Thursday, March 05, 2009

Think About It Thursdays...#10

MammaDucky's comment to #9's Think About It question about your favorite meal and who'd it be with.....

"I would have to say that ANYTHING made by someone other than myself would be awesome. I take that back. Anything, except seafood, made b someone other than myself would be awesome.
This may sound incredibly selfish, but I'd like to eat by myself in peace and quiet. I don't want to share or get up ten billion times, just eat MY meal in quiet."

Typical Mom! (right there with you Mamma....pass the salt and I promise to shut up!)

I've thought a lot about the question for this week. And I feel some of us have been 'victim' to it.

"Have you ever loaned money to someone, only to not get it returned? And then it become a subject slightly uncomfortable to bring up when said loan repayment is well overdue? Sometimes to never get it back? Or have you been THAT person?"

This isn't from the Book of Questions, but it's one that I'm curious to see what comments it brings.

17 ramblings of your own:

Mrs. Jelly Belly said...

Oh, sure - I've loaned money to people and never got it back. And I've loaned money and KNEW I wasn't going to get it back. Mostly to my (grown) kids. And I'm okay with that.

And I never bring it up. The person I loaned it to knows that they owe it. If and when they're ready to give it back, they will. But I won't risk a friendship or other relationship over something as (relatively) unimportant as money.

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

You know Rambling Thoughts, I used to be the loaner....not the loanee. I used to "loan" a little money to a friend of mine quite often. Of course I never saw a dime of that back. It was really uncomfortable when I finally had to tell her that I just couldn't loan her anymore. She actually got mad!
Don't hear from her much these days. Whatever......that's not much of a friend anyway, right?

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Saskia said...

I'm glad you enjoyed my photos!

I have had this happen to me before, but thankfully it wasn't too much money and I was able to resentfully move on from it. I did learn my lesson though - I never ask to borrow money and I try not to lend it any longer either.

Saskia x

Christina said...

Ha.. OMG. I'm going through that whole situation right now. B.I.L. has been going to pay us back money for months. Excuses, excuses, excuses... Blah, Blah, Blah... Poor pitiful me. My last straw happened the other day when he had money to go blow partying with his friends, but still hadn't paid us back a dime.

Tooj said...

I've never had money to loan in a significant portion. That said, if I give someone money, I never intend or want it back. I give it because they need it...and because I have it to spare. I'd have to revisit this question if I ever was asked for a large portion of money. I'd probably set up a payment plan or something manageable and include that discussion before the money is handed over.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Excellent question.

Hmm....I am a bit of a freak about paying people back. Mostly because I am the girl that has been burned. In a few words, I am much more likely to let the matter go, rather than ask for money back. I figure that if someone does not want to pay me back, for whatever reason, they must need the money more than me.


Kim said...

I am in 100% agreement with Mrs. Jelly Belly. I have loaned money to my grown children and never expected it back.

I have never asked anybody for loaned money back for the exact same reason.

If I can't afford to risk never getting the money back, I won't loan it in the first place.

Lady with a View said...

My comment will be in the same spirit as those that precede me.

I dont' loan money - I just consider it a gift. Historically, I (and my husband) have been way to giving with our money to his family members. I remember one time - I was 23 years old - I had $100 in my checking account and I gave my BIL $75. We have learned to just say "no" (what week was that question?).

We say no sometimes even if we have it - because giving people money to support their habits isn't help. It's a form of codependency. Not letting people learn from their financial mistakes is also not helping them - people need to learn to make better decisions. That process isn't always easy.

That said - you should remember that my children are still in my house. I can't imagine not helping them if they need it. I'm not sure how that works.

The Blonde Duck said...

I can't answer that. My blood pressure will go up.

TuTu's Bliss said...

Hubby is a loan machine.., guys are always coming up to him, "Hey here's that 50, 20, 300 bucks." I'm like "WHAT 300 bucks?!?!".But we're military and army pay is always missing a paper, a line, a signature that keeps soliders from their money. He always get it back but we don't loan movies anymore (those never come back)

carma said...

Thanks for stopping by my site and welcoming me to SITS :-)
Sorry I can't contribute to the money loaning conversation as I have not had this situation happen - yet!

andy said...

My theory on lending money is this: if you are not prepared to lose it, do not loan it.

And I totally agree with Mama Ducky on the whole eating alone thing. I savour every minute of it. Darn tootin'.

Muppet Soul said...

Oh dear!

I never do money with friends, i don't think.. Or at least I've never been in the position to have them be late/me be late..

My close friends and I have an 'open tab' where we don't keep track about going out.. But no one ( thank G-d) has ever asked for a large sum of money, or anything.

I'm pretty sure someone would have to be, like... losing their house. When I was doing really well.

Otherwise I'll stick to giving my money to charities. Or the homeless guy at my coffee shop.

It's less messy.

Kalei said...

Do I owe you money?....if I do, I am sorry...., I love you! I will buy you some nice things in May!?....=) Really, do I owe you money?

Emily A said...

I totally forgot about this book. Dh and I used to send each other a question (e-mail) each day for the other to answer. It was a great way to get to know each other even better! Thanks for reminding me of it. We have the couples' version too. I can't wait to start it up again.

Great blog! Emily from SITS

Becky said...

I haven't really been in the position where I could give money to someone what wanted something substantial in the past. The most I've done is I'll spot someone for meals or drinks, if they don't have cash or something happened to their wallet. As for me, I'm anal retentive about paying anyone back for anything I owe, even favors. I firmly believe in the Golden Rule.

Michelle said...

Over from Little Miss Sunshine for FFFF.

I loaned a good friend money that I had been saving for my oldest to get braces...before I was married.

She never paid me back and always pretended liek I never loaned it to her. I just let them have it. I guess they needed it more than I did...a single mom working 2 jobs and paying her way through college. Go figure!