Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Dear letters....Back at Me.

So, if you didn't read Dear Letters....you must read them first so this post makes sense to you!


*******************

Dear Overworked & Underpaid.

Sorry you feel that way.

Your payment is due....FORRREEEVERRRR. (imagine that in super slow motion)

Sincerely,

Your Bills

*****************
Dear Woman who knows the vet techs will freak out when they see me coming with you,

We here at VET's R' Us regret to inform you we have dropped you as your choice of dog care provider. Your dog has gone through every doctor, vet tech, and janitor and we have lost all sense of sanity with you 17 pounds of crazy. We wish you and your dog AND your future Vet the very best.

Do NOT try to contact us. We will not answer.

Turn the lights off she's outside,

Your former VET and company

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Dear Anxiety Driven mother who dares you to touch my car or my kid and I will rip you and your hunk of junk apart with my bare hands,

My bad.

Scared,

White flag waving former tailer of cars in slow lane A-hole.

*******************

Dear Wife,

SNORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Love,

Husband on work/vacation in Seattle

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Dear Tired & Overweight,

I think if you run in place for one hour while eating half of me, it will balance out.

Hope that helps,

Powdered Doughnut

******************

Dear Mother,

No Momma, you Rock. Especially when you play that game where you pretend to be a zombie when cleaning the house, playing horsey, and walking the dog. Your so funny mommy.

I heart YOU Momma,

The Kid

***********
Thanks to all of you for reading. And I absolutely loved some of your comments!! Well all of them really, just some of you made me laugh out really loud. Tooj, in particular.

And again, there be some changes going on round here! :) Soon, bloggy friends, soon.

15 ramblings of your own:

Cammie said...

LOL!

Muppet Soul said...

Is it weird that now I want a letter from a powdered doughnut?

Lady with a View said...

Okay..here is how I would have responded :)

Dear overworked & underpaid:

Suck it up buttercup. You play you pay..sometimes you pay even if you don't play.

sincerely - Mr. Bill (ooohh..noooo...Mr. Bill)

Dear Woman with Crazy Dog:
Hate to break it to you but we drug your loved one before you are out of the parking lot. He's really no bother at all to us - we just are sympathy sl*ts and enjoy playing on your emotions.
Your loving vet tech

Dear Anxious Driver:
I was in the fast lane but some lame person jammed it up - so this lane was moving faster - until i ran into YOU. I won't toucha your car or your kid - but could you please find the gas pedal? It's on your right...no...your other right.
Sincerely - One Messed Up Husband on his way home from a vacation/business trip

Dear Best Wife on the Planet,

I would be home by now, but there is some crazy lady blocking my path on the highway. She's doing 20 mph...

Love,

Hubby

Dear Tired & Overweight,

It sounds as though you subscribe to the ideologies "Life is too short for oatmeal" - thus justifying your powered donut - after all none of us will get out alive.

Just so you know - you have to walk one football length (both ways) to burn 1 M&M. Just saying.

Enjoy - PD

~PEACE OUT~ LWV

Martha said...

Dear Rambler,

Thank you for the smiles!
Sending Bloggy <3

Your Reader, Martha

The Bush Family said...

To My Dear Friend in HI, I heart you again! Laughed so hard I almost peed! :)

Katy said...

Those are fuuunnnny! Thank you for sharing those. I want to write a letter to my kids and dogs, I'm thinking everyone NEEDS to go ahead and go to bed so I can breathe and think. It has been one of those kind of days. Ugh!

P.S. Liking the new look here.

Dani Grigg said...

Dear April,
While you were writing this, did you laugh so hard that you snotted everywhere?
I liked it. You're funny.
Signed,
Dani

Funny in my mind said...

Even funnier the day after. Now I want a powdered doughnut. You rock!

Melissa said...

OMG. You are tooo freakin' funny!!!

What kind of dog do you have?

Eudea-Mamia said...

Are going to unlock the door when Husband makes it home. Because, seriously, that's lock-changing behavior.

The nerve!

So good.

Heather said...

LOL I love these!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

OMG to funny, love these I agree pushing on our bladder control :).

MammaDucky said...

Eeeek! The illustration of the fam looks awesome! Or "hot" if you're Paris Hilton.

jineen said...

you are hilarious! it seems this may be good therapy! i might have to try it!
(note to self-do not drink anything when reading these posts, it may come out your nose while you are cracking up)!

RT said...

I heart you.