Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I swear I don't make this stuff up...


Some of you know I run a restaurant in Waikiki.

Sometimes, this brings forth interesting tales that make it to this blog.

This is one of them.

I cannot tell you how many times I've had to pick up the work phone to listen to some person who I think is a potential guest turn into crazy #1234 of the year that I get to encounter.

One particular lady has been dialing our number and insisting she was a Sargent for the police (of loony land), and that the FBI raided our restaurant the night before but she had been interviewed in a dark room with a spotlight and told them that all was right with the world...with our place. She was insanely and crazily believable...if you were not the owner of a sound mind in tact.

WHATEVER.

Well, tonight...I had the PLEASURE of meeting her. While talking with my host staff outside, she decided to grace us with her presence. She looked normal....until she opened her mouth.

This is exactly how our conversation went.

Crazy lady: Did the FBI show up last night? I'm Sargent Whocares and you probably know who I am...I'm very important...I know all the right people.

Me (brain clicking...thinking NO WAY it's Crazy FBI lady in the flesh): I didn't work last night.

Crazy lady: They told me I could get my free meal.

Me: Oh, well that was yesterday.

Crazy lady: Yesterday? You sure? Didn't they tell you about me?

Me: Maybe you missed the memo?

Crazy lady: But you know about the FBI right? They still inside?

Me: Nope. They left, top secret stuff, I guess.

Crazy lady sighs, nods her head at me like she knows what kind of top secret mission is going on without her and takes off with another crazy person who also looks really normal.

~~~~~~~

Sigh.

It's fun pretending to be crazy with real crazy people.

When I mean fun, I don't mean MEAN fun...just playing along with the fantasy that they believe.

No harm, no foul.

Just another night at the Ramblers place of work.

39 ramblings of your own:

Shorty said...

Holy Cow! I don't think I would know what to say... sounds like you handled it perfectly. If she comes back you should ask to take her picture so you can talk to the FBI about her when they come back with their spotlight. If anything, you'll have her smiling face to look at the next time she just phones in. : )

Krissy said...

***giggles*** maybe you missed the memo. ***giggles***

mo.stoneskin said...

Fantastic. I love the way you ended the conversation. You could have minced it up a little, said they were in the kitchen torturing the chef or something.

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

That is insane!! I wonder if she was really crazy or just REALLLLY tryin' to get a free meal. Crazy lady.

Noelle said...

that was some quick thinking!

hiphophippie.com said...

I ADORE YOU!!! If I could work for you, I'd still be working in restaurants. You're pure awesomeness.

Tooj said...

Do people really....?

K said...

I love how you handled the situation.

Very smooth.

Martha said...

There is just All Kinds of Crazy in the world.
Free lunch, that's a pretty nifty scam there.

Mighty M said...

People can be so WEIRD! Jeesh!

shortmama said...

I would not have been able to contain my laughter!

sammy said...

is this real?!

this in unbelievable and hilarious to me!

that was some quick and witty thinking by you though!
bravo!

OliveStreetStudio said...

I wish I could get stuff like this at work...

blueviolet said...

If you don't play along, it'll make you crazy for real. Keepin' it light. Ya gotta.

merrilymarylee said...

Gee, wonder why the FBI raided you. Are you stealing recipes?

She didn't give you any clues, huh?

Nice work, Rambler.

PS. That is ONE CUTE KID there!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness!

Controlling My Chaos said...

Love it. You're so slick.

Shan said...

I'm with you... I work with roughly a bazillion HS students with developmental delays. We have a few who would also get along well with Crazy FBI Lady. You do what you gotta do, and I don't see the value in constantly reminding someone that their foil headband is slipping.

And on the I-have-GOT-to-get-my-eyes-checked side of life, I thought the first commenter's name was Sharty... which I found to be quite a brave statement of self-awareness. But now I'm going to see if I can find my way to the bedroom, Mr. Magoo style.

Brittany said...

Wow.
They have a pill for that.

You handled yourself very well, Rambler. I think I might have laughed or gotten spooked and ran! :)

jineen said...

omg! i am laughing so hard at this. you are so right, no harm, no foul! i have patients that i often have to try and help re-orient them, but sometimes they are just too far gone, so playing along for the sake of keeping them calm is always a fun experience.....

Widge said...

actually laughing out loud! that is brilliant. you are totally my type of gal ;)

I worked at McDonald when I was a kid and we had all types of super crazies there...omgoodness where do I start!

Melissa B. said...

WOW. Guess you have to be pretty tolerant in your line of work. But at least you live in Hawaii, and for that I'm INSANELY jealous. SITS sent me by, and I'm glad they did!

The Buck Stops Here</a

The Blonde Duck said...

Dude, I'd have the real cops come take care of her!

Nancy Campbell said...

Oh, so very, very quick on your feet. I would think about your response after the fact, on the way home from work. But not when I wanted to, in the moment.

I read your other hilarious entries, and I think you're my new BFF because I'm ashamed to admit how much I love the "Party in the USA" song. I'm 34 years old and it's my ring tone. My husband is so embarrassed.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I owe Unknown Mami all sorts of love today. :)

ClaireMontgomeryMD said...

welcome to my world. i love this story!

Nicole said...

Lol how funny! I work @ a doctors office and I do the SAME thing..SMile & Nod and throw in a WOW! and NO WAY!! and some kind of validating comment! ahaha

Nicole said...

Oh yeah

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

Nicole said...

Oh yeah

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

Maricris Zen Mama said...

Yikes! He is as crazy as one from Loony bin. I hope she doesn't come back.

Shawn said...

Sooooo funny! I have played crazy with many a crazy person----no problem....

Unknown Mami said...

No point in arguing with her sense of reality, she would just be forced to defend it.

The Chrysanthemum said...

Haha...you crack me up!!!! Love your blogs!!!

Design it Chic said...

boy this was hilarious.. i bet it was double being there:)

oh if you're in for crazy ramblings.. stop by.. today was a full of Hollywood effects one:):)

* Stopping by via SITS

Cairo Typ0 said...

I'm so glad i stopped by from SITS. This was too funny!! Being crazy with the crazies is always fun! :p

Michele said...

Well, you definitely know how to keep your head about you around the crazies! I'm glad she wasn't any trouble. (I am curious as to why she's coming up with this particular story...but she's crazy so there's probably no one reason...it's just pretty funny.)

Miss Dot said...

Omigosh I love that you played along. See, I probably would have totally missed that opportunity and instead just kind of shooed her out the door. Well played.

Mammatalk said...

Memo...yeah, that's it!

Housewife Savant said...

Is there an opening?
You need someone on staff to deal with that caliber of crazy.
I'm an over-educated underachiever with sparkling personality and acid wit.
My skin gets all leathery when I'm tan, and I love the ocean.
My Turn Ons are Tiger Balm and heated mattress pads. Turn OFFs include bugs and feet.
Do I get the job?

prashant said...

Fantastic. I love the way you ended the conversation.

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Anonymous said...

nice post. thanks.