Think About it Thursdays #26...Your life on the big screen

Yes. We took a little break. But it's OK. We, meaning me and Think About It, are back to ask YOU what you think.

Thank you to those that really LET IT OUT about who bugged them...

Saskia said...

This question is easy-peasy to answer.

MY BOSS.

Urgh he is the most horrid man IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

~ He has the biggest beer gut
~ And an egg shaped head
~ He is red
~ He bought his wife from a website in Thailand specialising in pretty young wives for rich red old men
~ He has "enemies" by his own admission
~ He knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING and is NEVER WRONG of course, by his own admission (and no one else's)

And yesterday he told me off for using a paperclip instead of a stapler!!!!!!!

AAHHHHHHHH.

And breathe.

I'm looking for a new job. Looking really, really hard.

Saskia x

Oh Saskia...you made me feel your pain. 'And breathe' was my favorite part.

Tooj said...

The fast guy in traffic.
The slow guy in traffic.
My stepson's mother.
My stepson's grandmother.
Sometimes my husband.
Sometimes my children.
Sometimes my siblings.
Sometimes my parents.
The KKK.
The Neo Nazis.
Lindsay Lohan.
Perez Hilton.
The Real World cast.
The Bachelorette casting directors.
Punk a$$ kids today.

Did you want to know why?

This was my favorite comment that day!!

**************
On to this weeks question....

"If your life story were told on the big screen what would the title be and who would you want to star as you?"

Don't hold back...:)

Me and Time Out...are like this!

Just added my post to Cammie's Kids Say What Carnival.

In this house...I use my husband as the threat to get my kid that turns into some out of control 28 pounds of madness to "cool it".

In this house...The Rambler is usually on the brink of tiredness from the paying job and the non paying job (parenting) that it seems my child knows how to 'work me' over.

In this house...my husband usually wears the pants of discipline.

In this house...Lil Rambler comes to me for comforting.

But something happened the other day that tilted our normal Rambler world. That shifted my husband's cosmic hold on Lil Ramblers way of disciplinary life.

Me and Lil Rambler (yah, yah...I should of said Lil Rambler and I...) had a timeout. And I thought for sure she would be the victor of the 'game'.

But I was persistent. I kept plopping back the angry little imp in her timeout seat.

The TV went off.

Toys were taken out of her reach.

Her juice was put in the refrigerator...(her one chance of trying to escape).

And we had ourselves a standoff.

Evil stares were thrown my way. I did not waver.

Runny nose was snotted my way. I did not falter.

I asked of her one thing. To say she was sorry. And I asked nicely.

While she temper tantrum-ly refused.

I have to say that I kept my cool, for once. My brick wall of "I am the parent, you are the child" was strong. Supernanny would have been proud.

She cried. I almost buckled. She knows my kryptonite.

But I said almost. Because I gently asked again if she was sorry.

And her little arms flailed and her legs kicked with venom. And her tears turned to an angry sea of terror.

Touche little one, you almost had mommy there.

Timeout sat next to me and said to keep it up. She won't stop loving you because of this. She won't hate you and start packing her toddler suitcase to look for a better mother. She will always love you and she needs this.

Then a half hour (that felt like infinity...since it was me and her in our stare down of the century) came and she had had enough.

With only drama that could come from my side of the family, she whimpered....

"You win Mama...you are the champion...you are the light..."

WHAT? That coulda happened....Alright, alright....she didn't say THAT. (giggle.)

"Immmmm....ssoooorraaaahhhyyy.....Mammmaaammm"

I held out my arms and our life went resumed back to normal. (If Timeout were a real living person we'd be high fiving like a bunch of crazee's)

Well, not exactly. When I said that our world changed a little. It did. Because that night, while out to dinner, Lil Rambler acted up and USUALLY daddy just has to look at her. And it didn't work. He said something. That didn't work. She put out a little more attitude than she usually does with her father. And it got to him.

But then all I said was "Timeout?" and the Lil Rambler knew who was boss in this house!

10 zillion for Lil Rambler.....11 zillion for Daddy Rambler....and finally...TWO for the Rambler.

Pass on a high five, if you please...

Fiauna is someone that's been around my blog for a while...she posted the cutest thing today that her daughter kind of started around her home.

It's the high five coat...go check it out. It's simple, but I thought it would be nice if you drop by and say hey and give a girl a high five!

If you please. :)

And then...life happened.

I know I've been bitter Betty lately....or Negative Nancy.

Whatever name that describes crankiness and as non-tolerant as one can be....it has my picture next to it.

But for a brief moment this week I was given a gift.

I witnessed for the first time the birth of a baby.

Yes, that's right. My first time.

I know I'd given birth to one, but it's quite different being on the other end of the spectrum.

If you ask around these Rambler parts, I do NOT have the strongest stomach. My gag reflex and vomit button are connected to my 2 senses that are vital to being of any help.

Smell and sight.

So just because I might be able to close my eyes to help you, if something is pretty narly smelling on you chances are.....the gag reflex is gonna trigger the vomit in me and I'm a mess. And you still need help...well, now WE both need help.

My own mother wasn't sure how I was gonna deliver.

When my cousin (you know, the one who I mentioned forced me to read Twilight...I swear, last time, as I've managed to slip in Twilight AGAIN) called me Monday morning and invited me to be in the hospital room as she gave birth later that evening...my first and most natural instinct response was

"Of fricking course. Call me when you actually get a room and settled"

Erm, who am I and what did I do with myself?

It was her third and that crazy it's my first child I'll get to the hospital a zillion hours early with my family and a BBQ in tow was of her past.

I had prior plans to meet the BFF's and have a girls night out and still had time to do it.

While dining early with the girls, I had had a glass of wine and had received text messages that she had finally got a room...cause it was 'busy' and so the low priority pregnant ladies had to wait until a room was available. Can you imagine? Waiting for a room and being pregnant and wanting to just give birth already?

Anywho....I'd had a glass of wine like I mentioned and I had questions. My two BFF's were present at the birth of Lil Rambler and I asked..."How bad was it?"

They know me. They know I'm weak in the stomach.

My BFF was funny.

"um...it smelt like vagina??" said not in a disgusting way, just trying to get across to me...to be prepared.

"WHAT?" me totally being a drama queen and thinking I was going to vomit.

"Maybe wet vagina, I guess?" Important because I use this very sentence later...in front of medical professionals.

"Oh. God." Me...sweating it...my BFF's laughing cause again, I. am. dramatic.

Another glass of wine and I was on my way to the hospital...with words of wisdom from them.

"Don't pass out...remember it's about the baby."

I get there. I call for the room number again because my two glasses of wine brain couldn't remember and the last thing I wanted to do was walk into the wrong room with some pregnant lady and whoever was supporting at some inappropriate time.

I threaten my cousins husband via the phone that if he sends me to the wrong room because he's bored...I'll kick his ass in the hallway. He laughs. I swear more, but whisper swearing out of respect for where I am.

I open the door with hesitation.

Whew. Its the right door.

My cousin and I have been with each other since her birth. Our mothers are sisters. We did EVERYTHING together. It's like we are sisters really.

As cousin-sisters we reveled in the art of drama. We live it, breathe it, love it.

She says as I appear a little nervous and says she's sorry and if I wanted to turn around and run, not to worry.

I plop down on the chair next to her husband and say...I'm here for the long haul baby.

The nurse is there. Checking the baby's vitals, my cousins fluids that seem to be plenty that are hooked to her arms. I'm nervous. So...

For some damn reason.....I actually asked...(not really sure who I directed this question to)

"So...does the room really smell like wet Va-jay-jay when it gets near?"



Goddamn glasses of wine!!

That's it. My cousin and her husband laughed. The nurse giggled.

Hours later. My mouth in check...the big moment came.

I did good. My cousin was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!

New found respect for Mothers. NEW.FOUND.RESPECT.

And then folks....a new little 'drama' queen was born to my family and the biggest smile my face had graced all month showed itself.


**************

Happy Birthday to my littlest sister today!! 24. Where does the time go!

xoxo.

So what...

So what...


...if it's Thursday and I usually post Think About It Thursdays.

...I've had a bitter edge to myself the last couple of months and I unloaded after 2 glasses of wine to my BFF.

...if I 'hurt my employee's heart' the other day because she stood in front of me while I was extremely busy to ask if she still needed to be at work...and I didn't answer nicely.

(Really? I'm busy and sweating and you actually think I'm going to send you home so I can work even harder? And when I answer the first time no, you actually asked me 2 more times in a different way. And you wonder why I didn't answer in my "oh so cheery self"?

...if I lost my blog mojo and can't write anything creative.

...if I'm feeling a little lost having read all the Twilight books and wanting just a tiny bit more.

So what?

You have any So What's for me today?

Trading one addiction for another...

My supergeeky husband has fixed my precious.

I am one again with it.

It got a little strange to not just pop on the Internet to surf the world of somewhere else. I hadn't realized how much I did it. (probably a little sad really)

But it reminded me of when I started my diet.

You know. you hate the diet so much. You look at the food and highly calorie filled beverages you shouldn't be drinking and again, hate the diet that much. A little sane voice in your head tells you it's good for you, the diet. But you tell her. "Your stupid. I hate you." But then something clicks and your more into it, you realize the benefits and you see some progress. If your lucky, you get hooked more on the losing the poundage than not.

(Um...I don't know where I was going with that. Can you tell I'm slightly still on a diet? I'm sure it had a point.)

Back to my story....

But you know what happened? I found a very intense substitution for my laptop being in the shop for repairs.

I said I would NEVER (and I meant NEEVERRRR) do it.

I. Read. All. The. Twilight. Books.



DAMN it all to hell. (Actually the blame lies on my 9 month pregnant cousin for insisting...hard to tell a preggo girl no.)

I was the one that scoffed at so many for reading it, and being so infatuated with that silly vampire kid. I couldn't understand while reading blog posts, hearing my employees say that hadn't slept much since starting the 4 book series. What was all the hullabaloo about? Another love story? Eh...who cares?

Me. Always shaking my head.

Me. Always leaving comments that I wouldn't waver and do what all the others were doing by being sucked in.

Silly girls, I thought confidently.

But....I get it now. I can say honestly that I didn't think in the beginning of book one,"Twilight", that I would even finish it. But something in that book got me hooked.

Probably the intense love that was between the two main characters. Edward & Bella.

I'm not going to sit here and review it. Don't worry.

Here's a confession. My laptop has been fixed since Friday. I was in the middle of book three, "Eclipse" and petted my precious and told it that when I was done with all four books, I would be back. That my fingers would be feverishly typing away, surfing the net like we do, maybe even get back into really posting on a more excited level. My husband couldn't believe I didn't test his finished product. He wondered at how long I would actually keep my head buried in a book.

I have finished the series. It took me since last Sunday. 7 days. I rarely get a chance to read anymore being a parent of a young active child. And more rarely do I find a book that sucks me in so.

I neglected certain domestic duties around the house, I packed the book and read at red lights in traffic, me and some girls at work had lengthy discussions on how we felt about certain topics Edward & Bella related, and text messages between a cousins wife about how we didn't think much of Rob Pattison before but as Edward wanted him to suck our blood (weird..I know...but maybe you diehards understand that?). Some girls even talked a little about their 'grieving process' after the last book.

Finally.

I read the last page of her 4 book series, last night about 8 hours ago. I was relieved it was over. I needed to go back to my life. I needed to sleep.

I really wanted to come back to blogging.

Some quickies...

Not gonna believe what happened?

My husband's spare laptop crapped out on me. I'm thinking summertime does not want me to be attached to the hip of my precious like wintertime. So now I stand hoovering over my husband waiting for him to get off his desktop so I can spill as much as I can.

I had decided to wait a bit on fixing my precious since we had a spare. I'll be responsible and not use up money right now.

uhmphf.

**************

While on the way to work the other day while sitting in traffic, two ambulances were making it's way through traffic to get to the hospital a couple of off ramps down. The first one passed. The second one passed and as I looked in my rear view mirror, I noticed a douchebag car following close as to not be stuck in traffic. Like I said. DOUCHEBAG.

Guess what?

That second ambulance stopped. The EMT got out. In the middle of the freeway...(remember, traffic so no cars were moving)...and gave that car friggin hell. NO JOKE. The EMT came toward the car who had stopped (and was probably pooping his pants a little) and told him "Are you f*cking crazy? Put your window down....beep beep beep more stuff I didn't hear"

The owner of the car put his window down just a crack. (Chicken)

I think all the cars actually applauded the EMT for 'checking' this guy at the "are you a dumb ass curb".

I know, that might have been a little dangerous and the whole thing lasted maybe 1 minute or so. But man, that made my day.

One for the good people...and nothing for the douchebag.

*************

I'm a little excited. As I work in a restaurant I don't work normal consistent days/hours. So when I get two days off in a row, it's rare and exciting. It's like summer school a little bit. The whole one day of school work is actually one week of school work...blah blah.

One day gone from the restaurant can bring A LOT of changes. So when you miss a lot of consistent days it's 'interesting' always coming back.

It just so happens that my boss decided to give me off Tuesday so my Sunday, Monday day off thing turned into 3 friggin days off...THAT folks is a long vacation in restaurant world.

*************

I need to log off now...my husband's stare as I nervously and quickly finish this so he can continue his normal computer geeky rituals...

So if you don't see me around this week. You all know why.

*************

Think About It Thursdays #25....Who bugs you?

Friends...YOUR comments were so fantastic last week with the whole would you or would you not want a tail?

Housewife Savant said...

We recently had our long-haired cat shaved which is Just. Too. Easy. [but go ahead, insert your joke here].
It's called a Lion Cut, and his tail is so SWEET I'd surely want one just like it.
Screw function.
I'm all about the swishiness.

Housewife is one of my favorite ladies that is so brilliantly witty and snarky! I always so look forward to her comments.

Mama Nut said...

Well, I suppose what kind of a tail it was. If it was like a dog's dail which doesn't seem to have a function besides letting everyone around it know how it's feeling, (okay, and probably cool themselves off and shoo away flies) then I would probably tuck that sucker in, in an effort to thwart being a completely open book. I prefer a little mystery. BUT, if the tail is a functional one like a monkey's or a gecko's then I would totally whip that baby out and multitask away!

Chuckle. You know, it would be good to have an extra thing (aka..tail) to swat the flies away when I'm too lazy to bend down and swat with my hands. But I'm so with you on the mystery thing :)

Martha said...

I don't want a tail, I have more than enough "Junk in my trunk" without more stuff back there. Heck, my cat doesn't even have a tail, she's a Manx.

I don't know why but you made me think of Sir Mix A Lot's song...OH.MY.God. Becky...look at her butt....I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny...

Thanks. Thanks for that. :)

Vivienne said...

If I could tuck it UP through my shirt, I would use it to stuff my bra. Otherwise I would probably just pull it up and tuck it into a ponytail to keep it out of my way, like the rest of my hair.

Buwahahahahahaha....this was my absolute top comment for sure on uses for a tail if we had one. You my friend are genius :)

**************
"
Shan said...I've been racking my brain for a suitable question. Now that it's all stretched out and kinda dry, I've realized, I used a couple of good ones recently in a class I teach:
Can you tell us about a person who irritates you? (This came from a recent trip to Vegas... ahem... and was very cathartic for me and apparently for the people in class as well.)"

I chose this question because this past week has brought one of my employees to an all code red type of annoyance at work that even before she walks in I prepare myself mentally for the exhaustion that I find myself in when working with her. She's one of those people that just says something in a tone that just scratches the nail across your brain. And the evil in you comes out.

:sigh:

Okay friends. I'm curious. Anyone in particular?

Thanks so much Shan @ Counterfeit Fake for the question!!

Dear Money I don't have,

Dear Money,

Why? Where do you go so fast? Why can't I save you?

I work hard. Really hard.

My husband works hard.

I get my paycheck and before I know it...

********
Rent..check

Electric bill...check

Phone bill...check

Fuel for cars...check

Pull ups for kid...check

Food for family (mainly kid)...check

Cable bill...check

Gas bill...check

Stupid bills accrued from stupid younger stupider unknowing days....check.
*******

Fine...I know where your going. But could you at least leave a little for me to not sweat donkey balls every other week? Just a tiny bit?

Signed,

Sweating Donkey balls until payday Friday

Think About It Thursdays #24....Tail or no Tail?

Oh wow.

I really loved all the questions you gave me to use for my Think About It Thursdays!

And here's the funny thing.

My favorite comment/question to start off my readers questions for everyone was from an Anonymous commenter. What? Come on! Well hopefully you'll come back and let us know who you are...or at least read what others have to say about your question. LWV...is that you? My dear friend?

So here we go people of Blogland.

"Anonymous said...

If you had a functioning tail, would you tuck it in your pants/skirt or use it openly... I wish I had an extra hand regularly so I would probably use it."

Yeah. I'm gonna say use it, openly.

You can NEVER have enough help when being a parent.

Right?

Randomly writing here on Tuesday...like the others

Tonight while driving home I followed a completely drunk a-hole onto the freeway. I actually called 911 to report the driver because I was so sure he was gonna take someone out.

Followed him for about 10 minutes. No cop showed up. Whatever. I did my duty.

**************

With the death of MJ, I've been for some reason into reliving my youth with his sister's music.

Like I went back to her Control album...comeon...you know your singing...

Controooollll....I'm.In.Control.

and how about a little

Nasty...Nasty boy..don't mean a thing...

Oh, Oh..whatabout

What have you done for me lately?

Yeah, I did move on from that one album but I won't sing the rest of the songs.

(how about the one with Antonio Sabato Jr? Yummmmm....)

You know...I met him once for my job. I almost had an orgasm when he smiled at me and said hello. No joke. His dimples were to DIE FOR.

**************

For some strange reason since Jon & Kate plus Eight announced the divorce thing, I've been watching their past shows...analyzing. Wondering about when it started to go wrong.

Weird. I know.

**************

Did I ever say that I have an issue saying shoulder AND solider. Like the d in solider should be like a j, right? But my brain malfunctions and gets lispy and tounge tied.

Try say the soliders shoulder hurts? Say it...

Just me?

***************

I'm at the point in my diet that I have lost almost 17 pounds. When I got sick last week I was really at a total of 21 but I guess when you don't eat for 3 days that might do it to you.

But I hate diet. But I know I need it. I must forge on.

I have until October until a special person's special day that I said I wanted to have my waistline a little skinnier.

The skinny bitch is slowly emerging.

****************

I have clean laundry piling up waiting for me to fold and put away.

I don't wannnnnaaaaaaaa.

***************

My daughter will be three this August. I can't believe it. Where in the world has the time gone? How in the world did I even get here?

My mind flips a little and says

"Aren't we 19?"

"Why do you have rules now?"

"Why can't we have that extra piece of cake?"

"When did you say going to bed at 10pm was awesome?"

"And when in the world did you think we would be up before 11am?"

I can't really remember my life before her. And it's okay because she fills my every bit of my heart and soul more than I could ever hope for...(yes, a little awww moment).

*****************

Will you fine folks visit of real life friend of mine...The ChrysantheMOM...We met through my BFF years ago and she's been my standing 'date' at events we attend BFF related. She's absolutely hands down awesome. Please say hi. Please :)

*****************

I'm confused what day is today. I worked and closed last night (off at 12:30 am). I haven't worked a Monday night in probably 8 years. It really threw me off my mental schedule.

*****************

Alright...enough random for now.

Bye Bye!

Waahhhhhh....my laptop is out of commission

So, my hard drive decided it didn't want to work anymore.

Maybe it knew I wasn't "into it". Maybe this is it's way to say....

"Here's to disrespecting me, biznatch! I quit!".

I don't know. But I feel lost without my stuff. You know...the stuff that I don't need until my computer breaks down.

My super geeky husband is going to fix it (thank heavens for a man like him that lives in this house!). For now, I have his spare laptop (remember I just said he's a geek so of course he has more than just a desktop).

No favorites, my games are gone, and praise all that is holy that most of my pictures had just been saved to an external hard drive (um, that makes me feel like I know what I'm doing, but I really really don't. Imagine blank stare as anything computer-y gets discussed. Poor geeky husband.)

*Sigh*

**Long sigh**

***Really long sigh***

P.S....Thanks to Olive Street Studios (who makes some awesome handbags...and other things) for the tag and Funny on my mind for the great award. Now back to sighing...

***SIGH***

Think About It Thursdays #23....Um, Erm, Gimme a Question.

Thanks for participating in last week's "Are you where you thought you'd be?" question.

Some comments to share from the group.

K said...

My life is isn't where I thought it would be at all - but it's actually better.

I wasn't planning on even thinking about getting married until I was 30 and never in a hundred years did I expect to be a SAHM.

I was going to be a hard core career girl all the way. I even had the hard core job for 5 years and got the masters degree.

My second is due a week before my 30th birthday and I've been married 5 years. Who knew?

Can I tell you how excited I was to read that post. That you were pregnant. Oh.My.God. So excited. I'm silly. I know :)

WhisperingWriter said...

My goal was to be published by 25.

That never happened.

I'm working on getting published by 30.

I hope that happens.

Fingers crossed. Your an excellent writer.

Shan said...

In some ways, I'm beyond where I thought I'd be.

I do feel like a grown up who knows her own mind, something I expected by 28 but didn't really get to for another few years.

I do have more than one child, something I wasn't sure would happen and almost didn't (they're 15 years apart), but nowhere near the eight I "knew" I'd have when I was younger.

The man I'm married to is frequently the stuff dreams are made of, with not too much real life "guy" thrown in. Not sure how I score like I did, so don't tell anyone.

We own a home... a dream only recently hatched and very recently achieved.

But I'm not a nurse, which was my back up plan for the eight kids. I've looked into it, but my tolerance for school isn't what it once... oh, who am I kidding? I don't have the attention span for it.

This is off topic, but this foggy-brained morning a song came on the radio. Something by Kenny Chesney, where he sings "I was going fast as a Rambler goes... " The visual image that usually comes with that song has now been replaced by some sort of amalgam of you pushing a stroller and working in a restaurant at warp speed. As I said, foggy-brained morning.

Where have you been my whole life? I completely enjoyed your comments this week!!

***************
"I'm stumped people. Gimme a question. I'll use these questions for the next couple of Think About It Thursdays post"

I haven't been really feeling the blog life lately. I can't understand it. I look at my laptop and sigh rather than burn it's lifetime in battery life down. Maybe like Mammatalk said, it's summer and maybe bloggers prefer this as a winter sport?

However, I did read a post yesterday from It's a Fine Life. It really resonated with me and I completely understood what she was writing about. About filling your emotional cup. Please go over there and check it out. Interesting read.

Until next week folks.

Think About It Thursdays #22..Are you where you thought you'd be?

Thanks for last weeks comments on your Senses!! A lot of GREAT comments :)

Martha said...

Smell- my husband's scent - He smells yummy.

Taste- Chocolate, preferably See's.

Sound- Nature: birdsong, running streams, sighs of the trees as the wind blows through their branches.

Sight- The smiles of my family, my hubby and our two sons.

Touch- Hugs

Grossest stuff, after 27 yrs as RN I have so got this covered.

Smell- Patients with GI Bleeds - it is so bad that it is necessary to do the clinician survival trick of putting Vick.s Vapo.rub under your nose and then putting on a surgical mask.

Sight- Patient smoking through their tracheotomy.

I will spare you and your dear readers anymore grossness. I mean unless you want more, than you know where to find me.
Thanks, Rambler.

Martha...whoa. I could never survive in your neck of the professional world. I am way too skirmish. People like you deserve medals for a strong stomach. Even if you gotta put Vapo Rub :)

andy said...

i'm gonna go against our flow here girls.

just 'cause i'm like that.

here are my LEAST favourite of the five senses:

touch: pulling styrofoam out of a box. can we all say "squeaky hell?"

taste: that four day old half glass of wine from my computer desk. totally disgusting, but it's all that is in the house and you need a drink so you're forced to swig it down.

smell: the boyfriends mothers cooking. i love seafood, but her fish smells like a rotten can of sardines thats been sitting out in the sun for two weeks. or she burns it. which is awesome too. makes me think i'm about to have a seizure, but then i notice that it's just her burning toast again.

sight: seeing that i only have a couple of reeelax pills left in the bottle and realizing i have to ration them until i get back to my awesome doctor.

sound: kids puking @ 02:00am. nuff said.

andy

p.s. does that make me sound too negative?

p.p.s. don't care.

Andy...for real. You crack me up!! Like I'm almost pee'ing my pants. God I heart you!!

****************

Flipping through some highly intelligent literary read (um, alright...it was People...sue me) I came across the topic for today's question to ponder.

"Did you set life goals for yourself, like what you wanted accomplished by a certain age? If you did, what are some and have you hit the mark? Knowing what you know now, would you have still made this a goal? Or stressed it's importance?"

Discuss.

This is why I'm not a girlie girl!!!

So it's been a little rough since coming home from vacation to get back into the swing of things here in Ramblerland.

I tried getting back in the saddle, but I hadn't strapped the belt right (or whatever you do for the horses and the saddle).

I've started a stupid amount of posts that all lasted as long as two sentences and it's fire went out.

But while trekking through blogland tonight I found an inspiration for a post. FINALLY.

One of my faves and oldies (not age girl, meaning length of time I've been reading her) So Not Mom-a-licous posted something today that somehow mentioned eyebrows.

And I have to tell you all a story that happened...of course..to ME.

I am a girl that wouldn't be in the fashion tent in NYC. I don't know how the frick makeup works (ask the BFF's...I make them cringe).

With that I try to go to others when attempting to beautify myself. Manicures, pedicures and lets just say waxing.

Waxing. Waxing. Waxing.
(God, it's so much taking care of ourselves. Ugh.)

So a very 8 month pregnant me and a cousin (who was more pregnant) decided to mall shop. She takes care of herself wayyyy better than I can/do/have/will.

So when she spotted this new salon at the mall and said lets do our eyebrows, I was like....

Um. M'kay.

She says. You go first. I have kid #1 acting up.

Um. M'kay.

I go into room.

It's peaceful like I'm gonna get a facial.

I tell the nice lady how I want the eyebrows.

I lie down.

We small talk about when I'm due. Sex of the baby. Blah Blah. Blah.

Then....

Some cleaning lady comes in and starts making all this noise looking for something.

She distracts nice lady WHILE waxing.

Nice lady yells at cleaning lady to hurry and leave.

Yah...awkward. My eyebrow feels 'weird'

Cleaning lady leaves.

Cleaning lady comes back.

Nice lady freaks out again.

Ramblers thinking WTF. But remains calm.

Cleaning lady leaves.

Nice lady looks back at Ramblers face and gasps.

YES.

She gasped.

The fricking nice lady ripped off almost 2/3 's of my eyebrow OFF.

She calls in makeup lady while I sit and process and think maybe it's not that bad.

Makeup lady covers up, calls me sweetie. The owner comes in and says I look beautiful. I'm rubbing my belly getting nervous.

I come out of the room. My cousin looks at me and says she doesn't need any waxing. I smile in some delusional stunned way. And we leave. I am so stunned I don't make a big deal about it. Which might explain the breathing out on the whole staff's part when we left.

I go home. I show my husband. I cry most of the night and avoid the mirror.

For 2 months, I had to have my employees at work help me put a effing fake eyebrow on with a pencil liner (remember I am clueless about makeup) and some fill in eyebrow tracer thing.

I have NOT had my eyebrows done in over 3 years now.

Wait...I do them myself...just they aren't so 'professional' looking.

Remember.

I am NOT a girlie girl!!

But I will not have a UNIBROW!

Does anyone have this feature on their phone?

Seriously. That would be great to use on my husband. (alright, only on the days we don't like each other!)

I'm sick.

Like did not get out of bed for two days sick. On the third crawled to wash dishes and sweated like a whore in church, and crawled back to bed sick.

On the fourth day, I went to work. That really really really sucked.

So all you guys get is this hilarious video that I hope you watch and this stupid post! :)

Tee-shirts to follow.

Did I mention I was a little delusional?

Interviewing can be interesting....

I've been in management for over 10 years and I have to say...

I've interviewed some really interesting characters.

Before an interview I usually like to designate someone to 'watch me'. Just in case I don't know how to politely end the interview. I don't care what they say just please come by and say it's the effing President on the phone and I have to end the interview.

Below are some of the people I get to interview at least once a month...

The Over-Talker-InterviewEE-turned-InterviewER.
(The OTITI..I know what it sounds like)

The person kind of sneaks up on you. Beware. It's innocent really, because they are dressed nice, good eye contact. They brought a pen to the interview!

(My pet peeve. To me, it's like going there without a shirt on...always be prepared. Bring a pen. You should only have to ask me for an application.)

The OTITI immediately takes over the conversation in an instant.

She/He speaks quickly and without breathing. While you stand there and attempt many inserts of your own questions, they rattle on. Oblivious to the fact the manager has not been able to ask one question except to say..."Hi, my name is Boss Rambl..."

My mind wanders a bit in between attempts. "How many pots of coffee has she had" "Will she shut up so I can ask a question" "Too bad, she looked normal"

My Designator was busy 'flirting' with a pretty gal who'd just come to his bar. (Damn him, must remember to pick more reliable Designator)

The Awkward-Quiet-My-Mother-Told-Me-to-Get-A-Job

This is a kid that usually sits on their behind at home. Just graduated from high school, maybe. Completely unmotivated. Their mother just wants them to get OUT OF THE HOUSE. (I don't blame her).

This makes for a most awkward interview because of their one word answers to all your questions.

Or blank looks because they can't believe they had to dress up with a nice shirt and tie and sit at a table with an "old" lady and answer questions.

For me, this is an easy interview to end quickly.

Don't call me, I'll call you kind of thing.

The-Don't-Look-Me-In-The-Eyes-Person

I grew up learning to shake hands firmly and look people in the eyes. Shifty eyes can be unsettling and uncomfortable.

This person from the moment you shake hands looks over, around and below you. I find myself secretly brushing past my mouth, nose and eyes blindly searching for remnants of food, buggers and or crap attached to my face in an unattractive way. Or checking to see if my bra strap is showing or toilet paper is stuck on my shoe. All at the same time. Because shifty eyes makes me nervous.

I ask my questions. I get answers but with very little to no eye contact. Again, I wonder if the spinach I ate days ago is somehow lodged still between my two front teeth. Very distracting for a person like me doing an interview.

And usually after the interview...I go to a mirror to check myself out.

Gotta catch another thing...Person

"Dude...you the manager?"

"Yes?" (Oh God)

"So, do you have to work hard here?"

"Um..." (Oh Lord. Really?)

"Cause I need money...but I don't enjoy working. Dude."

"Erm...I'm not hiring right now" (As I hide the Now Hiring sign)


***********

So words of advice from Boss Rambler here.

Bring a pen, shake hands firmly but not WWF-ly, make good eye contact, and let the interview be a two way conversation.

Think About It Thursdays #21...Tell me your Senses...

Thanks to those that participated in last weeks influential person question last week.

Some comments to share with the classroom today :)

OliveStreetStudio said... Thanks for your story - very nice that you had the unexpected opportunity to thank this supportive man!! I have two minor bits to contribute:

To the woman who gave me my first job in an ice-cream parlor when I was 12 - I worked for her for 7 summers and she really helped bring me out of my shy-shell. I eventually ran the shop and placed our orders. She trusted me with running her business. To this day I tell her that job was my absolute favorite in the world (and not because i got to eat ice cream everyday!)

My negative on this: My Aunt, who when I told I wanted to major in Biology, told me I'd never make any $$ or I'd have to go to med school....she discouraged me at 16 YOs and I got nervous so I switched my major. To this DAY I regret not pursuing my love of science...BUT I have gone back to school and taken bio, chem, and physics classes and one day hope to teach HS Chemistry. :-)

I loved that you had someone that was an influence on both ends. Great comment!!

WhisperingWriter said...

Wonderful post.

To be honest, I think it WAS my parents who were quite influential in my life. You see, my Mom was an Officer in the Air Force and she battled all sorts of sexism. She never gave up. Then my Dad decided to stay home with me because he walked in to pick me up at daycare once and he didn't like the tone the providers were using at the children. So he quit his job and became a SAHD. Back in those days, it wasn't done as often so he was mocked quite a bit. Both of my parents have always fascinated me.

As I grow older I find myself looking at my parents lives at the age I am now, their decisions in life they made and looking at it with the eyes of an adult. I understand a little better why things were the way they were. I'm glad you had parents that weren't scared to not be the cookie cutter type of parents that were expected!

vanover521 said...

i would have to say the wife of the youth pastor i hated.

confused? ok let me explain.

he was a guy who just rubbed me the wrong way.

his wife was sweet, caring, thoughtful, loved God with everything in her. she was everything i ever wanted to be.

well... except for being married to him.

she was someone who would listen to anything, was supportive, helpful. she cared so much about each of us girls. it's amazing when i think back to her.

and no, i don't think that i've ever been able to tell her how i feel about it because they've long since moved and i've lost touch with her. not that i couldn't find them with a bit of detective work.

but she was amazing. and probably still is.

I have always been fascinated with finding someone that is absolutely wonderful and to find their partner to be someone you would never want to be in a room with.

************************
Okay so my sister Antibloggedy inspired my question for today....

"Tell me your favorite/funny/gross thing about the 5 senses. Sense of Smell, Sound, Taste, Touch & Sight"


Me?

Smell...Chocolate and hot bread....especially if together...mmmmmm.
Sound..My daughters laughter.
Taste...The chocolate and hot bread (What...I can have this has two things right?)
Touch...My daughters hugs.
Sight...Lil Rambler...EVERYDAY.

Okay people...

Discuss.

Mental Note to Self.....

Mental Note to Self'ing for future reference....

...When Lil Rambler and I play catch and throw with Jack N Box Antenna Ball....pay attention.

...Don't smile gloriously when husband whines he's "exhausted" from watching the kid for almost 2.5 days straight....(Buwahahahahahahaha)

...When scheduling myself the "this 40 hours in 3 days will kill you schedule" tell myself I'm stupid...no, no, tell me it's ludicrous and you (wait, isn't it I?) should be confined to a crazy home.

...Be better prepared when something like my 300th post came and went...WHAT..yah, it totally did! Yeah me.

...Being more prompt when thanking people like Janana Bee and Mama Loco for being a winner to their giveaways!!!....Janana Bee made me a kick ass CD to workout to (like 1o zillion years ago..bowing for forgiveness for my complete rudeness). Mama Loco...oh man, you gotta check out what I won from her...If I wasn't so lame you'd be seeing photos of my Boyphone (IPhone for you newbies) with Janana Bee's playlist labeled Kick Ass Playlist....and photos of me fawning over my goodies from Mama Loco.


That will conclude today's post folks...as when I mentioned I worked 40 hours Friday to Sunday any creativity or excitement for writing was zapped when I wrote the title. (tee hee). This does not include Wed and Thursdays 16 hours.

I know...eat some cheese with that whine Rambler!

Hi, my name is Zombie Mom.

You know her.

Maybe you are her.

She's the woman who slides out of bed while leaving barely an imprint of herself in the bed. She fights with the eye boogey that has attached itself to the top AND bottom eyelash. And prays that the toothpaste is really toothpaste and not husband's shaving cream.

The eye boogey has been washed out with remnants of water and traces of toothpaste left on fingers. Searing pain still does not wake her fully.

And stumbles out of the bathroom.

She dresses.

She looks in mirror. With one eye.

She re-dresses as her yoga pants are on backwards.

She answers the pleas of Juuucee & Eat.

The toddler of the Zombie mother has already gotten up. And has already lined all toys out on the floor from front door to her bedroom.

Toddler has the energy that defeats the family of the energizer bunnies and wants Zombie mom on full attention.

All before a decent cup of coffee.

Do you know her?