy
Searching For Oz (she's the whole reason I started blogging)
w/love, Sincerely-Posh Mom's Diary

Thanks to all that read and comment. You help fuel the fire that has burned in me to want to express myself through writing. Just the fact that you comment and enjoy what stumbles from my brain, out my fingertips and onto this page, validates me on a level I never expected. A big sincere MAHALO...(thank you in hawaiian. Betcha didn't think you'd get a language lesson :)

This mama is beat...

Nothing long today.

Just that work was long. and weird.

In a nutshell...
...my work day started at 6:30 am

...a man farted in response to my question of needing a coffee refill.

...I spent 2 hours as a plumbers assistant fixing a pipe of my restaurant that busted open in my neighbors scuba shop. (THAT SUCKED!)

...a woman sucked down ONE alcoholic beverage in 2 seconds and got so drunk in the following 2 seconds, I thought I might have to call an ambulance, (in between scrubbing the walls of the scuba shop with what my pipes puked out. did I mention that SUCKED!), until she hiccuped herself awake and walked out to her husband.

...saw an old classmate that came in for lunch with her family (and I didn't look good. that's gonna be her first time seeing me in 16 years and I look like I'd been scrubbing walls...did I say that SUCKED yet?)

...shopping for dinner and only needing 3 items. 15 items later, I came home (Damn it, why can't I just stick to my list...ooo, cookies on sale...stick to the list, stick to the list....mmmm, chocolatey chocolate goodness on sale too...).

I'm home. Dinner was cooked, the kid was given her bath, the kitchen was cleaned and this blog has been written.

Folks, until tomorrow!

When it snows in hell...

Destination: Northstar, Lake Tahoe
Objective: To break every bone of spirit and humility in Ramblers body
Age: 28

I was inspired by Ben at No Ordinary Rollercoaster to write about MY experience on the slopes. (thanks buddy, for the regurgitation!)

About 17-20 of us congregated in the Tahoe area to do the "family" thing. Of that bunch, it would be my FIRST time in snow. I'm not gonna lie. I was excited.

We arrive at Reno airport and our small caravan of cars drive the hour to our temporary home for the week. I stared out the window on our drive like a kid waiting for Disneyland to appear.

There it is....OMG...there it is...SNOW!!!!!!

My husband asks me to peel my face off the glass.

Flash forward to our first day on the mountain.

It's "recommended" for the first timers to take a series of classes through the day for us newbies. So what if my class included a bunch of 10-12 year olds.

The first class was something like...

"Learn-to-put-your-snowboard-on-the-right-way" class.

No problem. I aced it. I got my good-to-go high five from my 16 year old instructor. Come back in an hour and you'll move on to the "learn-how-to-NOT-slide-down-the-hill-on-your-ass" session.

While I was waiting around (by myself cause remember it's my first time in snow, so the other people with me were skiing/snowboarding like olympic medalists), while one of my boy/man cousins who was on "break" said to come with him. On the "easy" hill.

I stared at it, and the ski lift and felt okay.

I mean, I passed my first class...so what's the big deal?

We stood in line for the lift. I'm not thinking until we get on and I ask him...

ME: "Soo, they turn the lift to super duper slow so you can get off right?"

HIM: "Yeah!." With mock sarcasm.

Panic set in, and in the next 45 seconds he tries to cram the lesson of how to get off the chair when we get to the top. In my frantic state, I recite what he tells me...push your butt toward the edge of the chair, turn in an angle, remember only one foot is in the board, when you get off....wait, what the hell did he say about when I get off...Fricken holy hell, what did he say? Think, think....

Now I want you to imagine this, cause it's exactly how it happened...

I tried to get off the damn chair with panic-ridden determination, I really did. My not strapped in foot didn't know what to do, so I tripped. Yup, tripped. And THEN, I tried to get up and SMACK. Right, the chair behind my chair, right in the head. So, I'm thinking this is what will happen until I clear the whole thing. I start to crawl like an army guy in boot camp doing that crawl in the rain through mud with your guns crawl....(back to me) dragging my foot and snowboard and cursing myself. And then, to add humiliation syrup to my bruised ego pancakes, the ski lift operator (who by the way must have been the twin of my 16 year old instructor), walks over and tells me he has SHUT the lift off until I can get out of the way.

HIM: Do you need help Maam?
ME: O, you shut this monstrosity of metal with seats off?
HIM: Uh, yeah (in that cocky high school tone)
ME: And I'm continuing to crawl like a moron?

Thanks.

Well, after an HOUR of me trying to get DOWN a 2 minute hill, I swear to HOLY God above that I will never go on this again.

Crap, and I've missed my second class.

Third class, and finally an employee of the mountain that is legal to drink is my last instructor for the day. We learn to snowboard down the really really small bump of snow we are learning on called a bunny hill aka the kiddy hill. (That might have helped going down the first time).

Toward the end of the class he tells us we are all going up the Hill of Death.

What girlfriend? (head snap) I don't think so!

After some coaxing and the fact that he was hot and he promised to go on the ski lift with me, I actually convinced myself it would be okay. I don't know what happened but I got on the chair and my foot (damn you, don't you know what to do in the snow?) did something and I was slipping off the chair. The hero hottie that my instructor was tried to save me and we both landed face down in the snow. 5 seconds. That's how long we were on the chair. We barely left the staging area. GEEZUS! And I just know at that moment my hero hottie was questioning his certainty in my ability to be normal.

He said to try again and my slight concussion of a brain said ok...I got on and your not going to believe it but when I got to the top I just threw myself off the chair and did a duck and roll thing. Why fight it? The lift operator wasn't sure to turn off the thing or not.

He did, just because I guess they are taught to recognize crazies on the mountains.

3 times in one day. From one person. Is that a record?

-The Rambler

p.s. Sorry so long (insert guilty cough)

Mental Nablopomo Block

Yes, they tell you it happens.

When you engross yourself into posting for 30 straight days it's like the creative juices are sucked from your fingertips and your brain recedes as far back as it possibly can (maybe I pooed it out?).

The attention span needs to be focused so at a moments brain fart of ingenious banter of letters put together can joyously spill on the page. Today, I've started 2 posts. When I say started, that's all. There is no middle or end.

I wrote a title and thought how I wanted to tackle the subject....and then my mind wandered....and then my dog barked at me to give him water...and then my daughter just learned to push her stool to the sink and I hear the water (lots of it) going...OH GoD....What?...Rightttt, my entry for today's blog???....I'll get to it later.

That was this morning. No motivation whatsoever to sit and write. I've read alot today, hoping for a kick in the brain to find something to write about. I did, but only great titles with no substance to attach.

So, while sitting at the drive thru for dinner (because I was also unmotivated to make a home-cooked meal) a dim bulb went on and I knew. Blog about the fact that you can't blog today. While eating a McTeri Burger in one hand and one eye on my daughter munching her grapes, apples and plain cheeseburger I typed.

Whew. It's over. I've done it. Please, my brain is begging me. Just stop now...:)

Memo in my box...

Memo:

To: Rambler
From: HR Exercise fairy in charge
RE: Um, really, you don't know why your getting this?
DATE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow?
-----------------------------------------

We at the Human Resources for Exercise Inc. have noticed your attendance to Exercise land has been...well zilch!

Yes, we received your email stating you were pregnant and that your toes resembled little pork sausages. (clearing our throats here Ma'am but that was 2 years ago.)

Yes, we understand as a new parent you prefer sleep. (Look, your not gonna get it back, so you need to face it. Stop whining about it!)

Yes, we received your other emails stating your frustration that running up and down your 2 level restaurant, moving kegs of beer, boxes of soda, and lifting trays of food does should count as your daily dose of exercise. (Look, I could say the same thing here as I type this memo out to you...it's hard work...my fingers need a break...ow, ow, ow, I'm tired...get my point? There needs to be more!)

As a result of this lack of physical activity that should produce weight loss we have decided to send you out our BEST motivational personal trainer. He's a little on the rough side, but hey we here at Exercise Inc. will never give up on improving the quality of your life. That is our commitment to you!

Here's a snippet of the program your new trainer may put you through...



For security measures our personal trainer likes all his recruits...I mean clients to have a safe word in case the training gets too intense. Yours from previous trainers have been..."MOTHEROFGOD" We didn't think that was one word, but you were extremely adamant that this word would come out as one.

We hope you enjoy this second chance at becoming the skinny you again...or some version of it.

Best wishes,

The HR Exercise Fairy in Charge

Yes...WE CAN.

I just wanted to share this from another blogger who got it from another blogger :) ...simply put

for us, for we, for you, for me - together.

30 posts? Can she do it?

So, I joined some of my blogging friends on their bandwagon called Nablopomo. Just like it says. 30 posts in 30 days. I missed November 1st but that's because I only read about it on November 2nd...I haven't stopped since. I'll "officially" stop my last post on Dec. 1. That will make it 30.

Simple things in my life have led me to making commitments and sticking to them. (I'll actually credit that to my daughter and the small start from my first Lil sis who I'll call FLS.)

Anyway, it started small for me. When I say small, please don't laugh. But I NEVER watched a TV show on a continuous basis. I randomly watched whatever. Not really committing to any one show. Unable to talk with others about what was on, did you see that haircut? Did you see who's he's doing now...I didn't have that water cooler moments discussing the latest and greatest popular shows. I was lost when trying to figure out the one liners that made it to the trendy way to talk for the season.

Well, my FLS got me hooked on Sex In the City. HOOKED. It went from there. I was like, hey there's something in staying "committed" to a show. Slowly, but surely I developed a relationship with the drama's and the comedy and mini series...it poured into my daily non television life...slowly...I paid attention and stayed with it. It meaning, LIFE.

Then, my daughter was born. It kicked into high gear. As a parent you can't make half-ass promises (even though some do), you can't decide today you won't feed them, or bathe them, or not for supporting their emotional and physical growth. You have to be all in. ALL the time! (Man, I love it, and her!) You become to grow as a person. I grew as a person.

And here I am today "committing" to posting 30 posts in 30 days, :) I believe I can...because I've committed to a lot of TV shows AND my daughter smells clean at least a couple hours a day from her bathe given daily. :) Thanks FLS! <3 U forever.

TTFN!

Vince Vaughn...he make a funny...

I can't help it. But I love Vince Vaughn's movies. His sense of sarcastic humor leaves me crying in laughter heaven. Seriously! So I posted his new movie trailer for you to enjoy. I died (not literally obviously) at the closing scene for the trailer.

Loan required...:)

I've jokingly, (but really meant seriously, sorta), spoke with my mother if she wanted to contribute to the "help-a-rambler-get-an-Iphone" cause.

My mother: Laughs, stops, laughs again
ME: No, Serious!
Mother: Laughs again
ME: No, REALLY, wanna help a daughter out? (wink wink)
Mother: Isn't there more inexpensive phones? Do you NEEEED this?

My mother, the ever practical lady! ((sigh))She's right. Yes, I am a sucker. Yes, I don't NEED it, I just WANT it. I'm 33, married with a kid...

....I should be bothering my husband! :)

to my husband...a non Rambler

Last night I came home, expecting to straighten up as I've grown accustomed to. An uphill battle that I felt would never been won. Funny, this coming from me.

When my husband and I first moved in together we had different "cleaning" habits. I was a slob and he was military clean. Over the years with many frustrating protests from the only "maid" this house really had, he went on strike. (I don't blame him!)

Now having a child, this put me into full mommy Oh MY God mode. I've become more aware of the dirty plates, the carpet needing vacuumed and the laundry that's not going to wash itself (if only!). YES mom, I get it now! (I imagine her smirking as she reads this entry)

I understand his frustration because it is now mine. He lifted his little strike last night and I envied his thorough art of cleaning. (Only this once). My body and mind went completely relaxed. I almost didn't know what to do. Almost. I enjoyed my shows that were recorded, while I was working, wished I had a beer, kicked back on the love seat, and this mommy thought happy thoughts for her husband who was passed out in our bed.

Wow, this house is CLEAN. And I didn't do it. :)

Thanks Hubby! I DO love you! And I DO understand!

Dear Dad,

I watched a show today Dad and thought of you. It was about a man that claims to be a medium for the people on the other side. He is the communicator to the living to help them be validated in their lives. He assists the "other side" by helping them help "this side" to move on and enjoy what's left on "this side". I've watched him before. I wonder. Would you'd come through if I ever was in that audience?

If your a believer, you'll grip onto his every word as he tries to translate the cryptic messages for deceased. If you believe, you'll cry when he hits the bulls eye with the key word that lets an audience member know they are the fortunate one to have their loved one waiting in line to get this "communicator" to pass on their message. If you believe, you think for a second was the message really for me? I mean I'm sitting on my couch with tissues watching a woman receive a message from her deceased father and I can't help but relate to her story.

Today, this man with the show said to his audience that sometimes you get a sign and maybe it's "them" saying hello...or maybe it's just what it is, a gentle breeze in the wind, or the bulb burnt out because it was time. One never knows.

You have a popular name, but I don't always hear it. And when I seem to miss you the most, this work truck passes by with your name as part of it's logo. I've turned down a wrong road and I always (from a different direction each time so I don't realize it) and the street I find myself on has your name for it's street sign. I laugh sometimes and whisper to myself "Hi dad!" when I'm on that street. I don't know how I get there, I just do.

I write this knowing I won't get a response. But it feels nice to write your name down today. Dad. Daddy. ((sigh))

I miss you Dad.

Love,
Your daughter~The Rambler

No Matter What...

Today is November 5, 2008. History has been made. I can tell my children and my grandchildren someday, way in the future (my daughters only 2), I, me, the Rambler, was a part of that process.

I've read some blogs tonight that I completely agree with. And that's writing about politics. It's slightly uncomfortable. For me, I tread lightly on the serious stuff and things I'm not 100% sure about. I was horrible in grasping Social Studies. My teacher probably labeled me "that" kid that just won't get it. I could never be apart of a political debate team because I can't begin to scratch the surface of politics. That said, please understand this blog is one of just a person who for the first time was involved in a process that really made her feel like an American, made her feel excited about the shift in change this country is going through.

My husband came home early so I could race to the polling place. I felt silly because I put some effort into what I was wearing and wanted to wear blue/red to show some color of the United States of America. I went through 3 outfits before I settled into what made me feel like I was a woman who was serious and on her way to vote. Nervous, I went to the wrong polling place. Confused, I didn't see my name and worried that I wouldn't be able to place my vote. Excited, when I was told by the super duper helper that gave me the go ahead to place my vote. NEXT DOOR at the OTHER polling place. Oops! Big smile, was handed the ballot with my super secret privacy sheet and told to go to any open poll booth, and when finished to stand in the other line to have my ballot go through THE machine. Stupid smile, I watched my ballot go through THE machine and saw the flag flash on the screen letting me know my ballot had been accepted and counted. It felt important. I felt important! Cheesy, I know, but I felt proud.

I almost felt a little emotional about it when I walked back to my car. I sat down and stared at my little stub you tear off your ballot and was like....Whoa.

No matter who won, history was going to be made. Either we would have our first black President or the first female Vice President. Knowing that, I can tell my daughter, confidently, she can shoot for the stars, the sky is NOT the limit!

~The Rambler!

Sharing the love from a Clever Blogger

I found this blog from what is called the Blog of Notes. Blogger.com reccommends sites. Anyway, I love this girl. She's funny, creative and a good read.

I especially LOVED this recent post of hers about the birth of her BFF's child. Please enjoy...

Clever Girl Goes Blog. A birth day.

Girls Night Out...and a special Muah for my G-pa

Today is a special day. I have only an hour left in it but I wanted to let the most loved man in my life know.....
Mr. B! Or Gpa when texting. I LOOOVVVEEE you as all your grandchildren do...(but you know who's your favorite. wink, wink!)

After work today, I was blessed to have a night out with the BFF. About a year ago, after some big changes at my job me and some of my girlfriends met up for margaritas and tacos. We had a blast (as we always do) and made a pact that once a month we'd get together. I'm pleased to say it's been about a year, and we've only missed one due to July being a very busy week for all of us. There's our standard three but tonight one was MIA due to a cold...(We missed you Miss D, but don't worry me and Miss A ate YOUR part of the food...the sacrifices we make, I tell you! :)

I felt a little guilty not coming home again after work but it's important for the brain to regain sanity once it's been in full haul ass mode for the past couple days.

2 cosmos, a crap ton (why is this considered a measurement?) of appetizers, a choc. covered strawberry and some french dessert later...I dropped off the BFF to attend to her "duties" as the engaged woman she is....(mmmm, so how did that turn out Miss A?)and drove home like a tired, haggard, but fully content woman.

TTFN~The Rambler

GRRRR...

I'm not going to write much.

It's been a long couple of days. The BIG boss was in town. That means some extra hours, a little more stress and a little LESS tolerance for certain things that just make you wanna crawl into bed, hold tightly with the most comforting doll, suck your thumb and rock yourself to sleep.

And count the knives flying over your dream fence in your sleep as you tell yourself...

"Go to your happy place, go to your happy place"

So folks, I leave you now to go to my happy place.

for my sweet beth...

I carry Your Heart with me-E.E. Cummings

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it (anywhere I go, you go my dear and whatever is done by me is your doing, my darling I fear)
I fear no fate (because you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which always grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
And this is the wonder thats' keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

I first found this when watching the movie "In her Shoes" with Cameron Diaz and Toni Collete. I am sending this one out to my niece because I need her to know how much she is loved. It's easier to understand the read if you see the last scene in the movie....which I have here for you to click and see for yourself...:)

All my love to my darling Beth.

Aunty Rambler...

Don't be shy...

Thank you to all that come and visit my ramblings! It really puts a smile on my heart to see my little hit counter go up more than 1 a week :)

I really encourage you to leave me a little hello, guess who? message if you like. If not, hey once again I really thank you ALL whoever you are for reading my thoughts typed out on computer! And for my fav. Mrs. Wong....God I love you for all the encouragement.

Muah, Muah! (that would be kiss, kiss for each cheek)

Forever Young...

Every once in a while you watch something that tickles your insides and puts a smile on your face. Maybe even a tear at a moment that pulls at your heartstrings. Hi, my name is Rambler and I'm a movieaholic. I unfortunately can sit for a long time and watch movie after movie after movie. (When I get a chance.)

Tonight, I came across THAT movie. Called Young @ Heart. It's such a great documentary (in my opinion). Its about a group of seniors (average age of 80) from Massachusetts in a chorus singing covers of songs from Coldplay, James Brown, Clash...just to name a few. The premise of the documentary follows the chorus group for seven weeks and shows them preparing for a show at the local concert hall. You don't normally expect people their age to like the songs chosen but when sung together and hearing the words from their mouth just takes on this new animal of life. Their music director, Bob Cilman, seems to me to be their 'extra' son/grandson in life. But that doesn't keep him from holding the punches though on his crew of retirees if they need correcting when learning a new song. As one senior said, "Bob chews on nails and spits them on us!" They truly all adore each other and I commend this group for not making the ends of their lives meaningless. They got spunk and a great sense of humor.

This song below was my favorite performance sung by a "retired" retiree that no longer sang with the group due to health reasons. He was to sing it as a duet with another former member, but he passed away a week before the performance. A night or two before the concert another one of it's existing members who was a big heart of the clan also passed away. They dedicated this song to those two members. Song is called "Fix You" by Coldplay.



You know, my family and I lightly joke how active my grandparents are. (I secretly joke because I'm jealous) But when seeing this documentary I feel glad for them that they choose to live and not live that cliche of old people just sitting in retiree homes waiting to die. They both still drive (my grandmother freaks us out, but nothing dangerous), cook big meals for their kids and grandkids, go to the Y and exercise (grandma always shows us the latest move), Line dance (my grandfather used to be the "DJ" for their performances put as since joined them onstage). You can't help but wholeheartedly love them.

The oldest member of Young @ Heart (92) said about the mind..."If you don't use it, you lose it". I can't think of better advice.

Here's looking at you kid! (wink)
The Rambler

What would you do?

A man and a TV crew are on your lawn. They knock on your door. You open it and they scream..."You've just won a million dollars! What are you gonna do?"

Me, poop in pants, on ground passed out!

Okay, okay. so tonight I brought this question up to some of my employees and some of the answers were interesting.

We all agreed that in this economy that 1 million dollars would not go THAT far, but we weren't complaining, we'd take the money. Some said the first thing they'd do is take a 6 week vacation and come back to work, others said buy a house (yah, in Hawaii, that million would go fast!), others pay bills, others said they'd invest it.

For a moment, I went to that fictional what if land and thought what WOULD I do? And so this is what my first 3 OH-MY-GOD-I-CANT-BELIEVE-I-JUST-WON-THIS-MUCH-MONEY spending would go towards....

1. Pay off my mothers debts! Lord knows I'm part of the reason why she has it.
2. Pay off my husbands and my debts.
3. Take a vacation to Disneyland with ALL my family on me! (man that would be so f-ing awesome! Being with the whole gang! At Disneyland!)

alright and than I thought of...

4. Take a paid vacation to Europe with my BFF's. IDK, I saw Sex and the City recently and maybe I wouldn't mind going to Mexico to that really awesome looking resort...but would be like Miranda and not into the food. IDK...

5. Put 100K away for my daughter. No touchy touch until she's 21. She can have 15% of it when she's 18 but the rest not until then.

6. Help my sis pay off her very affordable home in PA. If only homes were that cheap here in HI.

Well, it's not much of a post tonight but....

What would YOU do if you won a million dollars? Your top 3!

Air Kisses (each cheek cause that's how we fake millionaires roll),

Rambler

that scary word....cancer.

Today at work I met someone that shared with me that she had terminal breast cancer. It was random that she chose to elect me as her recipient of this news. I was ringing up her merchandise in the store and a simple question to her turned into a 15 minute conversation about how this could be her last trip out. She hadn't told her husband who was sitting on the first level of my 2 level restaurant. We were on the 2nd. She had been drinking. And I know what your thinking....but there was something about the whole thing that made me believe her.

She talked about her kids all older and on their own and how much she just loved her husband and they had been best friends for over 30 years...and how he'd been there the first time she'd gotten cancer and beat it. She was so proud of her kids and you could see how that shook her not knowing how much more time she had with them. Her plan was to finish her vacation and when she got home she'd tell her husband what the results had been. This was her time she said to let her husband enjoy this vacation with her. In case it was their last. She teared again. I had to look down and tell myself not to let that tear drop. Be strong for this woman, I begged myself.

I'm an emotional sucker for emotion. If there was a contest for the fastest human to shed a tear and have a quivering lip...you would see me as the grand Pubaa. I told her that I thought it was nice of her to give that gift of "normalcy" to her husband by letting him enjoy this time without that weight of worry. Even though I'm sure he will be angry at her for not letting HIM give HER the support that she needs with this. We finished up her transaction and I bagged up everything, asked her name and told her I would keep her in my thoughts and say a little prayer for her. She smiled and said not to take anything for granted and requested I not let on we had this conversation around her husband. I had briefly spoke with them earlier at their table and met her husband and he seemed like a real good guy. I couldn't face going back and looking at him thinking...it's not right I know something so intimate about this person that he doesn't know yet. But I understood why she did it. It might be something I would do.

I don't know, it was oddly strange but I'm glad I met her. I was dismayed a bit that she's right, you just never know what God may bring your way. You take the good with the bad. Sadly we've all known of someone either close to us or casually that has had some form of cancer. I lost my father to lung cancer when I was 17. I despised that word, feared it, hated it, cried many tears because of it. 16 years later, my doctor said that word to me a year after I had my daughter. That word brought me back to that time, but in the role of my father. It was quickly taken care of and that word is not something I need to worry about. (((sigh))). I hate that people have to go through this struggle.

Her name was Karry. And I'm glad I met her.

~The Rambler

Today is my Friday!

Well, it's my Friday. I still have work tonight and than I can enjoy the days off. I'm recovering from some cold that's zapped my energy. I almost feel like supermommy again so this weekend I'll accomplish some much needed domestic duties. They've been either shelved or swept under the couch until I could muster the strength or more like motivation.

But other than that, I plan on relaxing and enjoying time with my family and RELAXING...really! So it's all I have for today and I'll post more after all the cleaning....and RELAXING :)

~The Excited Rambler~

To MY BFF...on her Un-day....

Thank you for being the friend every girl needs watching her back!!....Muah!

A grateful Rambler with a friend

When did I get here?

artwork by Aurore Damant

Today I got another email that made me laugh. I've had numerous conversations with friends, family, and mainly myself about when in the world did I/we get to this age. I'm my mother already. I never expected it...so soon...or just never. IDK, the age of the times and this email made me laugh because I really have said some of it....so thank you to my friend Steve-o for the email.

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
With their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning
... Uphill... barefoot…
BOTH ways

Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
There was no way in hell I was going to lay
A bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it
And how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of
Thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
Childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you
Don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library and
Look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write
Somebody a letter, with a pen!
...Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to
Steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you
Were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,
Your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you
Just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video
Games with high-r esolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games
Like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroi ds'. Your guy was a little square! You
Actually had to use your Imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or
Screens, it was just one screen
Forever!

And you could never win. The game just kept getting
Harder and harder and
Faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was
On! You were screwed when it Came to channel surfing! You had to get off
Your ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and there was no
Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons
On Saturday Morning. Do you Hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK
For cartoons, you spoiled
Little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
Something up we had to use the stove .... Imagine that! & lt; /SPAN>
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids
Today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted
Five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd
(Send this to someone you'd like to make smile,
Whether they are under 30 or not.)

Love....The over 30 Rambler...

Dear Gyno-Monster,

I'm not a fan of going to anything medical, dental, visionary, whatever. I'm a big fat baby. And all my doctors know it! I almost feel bad for them when I come in because they might have to put a little more effort into getting us through our appointment. I said almost bad, so that means I'm not. My own fear gobbles up anything trying to come close to it. Its fierce, my fear, and it will not back down until we are done.

I'm not speaking for all woman in the world but I have to say my most unpleasant trip to any doctor has to be for our yearly routine pap smear check up. It only lasts minutes, the whole thing, but my fear makes me believe it last a whole lot longer. Like maybe 10 minutes! :)

I don't know if it's the paper dress they make you put on, and wrapping the biggest bounty paper towel around you because the paper dress has turned into a paper vest and you need the coverage. I'm naked, vulnerable, wondering how everything down "there" is looking. I mean, that's a pretty private spot and now I'm sitting on a chair/bed thing with my legs in stirrups and wide open for someone I see maybe once a year. My husband doesn't even get that kind of treatment. HA!

Anyway, I've had quite a few gyno's throughout my life.

There was the time when I was 18, passed out from cramps/that time of the month, and unknowingly was about to face my FIRST time. Those poor chumps. They had their hands full with that girl!

And there was this other time I had a visit with Dr. Long Nails....Do those come off when you examine me?

Moving on the my favorite of favorite doctors...the one that helped me birth my first child into the world! Dr. Special I will call her. I don't know but this lady is something. I appreciated her tolerance of my phobia with medical professionals. When your seeing this person at least once a month when pregnant and more frequently when closer to due date, you can't help but to either completely dread the person handling your privates (hence the Gyno-Monster reference)or to absolutely fall in STAR love with the person who will help you bring to fruition a pretty intense thing for your cervix, uterus, whatever! She was patient, kind, funny, and I could relate to her. She was close to my age, also had a child, seemed like she could be one of my gal pals on the outside, you know, THAT person. I was more relaxed when going in. Which translates to relaxed legs when in stirrups...and you ladies know what I'm talking about!

DR: Uh, could you just relax your legs a little?
YOU: Aren't they?
DR: Well, your butts not even touching the table?! If you relax a little then we can do this. (Smile from Dr. hoping it will happen soon)
YOU: OK, i just relaxed.....
DR: Alright, just relax your butt muscles (not sure if this is the right thing they say, but usually I have to relax those too!)
YOU: mmmm, okay.
DR: GREAT! Your just gonna feel a little pinch....
YOU: (Internal Scream) HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! that's a little pinch?

Of course the doctor only hears your quick short breathing and not the scream that sounds like your getting murdered.

Sadly my favorite OBGYN found a great job with another hospital that didn't take my medical and I was off to find another replacement. Her current replacement they put us with was OK. But I didn't get that "YOUR THE ONE" vibe from her. I've just found one and I'm thinking she's "THE ONE". Cross fingers, cross fingers.

Enough rambling for now....

Patient Rambler signing off.

For my mommy's out there...

A mommy from my mommy website shared this today and I thought it was funny...I'm sure my mother would get a laugh out of this! Enjoy!



Love Love~ a Rambling Mama!

Man with the Red Hair, you disappoint me!

Yesterday started relatively good. The no soda thing has given me better energy to get up in the mornings with the a little more zing and a pep in my step!

Me and the daughter got up, made her bed, brushed our teeth, changed clothes (and diaper), and decided to go out for breakfast where you go to "PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE..." and let her play in the Playground Playland whatever they call it thing. The moment the car comes into sight of her beloved playground she knows where we are going. You would think we won free gas for a year with her excitement! So we pull in, park, unstrap (mind you with a forceful "Muuoom" and eyes that say could I be any slower.) We go in and I wonder why the chairs are still on the table in the play area and say OMG, they're not open for it yet. What? They're always open, well except for that time they had a birthday party and it was only for them......

Back to the story...

Okay, so I stand by the exit door and strain my eyes to the sign on the play area door which seems 100 yards away and read "CLOSED UNTIL FRIDAY for maintenance" (today is Tuesday)..Crap!

Okay, so my cute little 2year old is waving at people like she's the Mayor of McDonalds and turns into Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde the second she realizes Mom is trying to backing out of the door with little colateral damage. She screams, she kicks, she pleads...How do you explain to a 2 year old that it's not open. Mommy will go to the other one....I promise, I promise.

I'm quickly thinking as I struggle to strap her in. Her face seems likes its oozing mucus from every orface due to her massive tantrum attack. I really couldn't blame her. I gave her all of 2 seconds to look at the playland and with no understanding, just left. As I start the car I know I just have to drive in a certain direction and I'll hit 3 other Mcdonalds. And I know 1 of them had the other playland.

Round 2!

We park, she's not sure whats going on but she recognizes the the symbol on the door and I can see her little brain working. When we walk into the door we are both happy. Yeah, playland. Okay our plan, eat breakfast, and than go crazy. We are standing in line, waiting to order, and she's like screw the food, I wanna play. I let her down and watch her try to find the door and all of a sudden something seems not right?

And yes, for some reason this Mcdonalds ALSO WAS CLOSED. No one could tell me except to say I don't know maam. Again, as I pull an even more upset little mini tsunami of tears away from the door to the 2nd closed playland teaser, I felt horrible. She begged like she was sorry if she made me upset. I try to comfort her and look at people and try to mouth the words Playground was closed. Ooo, was the looks on their face in either empathy and or relief I wasn't beating my kid in the car.

I strap her in, AGAIN, and go home defeated. Hell if I was gonna try another one and realized it wasn't meant to be. I vowed to take her to the tot lot by our house later.
On the drive home my poor kid clutched fiercely to her Goofy doll and fell asleep from the frustration of not being able to play. When I took her from her seat, she bolted straight up and yelled NOOO like she had forgotten that she was angry. When she realized we were home, she passed out again in my arms and decided to dream of it for the next two hours of a unexpected nap.

Mr. Man with the Red Hair, REALLY? Gimme a break?!?

You did not make me smile today!

:( ~a slightly irked Rambler. :(

Don't gooooo....(clearing throat) I mean Good LUCK & Best Wishes!

(insert long sigh), I can't do this. I'm getting to old for this stuff. I am a big girl now! Gosh Darn it! (insert long sigh again!)

My baby baby sister is leaving. (again). And it's a little harder this time because we've shared some things as adults that just make you closer.

She's witnessed my daughters birth (and videotaped it...yes, she's dedicated and I'm sure it was through the lens that made her tolerate it.)
She's the godmother of my daughter and they were both baptized together along with her younger cousin Kai Kai.
She was one of the main "sitters" for her when I went back to work for the first year of daughter's life.


I could go on and on and on...and that's why I'm so sad because she's been an important part of my new life as a mom. Since her new job at "unsaid" airline she's slowly weened herself of us but we all still lived together. We ate together, shopped together, and became super geek fans of "THE OFFICE"
I even waited to watch the premiere with her as our last time watching it...(WAHHHHHH!)

Okay, Okay. Baby sister, I want the best for you, love you more than you could ever understand and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming home when you did!

I'm not crying, I'm not crying.....

(sniff...sniff... loudly blowing nose...sniff) the Rambler...

not so lonely after all!!

Awe, you guys!

So, yesterday I had a mini almost lame-o meltdown. For some reason I was in complete denial that my un-birthday was to take place today or yesterday if you actually your needing me to be technical. My photo was the face next to the definition of master Grouch Monster. I sucked on coffee and had some chocolate and still felt BAH HUMBIRTHDAY... Don't want, need it, just go visit someone else!

Today, I woke up and I had 2 text's on my phone. One of course being my mother. (I'd feel hurt had it not been her), and the other from my BFF wishing me a Happy unbirthday day and hoping I felt better. I snicker to myself that'd be a big fat NO. I was insistent that I remain grumpy and be of the non sociable type.

The calls kept coming, and the emails a flowing. The happy bug was busy buzzing around my ears saying you will not kill me today Mrs. Birthday girl!

My sister came into the bedroom and handed me a really funny card (tear, she's leaving in a couple of days and I'm not ready emotionally). We laughed and went to breakfast with my daughter who is still to oblivious to realize what day it was (good, should have been that way, but NOOOOO, you all shoved it down my throat!)

More calls, and funny text messages....

My husband came home from work with some flowers and a card signed by him AND our daughter. First time he's done signing of our daughter and it brought the tear to the eye. (No, no it will not work)

My father in law sent a card with some very touching words and I couldn't finish reading it because I didn't want to bawl before I left for work.

I check my phone as I'm walking to my car and my super big boss from my corp. office sent me a birthday text...(wow, I rate? Sweet!)

okay, okay, so the grumpy pill is kinda wearing off, and I'm almost okay to walk into work.


I get there, my door's are closed and and open it to balloons with funny messages written on there AND a gift from my co-managers and my fav Starbucks ice tea!

My staff sang "that" song in our pre-shift meeting...All fricking right! I'm older, I get it!

Okay, all joking aside! It was extremely hard to not feel special and loved today! And for that I with my whole heart thank everyone for thinking of ME. It's more than you guys will know. ((Tear))

~A very teary eyed humble older Rambler

smile for the day

It's been a couple of days and I have alot to post, but haven't downloaded the photos to my computer!

I got an email from a friend today that had this photo that said in the right place at the right time with the right equipment. Those moments are priceless!

You win...O messy master of the universe!

I'm beat today. I have lost my will to keep up with my tornado of a daughter. I'm writing this after 4 hard hours of sleep. I left the house yesterday with this place relatively in tack...my brain went into serious crisis meltdown mode when I came home. I lost it when I saw

~the living room filled with some of her toys OUT of the basket its kept in. Random toy things in really random places

~The kitchen had more dirty plates

~Someone took my clothes out of the dryer, set to the side and neglected to realize the 4 jeans were still so damp so they developed a funky smell instead of dried in a natural unfunky way...(like it could but wishful thinking)

~bedroom which was so clean yesterday when I left was soooo dirty this morning.

~My give away clothes for Goodwill in different parts of the house.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You win! Uncle, Uncle (isn't that what you yell when your getting your hands broken in that game :) or is it MERCY.

Universe 100,000,000. Me 0.

Look, I'm not naive to the fact that I have a child and this house cannot be clean longer than 15 minutes. But don't we all have a reset button so that when a tired mommy comes home from a long shift at work at 1:30 am she won't have a mini meltdown?

So hence my picture. It's actually how I look minus the coffee. Don't worry, me and the daughter are off for breakfast and leaving this place. My hand shall hold a cup soon.

((((SIGH))))