Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Karma paid my husband a visit...

So, I'm not entirely gloating here or feeling like someone in the universe gave me a little justice.


My husband was being a tad douchie the other night. Being a good wife and Samaritan I decided to ignore his douchieness!

When he had a tantrum that matched our three year old, he went into the room while my angelic ways continued in the living room.

I heard a thud and a not so nice word coming from my bedroom door.

When I went to investigate I realized he had sat on his computer chair to hard.

(Buwhahahahaha...see what happens when your evil to your wife?)

Karma comes a knocking.

High Five Karma Fairy, High.Five.


For the record, I don't ever wish ill harm to my husband. I closed the door and snickered without him seeing! What kind of wife do you take me for?


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

What a weekend, what a weekend.

Where do I start?

Between getting a call from one of my musicians singing happy birthday over the phone and another serenading me in the middle of my bar, your bloggy birthday wishes, my personal facebook birthday love, and all my family and friends...I most definitely felt loved that day. So as we say here in Hawaii...Mahalo Nui Loa.

It was quite a weekend and I promised you that this next post would be about....

"What happens when Rambler throws a Sex and The City Party?"

Well.....holy whoa is all I have to say.

I decided to host a party for most of my female staffers after hours in our bar for camaraderie's sake and to just mix, mingle and hang out with each other.

Our original premise was to gather and have a movie night (Sex and The City).

And somehow it came along with an innocent presentation from an old employee showing us the latest and greatest toys. Of the sexual nature. (blush) They are called Passion Parties.

Again, I assumed innocence and that it couldn't be too wild. Right?

Imagine 25 of my girl employees, 2 Cosmo Martini Towers that held 5o+ martinis (cause it's what the girls in Sex and the City would drink...duh), a naughty cake that would make a porn star ecstatic and a leopard clothed 'pleasure/treasure' chest filled with lotions, creams and 'other goodies'.

Um.... all I can really say is a LOT of giggling went on, silly games that made us laugh even more and a feel and touch of certain products to 'understand' it's purpose (more drunken nervous giggling) and being given names that were 'dirty' that started with the first initial of our name. Oh my.

Some things you might have heard had you been in attendance....

"You put that where?"

"Ohhhhh, febreeze for vajayjays"

"Erm, um, his what goes THERE?"

"Ohhh, it does tingle."

"Girls (said scoldingly) that is NOT lotion for your arms!" (Sex consultant to slightly inebriated Rambler and fellow staff member thinking the febreeze vajayjay lotion was a body lotion)

Yeah. it was a really interesting weekend :)

I do wish I could share photos...but the fear my grandmother will ever see this blog frightens me. (tee hee) Although, she and my aunt baked me pee pee cookies for my bridal shower. (shoulder shrug)

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Another Year, Another Day....A sweet message from above?

Yesterday was a really GREAT day. So great it's been a while I think since I felt so great.

This song has been playing on my IPOD so I thought I'd share with you while you read this oldie but a goodie I say.

Back to story...

My mother had called to see if me and the kid could take her on for an emergency tooth repair on her lunch break. Of course with all she does, I said we would be there. The tricky part of getting her is that traffic is so all over the place that my drive to her could be either 10 minutes or 30 minutes. (On the really bad hour..blahhhh).

The kid and I went for our usual coffee and bagel at our favorite "Cocoa" Place/Starbucks. Enjoying the time with each other made me proud to be her mama.

When the coffee was drank, and the bagels eaten we set off to pick up Nana Rambler.

The traffic had cut me a break and I arrived to my mothers office building with 15 minutes to spare so I decided to stop by my fathers grave to visit and say a quick hello.

My daughter who's three got out and we said hello...and I don't know why but I asked her to sit by his tombstone so I could get a quick pic on my Boyphone with her and her Papa H.

As soon as I had clicked the photo a pure YELLOW butterfly fluttered right past us and hung around.

I love YELLOW. My father apparently loved YELLOW. That color has been the physical reminder as my father at my graduation and wedding thanks to friends and family members.

In the 16 years I've been visiting his grave I've never seen a butterfly, let alone a yellow butterfly...let alone a PURE yellow.

I strangely felt it was him and little tears sprung to my eyes and I had to catch my breath from the surprise of it. Was I reaching to far to think that it was a sign from him?

I sent that picture off to my two sisters and shared the story. That maybe Dad had paid a visit in his way.


Adding to this was that my favorite CCBFF (crackity crack BFF)/cousins wife from California is coming back to help me with the kid while my husband travels to Connecticut for work. After frantic calling around to arrange sitters for her dogs (my cousin is a fireman so he's gone many days in a row at a time), she secured her ticket back to sun, sand and a three year old that will be her little shadow.

******** is my birthday. And I felt really loved with a lot of early well wishes. I tell you this not in an arrogant sort of way but in a "Gee, maybe I'm an ok gal after all" kind of way. Like a little shocked that people think of me at all way.

I bid you all adieu.

Tune in for my next post....

"What happens when Rambler throws a Sex and the City Party?"

(I swear I haven't promised porn people I would say the word sex a trillion times in my post)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Long Absence makes the blogheart fonder....tales of sex shops, bridal parties, and other misc. things

Did I get you at sex shop?

Did you just go back to read my title?

I know...where the hell I been right?


You've missed me a bit?


I realize it's been over 3 whole weeks since I've posted last...that's like 3 years in blogtime I think. Where do I start?

Maybe...the sex shop?

Yeah. Alright. You twist my arm, I talk. (Rambler stretching arm toward you)


I'm not a frequent goer to the sex shop. I blush every time I pass one. I pretend I don't know about things like dildo's and blow up dolls.

So when BFF's bridal party sleepover came up, it was time to suck it up (my courage, you dirty's) and put on the sexy no grandma style panties and drag my Crackity Crack Family BFF with me. She vacations in Hawaii from California and I tell her she must go with me.

Our husbands watch the kids....and we go. At nighttime....since for some reason it seems more seedy and appropriate to walk into a sex shop for bachlorette toys and games. I debated wearing a sign that said that.

We drive there, and I'm giggling. Me and the CCFBFF talk about the crazy things they sell in there. (NOT that we would KNOW things like that). I told her the last time I walked in about 2 years ago for a past bridal shower I threw, the cashier screamed a welcome as I entered so others would look at the new 'arrival'. (FOR.THE.LOVE.)

I was alone. It was intimidating looking at boobies, and va jay jays and ding dongs because they can't help but jump at you as you make your way to the bacholerette section in the FAR rear of the store.

Going with someone is soooo much better. More giggling....more snickers...and wonder of how something so ahem, cough, ...big...could be comfortable. Let alone pleasurable.

Anywhoodle. Complete with dirty charade games and stick the slong on the hot macho man poster and candies with naughty words on it, we were outta there. (THANK.GOD.)

But not without scaring a couple with our conversation walking back to the car that included words like "What do they do to the plastic sheep?"..."Anal beads??" "Double headed??? What does that mean?"

Ahhhh, it's all about the good times in life...RIGHT?

My family was visiting in town and somehow I channeled my inner Martha Stewart and got more domesticated than I ever have.

It's great hosting family. No, for real. I had a good time doing it.

We tourist'ed around Oahu, put my diet on a serious scare due to excessive junk food eating, and let the sun bake my profoundly white skin back to a normal Hawaiian skinned color.


So the bridal shower was great. Some of her besties got together. We had such grand plans of streaking through the 5 star hotel after dinner, jumping in the pool, or checking out the lagoons. Drinking like when we were 19.

But we weren't 19.

We had a fantastic dinner at a restaurant down the road, drank good wine, ate amazing food and closed the restaurant down. (I know Hip Hop Hippie...I know...baddddd Rambler)

And the hotel shuttle that was supposed to be there due to this answer when I asked the driver how long the shuttle ran.

"Every half hour"

Apparently that was NOT correct. So we walked it back....which was totally fine. So 5 drunk girls walk around 11ish back to the hotel.

We got back to the room and we slowly realized we couldn't hang like the old times.

The bride passed out first, and then before I knew it I was snoring like a banshee.


So maybe I'll stop here... I'm slowly making it back into reading everyone's blog soon.

And I'm wishing my first lil sis Antibloggedy luck and support today. She's making a hellavu decision today.

Until later folks.