Wiping my dusty screen off and spray canning the keyboard with that crazy cold air stuff ....

The last two weeks, I've been toying back and forth with starting, restart, re-restarting blogging again.  (Really Rambler, we are going HERE again?)   The keyboard and screen are beckoning me in an intense way.  And annoying.... like your little sister saying...."I'm not touching you, but I'm touching you with my mind"...OK, maybe blogging isn't that annoying.  And I say annoying because until I post something, I keep nagging myself.

My answer to all of that is simple.

I love writing.

I love telling stories in my Rambler way.

And I miss it. 

Sadly, sometimes we all don't have the time to pursue the things we love.  To cultivate it and maintain it.  We just put it in the back corner of our mind and retrieve it when we can reach our virtual hands back there.

I thought to myself, what should be a first post after months of nothing? I'm a funny gal, and you that have read me know I"m good for a laugh.

And then I thought, eh, I'll be a little patriotic and make this a "PROUD TO BE AMERICAN" post.  And I will quickly share with you a moment I had at work.

I work a lot.  Like a lot that my family or friends wonder if I moved out of the country.  The restaurant I work for is one of the busiest on the island.  So having said this, the people at my job have become my pseudo family.

Our BIG BOSS was in town to check on his Hawaiian location.  He's been running restaurants in the US for about 15 years, while making visits back home to England to visit his mum (giggle, imagine Rambler with an English accent).

He finally took his US Citizenship test and became an official bonafide United States of America citizen.   So to honor that we surprised him with a cake and about 25 employees on a back loading dock, we celebrated and impromptu-ly (is that even a word??) did the Pledge of Allegiance.

I hadn't done that since being a young kid in Elementary school.

I'm not gonna lie.

It was the coolest most American thing I'd done, with my staff of varying ages, that moment, reciting OUR Pledge of Allegiance to the United States of America. 

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty, and justice for all.

So with that Bloggy land....Happy Fourth of July.

Let's see how we can scare the crap out of Rambler.

Oh, the tale I will tell you....A tale about a tail.

Maybe a week ago, while having dinner with the 4 year old Lil Rambler, our fearless 17 pound Tibetan Spaniel Mr. Bow Wow (name changed to protect his innocence) growled ferociously at our air conditioner located in our dining room area.

As I took a leisurely gander I caught a sight of a tail that made my armpits immediately sweat and Nascar Speed'ed it to the "Holy Sheesh balls....WHAT?THE?HELL?" Lane.

First....Daddy Rambler was NOT home.

Second....Did I mention Daddy Rambler was NOT home?

Third...How in the world did the Lizards that live in the bushes down below make it's way upstairs and inside?  (Boy wishful thinking)

Daddy Rambler makes it home at some point, and the two female folk of the Rambler household tell him in excited elevated tones from the safety of the bedroom (because of course we moved to another area of the house...for Lil Ramblers protection) something with a long tail was seen.

After some consideration Daddy Rambler stated with manly confidence it HAS to be a lizard.  And maybe it was going OUT.  Not coming IN.

He seemed fine with his answer until putting away our pots and pans under the oven and heard a rattle and saw a tail.  Now our seemingly not so worried about lizard turned into a bigger lizard with issues.  So I pretty much imagined a wild iguana roaming in between our walls.  (MASSIVE SHUDDER) because I don't know how to remain calm when it comes to animals.  They are my kryptonite.

Again, only the tail was seen and we convinced ourselves it was the mother of all lizards from downstairs and how do we get rid of it.  So while not entering my kitchen for several days due to the fact I was sure it would jump on my face and eat it, we contemplated.  

Yeah....well flash forward to yester-friggin-day.  My husband opened the dishwasher and saw a tail (AGAIN) disappear and water from the dishwasher starting to spill all over the place.

A hole through the wall behind the dishwasher and into the piping of the dishwasher confirmed our 'lizard' was no lizard.  It was hairy-er than a lizard.  It was maybe a rat/mouse.    (pray it's a mouse, pray it's a mouse, pray it's a mouse.  Sign of the cross....pray it's a mouse, pray it's a mouse).

Good Daddy Rambler did all the moving and cleaning and gagging of what was found when he pulled the dish machine out from it's place.  All he asked from me, when I got home late from work, was to place the traps because...well because it was better to lay them later than sooner??  (REALLY?  when we put the traps down earlier it might ruin the effect of the trap?)

So, I get home.

I tell myself if there was no Daddy Rambler in my life I would have to do all of this by myself.  So I pep talked myself, I laid the trap and waited for something like this to jump out.

 Cause if you know me....you know how active my imagination is. It would never be cute and talk or cook like this one...

So friends.  We lay the trap.  We repair our dishwasher.  We wait.

"Um, honey....could you pleasssseeee get me a drink of water...yeah, in my pink cup....yeah, with a straw...I'll be right here in the bedroom at YOUR computer."

Erm, I'm a big fat liar

Argh. I can't help it.

I keep saying I'm "coming back" and then months go by and all you find in my bloggy space is cobwebs and rickety cupboards.

May. That is the LAST time I was here.

And it's now friggin October.

Le Sigh.

Any that are left....how are you people? (Mammatalk...you totally prompted me to come on. One of the first blogs I really really got into.)

Me?

The new job has taken over any quality of life I had a grasp on and stomped and spit on it.

Le Sigh Deux. (Is that even french...deux, does that even mean 2...Eh, whatever)

I may have been gone, but MAN did I experience SO MANY blog moments that I wanted to share. It's fitting I share something that is truly Rambler style.

I embarrass MYSELF for other peoples pleasure. So those who will gasp in disbelief when they see my name in their recent blog posts lists....here is what I'll leave for you.

(God help me for sharing this story today)

So it's time for my annual you know what? (said in a hushed whisper....the woman thing...the pap smear thing...yeah, THAT.)

It's a new Doctor. I've never met her and I want to make a good impression.

We go through everything I may have concerns about. I talk like I've never had a friend before, and spill my 4 hour movie long life story.

And then it's time to do the thing. I scoot my tosh to the edge. She says relax, I snicker inside and say "Sure, Aren't I?"

I start up the sequel to my first movie and don't hear her correctly when she says..

"Are you ready, I'm going to.......(halfway through some fantasy about being rich and never having to work again apparently is what was on my mind)....Ok?"

"Yah, Yah, Yah...I'm good"

WHOAAAAAA......

Apparently the missing part I agreed to was just her warning that she needed to check (with her finger, mind you) the number 2 area. The poop shoot. The exit only zone for husband.

What the what?

I clenched so hard because I almost....

(wait for it)

(promise...it's so Rambler)

FARTED.

from surprise.

When she said relax I just shook my head. For fear that if I spoke....I'd be 'too relaxed' if you know what I mean.

And then screamed at myself "Oh lord, even though she's scraped the inside of your whoo-ha, please don't embarrass yourself by farting in front of this nice woman doctor. Not on your first date visit."

And no!

Like a woman I held it in.

....Until I got to my car half an hour later.

Geesus, what kind of lady do you think I am?

True friggin story.

Le Sigh...Trois. (I looked it up that time...that's THREE in french )

Awesome right? (said so sarcastically)

To blog or not to blog...that is MY question.

Yes...I'm here.

And life has changed. In a positive way.

About 2 posts ago, I went to work and my boss told me that we would be closing our restaurant down and had to prepare to tell our staff.

For about a week after, I digested the fact that I would be part of the unemployed world. My mind replayed so many blogs I had read over the years and reading the frustration, and some heartache. I wasn't sure what or where I was going to go. I'd been working since I was 16 years old.

But the opportunities that lay ahead without guilt of having 'jumped ship' wouldn't be sitting hard on my shoulders. BFF and family members that were aware of my near jobless future sent me links to this or that, and I didn't feel so heavy.

And then...an old friend/co-worker/boss person said he wanted me over at his place. We discussed when I would be done with my current job and his approval for a couple of weeks before I started with him (and more money) sealed the deal.

Whew, I had found a job before I lost my job. I was blessed.

So I've been 'jobless' the last 3 weeks. I found myself staring at this blog saying...LOOK at all the time you have Rambler....you could blog EVERYDAY if you wanted.

But I didn't.

I don't want to joke about losing my mojo...but I feel like I've lost my passion for my good ol blog.

Do I discontinue my blog?

Do I dare type the words "It's been great"....?

I don't know.

But I like everything about this blog. That it allowed me to be more confident in myself. To get a small readership of fantastic people. That was beyond anything I thought when starting this blog to share with my family what originally was just about what coffee I got at Starbucks that day, or how crappy my work day was.

So maybe....maybe....I'll just stay. Not because I'm obligated. (Cause, come on, it's MY blog and I can whine if I want to.)

But maybe because I just need to find the passion again to write. And maybe that passion will be reignited with the new job.

Thanks for hanging in there friends.

I'm sneaking in for a second

Oh you guys....I have so much to say, and no time to sit and let it all out.

I promise in a week or two I will be back.

Life has changed.

In a good way.

But it's changed, and time is such a valuable commodity for me right now.

Just wanted to let you know I'll be back.

Soon.

D'oh.

I'm horrible sometimes.

I remember faces like nobodies business.

But ask me their name...and my eyes glaze over. I smile and and have a standing rule with friends and husband that if I do NOT introduce someone it means I forgot their name.

Usually my BFF gets it and runs interference and does the whole..."She's so rude, I'm BFF, you are...".

I pray they answer faster than me having to do that "Oh...BFF this is......(draw blank)....(Oh crap...awkward pause)....haha, no silly I totally remember your name....(holy farking crap)

Wavy fingers to bring you to Lil Ramblers preschool.

There are way too many kids. With a lot of names to try to place. By the time a name is said the face has left because the big people are totally boring.

The first week, I called one of her friends by anothers name. NEVER corrected me.

A month later, the teacher corrected me. (embarrassing)

I later called the right little girl the right little name. (Right?)

Oh no. That's not how I apparently roll.

Morning ritual is to wash hands before they go into class. Me and Lil Rambler pair up with her little friend and her mommy and I say with utter confidence and energy

"Good Morning Lil Wrong Name!!"

Mother of Wrong Name girl says..."Oh...haha, um her name is (totally something you've never said since Lil Rambler started school but has seen since day one)"

HELLLOOOOOO Rambler. For the love. This mother has said Lil Ramblers name since Day two. I'm on like Day 150 and I suck.

That's right. D'OH.

Anyone else?

I know...where the hell have I been?

Or did you even notice? (smirk)

One thing leads to another and before you know it, I get a text from my BFF that said..."OMG, you haven't blogged for a month...you must be really busy"

Mmmmm....yeah. Alright, I've been really busy? (scratching head...deciding on this for my answer).

It really started with my father in law visiting and practically took my laptop as if it was his Hawaiian mistress.

If we all were at home, he and my laptop were inseparable. Plus, I was the entertainer/arranger of things to do/the buffer for all to get along....so trying to step away in to private mode was out of the question. And by the time my father in law was wiped out by my daughter in law-ee ways, I could barely wipe my own butt.

Flash forward a month later...

And...I have to tell you...having this blog has paid off in more ways than I could have ever thought. I really made some 'friends' that get another side of me. Have given advice, pumped me up, told me my writing skills are actually worth coming back for...you get it.

Well, fate stepped in one day when I had to choose between getting my contact lenses or eyeglasses. Well, my old self said...duh, get the contacts, maybe you can upgrade your grandma glasses later on in the year.

Later that same day, someone actually emailed ME, The Rambler, to review THEM (GlassesUSA.com). You say what? Me? No friggin way.

So...I said what the hell...I'll get some prescription eyeglasses and see what happens. I poked around the site which yes, was user friendly and since it had been a while, was surprised to see the prices were extremely more affordable than my own doctors office. (shhhh...I heart him so...our little secret). Sigh...but the true test is when I get them in my hands and onto my face.

I gotta tell you...I didn't expect what happened. I've had them for almost 2 months and barely take them off. The eyeglass frames I chose apparently really 'complimented' my face. Because I looked 'smarter', 'intelligent-er', 'sassy sexy school teacherish' , 'beautifulrific' from strangers, female friends and my younger male staff (eh, my 34 year old self felt a little cougarish with my 21 something year old making comments...wait what makes you a cougar? How old do I have to be?). I believe I even inspired a girl to buy fake glasses to see if it made her more tips at her tables. (It does, surprisingly)

So go over there...if you need glasses but don't want to break the bank. Glassesusa.com. I might have a 5% coupon code for you if you like...(Mommy5).

Okay so to recap my return after a long long time away...cause you all know 1 day equals 1 week. So 29 days is almost a half a year right?...(get back on point Rambler)...you learned that my father in law took my laptop mistress hostage and I look farking sexy in my new eyes. (Smirk, but sexy...)