Alrighty.....clicky here for the origin of how Think About It...
Last weeks post lead me and my sister in HEAVY email that needed to happen. Thanks to those that commented and shared their own answers. :)
So I'm digging back into the book and came up with this question for us this week to ponder....AND comment on (Puhlease)
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Pg. 118...Question 137...
Do you find it so hard to say "no" that you regularly do favors you do not want to do? If so, why?
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And......GO.
2 days ago
13 ramblings of your own:
I used to, but I got over it.
It was bad when I was younger. Not only could I not say no, I HAD to do what I thought the other person wanted me to do.
Take for example the Barbie gifts. My Mom, bless her heart, would be the Barbie and Ken combo sets whenever possible. Like the Ariel and Eric. She's then present them to my younger sister and me and ask which one we wanted. I desperatly wanted Ariel, but I knew my lil sister wanted Ariel, so I'd grab for Eric. Sad eh?
I seem to have lost the topic of this post huh? Oh well.
Basically this all stemmed from my need to please everyone. Like I said, I'm over that now.
Hey ... I was actually thinking about you today and that I hadn't seen you in awhile ... then you posted on my blog tonight. ESP :)
To your question: I am a recovering yes-a-holic. I used to have a horrific time saying no, but got overcommitted, over anxious, and over stressed and realized I needed to start saying no and being okay with it. It's made my life 100 times easier!
YES! I have to admit that I have managed to get a grip on it and keep a handle on things with time. But I still find myself agreeing to do things that I don't want to.
I honestly don't know why I do it. I think its a deep rooted need to feel wanted, accepted, and approved of. Surely if they are asking me..then they 'want' 'need' or 'approve' of me. Which in most instances are true..but everyone now and then you find someone that is just using me.
I can happily say that I don't take on more than I really want to anymore. I used to say yes to lots of things and found myself miserable too often. It was a bit hard to change my habit, but I worked on it and succeeded! Now I am pretty good at not signing on to help unless I really am invested in the favor.
I used to when I was volunteering for the kids at school. They would call me for everything because they knew I could do it and would do it. The problem was that I totally burned myself out. That's when I learned it's ok to say no.
I used to never be able to say "No". I don't like to disappoint people and I hate confrontations. Just recently, I have learned I have to say No sometimes just to defend myself. This is especially true at work, but it has crossed over into my personal life with my friends and family, although I still can't say no to my sister at all! She scares me sometimes, is that wrong?
Oh Hell, Yeah. It's almost impossible for me to say no (except to husband and child) we used to joke that it was a genetic abnormality, but I notice that as I am the one doing the crap for MY whole family...someone must be able to say it!
Seriously, I believe it started when I was little and was afraid if I wasn't good, people wopuld leave me - so I did whatever anyone wanted...nice, huh?
Nope. I'm good at being assertive. That said, I do enjoy helping people out; I just know my limits.
I used to be terribly bad at saying no. But the older I get and the more I see, the easier it has become. Some people have made a career out of asking for things and to those people, I can say "no
fairly easily.
No.
This is something that you get better about as you get a bit older. When you're asked to do something you don't really want to do, ALWAYS say, "I'll have to get back to you about that". That gives you time to formulate a gracious way to decline.
I'm visiting from SITS! Yes, I have had a hard time saying "no" because I'm such a people pleaser. But, I've gotten much better about it as of recent...it's very freeing!
I suffer from the disease to please - but I also feel like if I "can" help then I "should" help. I was raised by very Pentacostal parents - self-sacrifice was a key component in my upbringing. What I've learned is to help whenever I can - even if I don't wanna - but I draw the line when I am asked to help and it has negative repercussions on my family.
It honestly depends on the favor and how much of an imposition it is. I hate moving, but I'll help someone move b/c that's what friends do. But, if someone's asking me to move them in at midnight when I have to work the next day, then I'd probably not have a problem with saying no.
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