Friday, September 02, 2005

No matter what you do?

Have you ever had one of those days (weeks, months or years) where you've done all you can, taken care of things better than you normally do but others around you undermine you by saying something HAS to be wrong? You must have missed something? You can't be done, right, correct, or understood!

I wonder who I do this very thing I am complaining about to. Probably my baby sister, and I gotta think why do I do it? (Just so I can understand the other people around me that put this "gotta be doing something wrong" attitude)

I think I do it because e are 10 years apart and I have always done things she needed taken care of (if not my mom or other sister). If my mom was unable to get her after work, I grudgingly took her. If I my mom needed a babysitter (which was all the time since she worked 50 jobs to make ends meet and provide us with a home) my sister and I took care of it. If she needed a ride to friends place I (grudgingly) took her. If she needed help with her homework (when she actually told us she had it) I tried to help her and stopped when it was further than I went in school. I developed that "I always take care of you and give you the answers" complex.

She's now 20 and moving to Las Vegas (major sobbing in the background) and I as I try to put upon my big sister wisdom, it dawned on me to step down and talk to her realizing everything she does is going to be OK. I don't need to have my hands in everything she wants to do. I love her and it's time to move into a "forever" friendship role (of course maintaining big sister position when needed)

There it is, my ephiany of why others do the same to me...So I guess maybe when I grow up, others will realize that same thing and start giving me a break.

Hey wait, but I thought I was grown up! But I guess maybe I still have a little more to go.

So littlest little sister ( i have two), I'm sorry but know it's cause I love you and I couldn't help it!

Rambling ON....

1 ramblings of your own:

RT said...

Ah the things you do for younger siblings. How are things over there? How is Sammy doing in her new town? See you guys reallll soon!!!