Boy do I have ALOT to say!
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Setting scene...
Hubby has his own coffee in the fridge with it's own scoop. (A spare cooking measuring scoop 1/4 cup size)
We use an OLD 1 cup size for Woof Woof's dog food.
My kid couldn't locate Woof Woof's scoop (because it's on TOP of the fridge) so instead went into the icebox and grabbed her fathers coffee scoop (that only HE drinks) and used it to scoop Woof Woof Barkers food.
And so I thought....
Mmmmmm, are we getting along today? Well, yes. Check.
He cleaned up last night. Check.
He put our daughter to bed at a reasonable time (not up when I walk in the door REALLY late). Check again.
Man, he's sooooooo lucky.
I washed the scoop and put it back. (And yes I used soap!)
I really thought about it...I giggled about it. With a maniacal Evil giggle. Because I wonder if she did that one before?
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While running not so gracefully for the elevator the other day, this man just STARES at me from inside.
"I'm coming...I'm coming"
And lets the door close.
Bastard.
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A nasty unfamiliar looking bug took a nose dive down my shirt the other day. While I freaked out it suffocated between my breastages and is now in bug heaven. Or wherever they go after Kamikazi'ing.
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A kid came by my restaurant and asked my employees if they sold weed.
Er, dude this is a restaurant, not a supply store says my fab hostess.
He hung around seeing if anyone had that "I sell it, ask me look" and finally left. He wasn't really ON my property so I couldn't really tell him to scat.
An hour later a new host for the night shift mentioned she needed an application for someone. I went down to hand it to the applicant.
NO WAY.
Yup. HIM. Maybe he got so high he 'forgot' he had stopped here earlier for other reasons??
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Pro Bowl was in town last week. I'm sure if someone important in the NFL walked in I wouldn't even have the slightest knowledge.
I mean, isn't Joe Montana still the QB for the 49'ers?
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As I mentioned before in a previous post....I worked a marathon shift. Well my daughter got sick. Let's just say that my husband kind of 'freaks' out in the "CHILD SICK" department.
How many times can a person go to the store for Kids medicine in one hour?
I stop at the store for medicine. I leave said medicine in shopping cart. Never made it out of the cart to even be rung up. It like slid in the far corner of the cart. And my tired butt didn't realize I hadn't put it on the conveyor belt. I go home. I take things out of package.
Sh*t. Check receipt.
Double Sh*t. No medicine on receipt.
Husband: "I'll go...what kind, what flavor, what aisle..."
Said husband comes home. I thank him profusely. I open said medicine. I open plastic and wonder why it's sticky.
Triple Sh*t.
It's completely cracked.
Husband: "Just pour it into another container."
ME: "Are you mad?" as in crazy, el loco, mucho stupido (?)
Husband: "I already went once"
Me, at the store AGAIN. But in my Pajama dress that have been shoved in my workout (what workout..HA) pants and a big fleece jacket to cover the lack of support that would have been provided with a bra.
Some baggers steer clear of me.
I put broken item of medicine on counter and say "PLEASE...PLEASE...I JUST WANT A BOTTLE of KID'S BUBBLE GUM TYLENOL. PLEASE.....Yes, I want to open it before I leave. No, I don't need your professional medical opinion. I want to take this, give some to my kid so she can breathe through her nose and go to sleep. And then I AM GOING TO SLEEP."
End dramatic story here.
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UPDATE::::I am so lame. I totally meant to post that you can find other great 'randoms' at Mrs4444's place Half-Past kissin Time. If you don't want to participate just stop by her place anyway...cause she's awesome! :)
No, wait, like Paula, AI, said...it's not great...it's fantastic! But insert 'she' in the place of 'it'.
13 ramblings of your own:
"Er, dude this is a restaurant, not a supply store says my fab hostess."
That's freakin hilarious! She deserves a raise.
Was that all in one week? That's too funny. That bug in the bra thing would have freaked me out. It gave me the willies so bad I almost couldn't finish reading your post.
Oh honey...
I'm so sorry -
and yet so proud of you for resisting the lure of the coffee/dog food scoop combo. You are a GOOD person!
(did you watch Survivor?)
Thanks for reminding me I need to hit up the drugstore on my lunch.
I laughed OUT LOUD at the pot-head coming to apply for a job. We had a guy walk in and ask for a job yesterday. He had worked for us prior and when we asked where he'd been for he last two years he, rather gleefully replied, "prison, on drug charges." Nice. Next.
I love the way you wrote your Friday post! Cute, funny yet so easy to relate to!
Hugs,
Brandy @ Writings of a WAHM
Hahaha - I'm not sure which was funnier -- suffocating a bug with your boobs or a kid having the audacity to ask if your hostess sells weed (esp. considering where you work).
The medicine saga sounds like something that would happen to me. :) I enjoyed your fragments!
How funny that a bug flew down your shirt. Was it trying to cop a feel?
LOL We played "how many times" with the pharmacy one night. It ended up being FOUR. I won't even give you the details about missing inhalers, wrong inhaler, what about the pills?....and on and on.
Happy Friday! That is so funny about the weed! Yikes, maybe he should cut back!
Loved this post..made me laugh!
The weed dude! Seriously! You have to love the 'dopers' of the world!
Your Fragments were very entertaining tonight. Is that okay?! heehee
The weed story is hysterical. I just saw a house was broken into here in Hawaii and one of the items on the home owners list of stolen items was a jar of weed. Yes officer, "They stole our TV, our wallet and Oh yes, that jar of weed. If you catch them how soon will you return the weed?"
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