Thursday, March 19, 2009

Think About It Thursdays....#12...Asking for help?


I really want to thank EVERYONE last week that answered in last week's What If for Think about It Thursdays. I was really wow wow'd by some of your answers. And to those that branched off and wrote a whole post on your What If moment.

Read below some of the comments that made me say wow.

OliveStreetStudio said...

OK- here is one- kinda the opposite- if I HADN"T had sex with my husband that one night when I was seething mad at him, I wouldn't have my BEAUTIFUL daughter today. Mind you, this came after 3 years of infertility and failed treatments. I'm SO HAPPY about that night on the couch! :-0

(I am soooo glad that worked out for you!!)

Amy said...

If my nephew hadn't woken up to eat that night in December 2007 to eat, the entire family (my sister, BIL, and 4 other nephews) may have died in the house fire.

Some babies truly are angels.

(Yes they are Amy. Yes they are!)
Funny in my mind said...

If I had gone to the hospital to see my mother before the unexpected heart failure and ensuing life support and death, I would have been able to see her and talk to her and instead spent too much time working at the stupid restaurant that was staffed. I will not ever feel good about this.

(Funny...((HUGS))...we could have some serious convo's about this one. I, too, did not see my father at the end and it's a heavy bag of burdens I carry to this day)
MammaDucky said...

What if my OB hadn't INSISTED that I have a c-section less than 24hrs after my 39 wk appt. with Pickles? If I had tried to labor (which I was hell bent on), would the knot in his cord (and cord around his neck-neither of which were known about until he was born) have tightened? Would we have lost him?
Another "what if" that CONSTANTLY plays in my mind is the, what if hubby hadn't made it home from the war. So many didn't. Where would my life have gone?

(Mamma...I've loved you forever...and am happy that this did not play out the other way. Thought of you today when a big ass SUV drove past me with a big SO-CAL sticker on the back window.)

*******************
On to this weeks question that I picked out of the book this week.

Is it easy for you to accept help when you need it? Will you ask for help?

Ready.

Go.

Comment. :)

24 ramblings of your own:

Amy said...

If I'm absolutely convinced that I need help then yes, I'm eager and willing to accept it and ask for it. Except when it comes to financial stuff. In that case my pride takes over.

Shorty said...

Sometimes it is very easy for me to accept help, and other times I don't really want to accept it. I guess it is totally dependent on what I need help with and who is doing the helping.

I do ask for help from certain people...my husband, my mom, my sis, my closest friends. People who I feel really close to and can tell if they genuinely are willing to help. But, its not always easy to do so. I can be quite prideful, but I like to think that I wouldn't let my pride get in the way if I was about to lose my house or not have food in the fridge or something devastating like that.

Then, there are some people that I would never want help from. People that have hurt me in the past, or people that I know don't truly care.

Tooj said...

Those were wonderful selections to lightlight. Thanks for putting them in a post. Sometimes I'm just in a hurry to comment (and then get back to work) so I don't take the time to read the other comments. :)

Asking for help was very difficult when I was younger. Now that I've hit 30(+1) and have 3 kids in the house, and have a hubby who demands that I designate duties....I've learned. And it feels good to rely on someone else. It builds a trust in others, and I think that's important as opposed to thinking you need to do it all yourself. Others ARE CAPABLE, if we only allow them.

Funny in my mind said...

It really depends on what I am doing. Sometimes I want to prove that I can do it myself. At those times I get angry when I do have to ask for help. Other times I want someone to do it for me so I ask for help hoping they will do it instead.
Especially where my husband is concerned. He always wants to take care of me and fix everything but I like to show him I can take care of myself (although it is nice to know I don't have to!)

Penz said...

Not always love. However, over the years and the struggles I have endured raising 3 kids pretty much alone before I met T, I learned that the only way to survive was to ask for help. Even if it was to buy a gallon of milk for the kids or gas. Now, it is easy to ask for help. I think that as you get older you realize that the more you talk to people the more you can get help. Mortage late, call them, let them know whats going on. Just ignoring your issues only prolongs them, it doesn't solve them. Also, I ask for help daily, from God. For him just to give me the tools I need to get through the day. Good question love. :)

debilyn said...

Absolutely not. I totally suck at asking for help, although I'm not above accepting it when it's offered. My independence is sometimes a really great thing...but I forget (often) that occasionally the important people in my life have to feel needed. I'm still working on it...

Also, I don't know if it's an issue or not, but I changed my URL yesterday. If Blogger doesn't redirect you, the new one is:

definitelydebilyn.blogspot.com

MommyAmy said...

Thanks for stopping by and welcoming me to SITS! :) So far I'm totally lovin' it!

Love your idea about taking questions out of this book to ask your readers! I remember that book from waaaaaay back in my childhood. My mom is in the mental health industry and I remember that book sitting around and being thumbed through for dinner conversation topics. lol

Is it easy for me to accept help when I need it? I grew up sort of out in the country, a place where neighbors were constantly being called on for help (and where we were being called on too!). I think that this fostered the idea in my head that when you ask for help, others will also feel comfortable asking you. This starts a circle of assistance which in turn brings a sense of friendship and support that wouldn't be there otherwise. My husband has a hard time with this, he was raised to be independent and do everything within your own power before reaching out to others. I think having twins has been good for both of us. I have had to really step up and work harder than I ever have in my life, otherwise I'd be asking for help ALL the time. And he has had to be more open about accepting help from others, because there have been times when we REALLY needed a break! I think we've both gotten better at accepting help when we need it, and we're super appreciative about it too.

Fiauna said...

It is so hard for me to ask for help, something that has caused me a lot of unnecessary drama. But when my daughter was having 30 seizures a day, my other three children needed a stable mommy, and my husband needed somewhere to rest his worries at the end of the day, I knew I needed to humble myself and ask for help. Now I'm much better at asking for help when realize I can't do it all on my own.

K said...

I have a really hard time asking for help.

I think that's part of why I knew my husband was THE ONE. Somehow I can let him help and it's okay.

MammaDucky said...

My hubby says I don't ask for his help. I do, he just doesn't listen when I talk. He CLAIMS he would help more if I asked. Well, maybe I hint, very heavily.
I don't really accept help too too much. It's the martyr in me. My Mother taught me that one well. It's the old, "I am woman, hear me roar" type thing. I don't need anybody. Ha! That's a laugh.

Kaycee said...

This is something I'm working on. I always feel like I'm putting people out when I ask for help, so I usually don't.

I do recognize that not asking for help contributes to me feeling burnt out all the time. There are plenty of people around who would help me if I asked. I'm a work in progress.

Minka said...

I love being independent ... soooo much! I'm not good at asking for help and when I ask for it I usually ask people who do not make a big deal out of it. And what do I ask for? Information, advice, a favour... Money? Nope. Not for years and when I had to I felt lousy. Hope I'll never have to do it again.

Mighty M said...

It is very hard for me to ask for help - I usually have to be at the breaking point and it usually comes in the form of a break down. I will absolutely accept help if it's offered and I need it. At times I have been overwhelmed by the generosity of other people.

Missy said...

Instead of asking, I usually blow and complain until someone volunteers! I need to work on the asking thing!

OliveStreetStudio said...

Thanks for including my response to question #11 - it really makes me feel blessed when I think of conceiving on our own! AND nice to read the others - some scary results avoided with the fire.

NOW, is it easy to accept help? Depends on what kind of help...babysitting while I run to Target? Helping with laundry and housework? OH YES - most definitely. Some other kinds are MUCH harder...like accepting financial help. My parents try to help us out, but the more I insist we are OK, the more then say "please take, take". I'm an adult now who has been working since graduating from college...I find it VERY hard to accept their financial help and usually don't cash the check.

Lisa said...

No - I am absolutely abysmal at asking for help. I'm pretty sure google was created for people like me because if there's any bit of information I need I will 99.9% of the time google it, rather than actually ask for help. I was kind of the adult in the house growing up, and therefore I became almost too self-reliant.

Muppet Soul said...

I'm really ridiculous about this one...

Basically, with friends and such, I am insistent on being able to ask for help, and knowing that I can.

However, I never do - and when we get on the topic of me & something serious, I usually deflect with most people.

From Bub, definitely - always ask for help. And one or two of my friends.

It's not a pride thing - it's a knowing you care about me enough that you would, but believe me I'll never ask, thing.

The Blonde Duck said...

I'm pretty bad about asking for help when it comes to personal things. If it's something I know I need help in, like getting my hair done or fitness training, I'm the first person to ask for help. And in school I was always ready to go get tutoring if I needed it. But as far as my home life, I have to be dying to ask for help.

Megan said...

When it comes to work, I'm pretty good about asking for and accepting help.

When it comes to me personally, it's hard for me to accept, but I usually do end up in the end. I rarely ask for help, though.

Bethany said...

I have a hard time asking for help, even when I need it. I'm a pretty independent, single girl and am used to doing everything myself... so no, I have a REALLY hard time!

Tammigirl said...

The more I need help the worse I am at asking for it.

I hope I do not pass this trait down to my children, but I'm afraid I will.

Mrs4444 said...

I love to have help. Honestly, though, I only let people help when I have confidence that their "helping" will not actually add WORK for me. That said, I'm good at delegating :)

Xbox Maven said...

I'm totally backwards... When it's something easy, I'll ask for help. For example, I'm entirely capable of going to the kitchen and getting my own drink, but I don't. Instead, I ask somebody else to grab it.

When it comes to the big things, though, the things I really should ask for help on... I generally don't. I don't know why. I apparently pick the wrong times to be helpless. :)

Leslie said...

Holy cow! I have that book. I used to do a blog where I typed in one of the questions, answered it, and solicited answers/debate from my friends. I thought it would be fun and educational. I enjoyed it, but didn't have a very big following. I'm not even sure where I put that book. Thanks for the flashback!

- a SITSta