D'oh.

I'm horrible sometimes.

I remember faces like nobodies business.

But ask me their name...and my eyes glaze over. I smile and and have a standing rule with friends and husband that if I do NOT introduce someone it means I forgot their name.

Usually my BFF gets it and runs interference and does the whole..."She's so rude, I'm BFF, you are...".

I pray they answer faster than me having to do that "Oh...BFF this is......(draw blank)....(Oh crap...awkward pause)....haha, no silly I totally remember your name....(holy farking crap)

Wavy fingers to bring you to Lil Ramblers preschool.

There are way too many kids. With a lot of names to try to place. By the time a name is said the face has left because the big people are totally boring.

The first week, I called one of her friends by anothers name. NEVER corrected me.

A month later, the teacher corrected me. (embarrassing)

I later called the right little girl the right little name. (Right?)

Oh no. That's not how I apparently roll.

Morning ritual is to wash hands before they go into class. Me and Lil Rambler pair up with her little friend and her mommy and I say with utter confidence and energy

"Good Morning Lil Wrong Name!!"

Mother of Wrong Name girl says..."Oh...haha, um her name is (totally something you've never said since Lil Rambler started school but has seen since day one)"

HELLLOOOOOO Rambler. For the love. This mother has said Lil Ramblers name since Day two. I'm on like Day 150 and I suck.

That's right. D'OH.

Anyone else?

I know...where the hell have I been?

Or did you even notice? (smirk)

One thing leads to another and before you know it, I get a text from my BFF that said..."OMG, you haven't blogged for a month...you must be really busy"

Mmmmm....yeah. Alright, I've been really busy? (scratching head...deciding on this for my answer).

It really started with my father in law visiting and practically took my laptop as if it was his Hawaiian mistress.

If we all were at home, he and my laptop were inseparable. Plus, I was the entertainer/arranger of things to do/the buffer for all to get along....so trying to step away in to private mode was out of the question. And by the time my father in law was wiped out by my daughter in law-ee ways, I could barely wipe my own butt.

Flash forward a month later...

And...I have to tell you...having this blog has paid off in more ways than I could have ever thought. I really made some 'friends' that get another side of me. Have given advice, pumped me up, told me my writing skills are actually worth coming back for...you get it.

Well, fate stepped in one day when I had to choose between getting my contact lenses or eyeglasses. Well, my old self said...duh, get the contacts, maybe you can upgrade your grandma glasses later on in the year.

Later that same day, someone actually emailed ME, The Rambler, to review THEM (GlassesUSA.com). You say what? Me? No friggin way.

So...I said what the hell...I'll get some prescription eyeglasses and see what happens. I poked around the site which yes, was user friendly and since it had been a while, was surprised to see the prices were extremely more affordable than my own doctors office. (shhhh...I heart him so...our little secret). Sigh...but the true test is when I get them in my hands and onto my face.

I gotta tell you...I didn't expect what happened. I've had them for almost 2 months and barely take them off. The eyeglass frames I chose apparently really 'complimented' my face. Because I looked 'smarter', 'intelligent-er', 'sassy sexy school teacherish' , 'beautifulrific' from strangers, female friends and my younger male staff (eh, my 34 year old self felt a little cougarish with my 21 something year old making comments...wait what makes you a cougar? How old do I have to be?). I believe I even inspired a girl to buy fake glasses to see if it made her more tips at her tables. (It does, surprisingly)

So go over there...if you need glasses but don't want to break the bank. Glassesusa.com. I might have a 5% coupon code for you if you like...(Mommy5).

Okay so to recap my return after a long long time away...cause you all know 1 day equals 1 week. So 29 days is almost a half a year right?...(get back on point Rambler)...you learned that my father in law took my laptop mistress hostage and I look farking sexy in my new eyes. (Smirk, but sexy...)