Wednesday, June 17, 2009

This is why I'm not a girlie girl!!!

So it's been a little rough since coming home from vacation to get back into the swing of things here in Ramblerland.

I tried getting back in the saddle, but I hadn't strapped the belt right (or whatever you do for the horses and the saddle).

I've started a stupid amount of posts that all lasted as long as two sentences and it's fire went out.

But while trekking through blogland tonight I found an inspiration for a post. FINALLY.

One of my faves and oldies (not age girl, meaning length of time I've been reading her) So Not Mom-a-licous posted something today that somehow mentioned eyebrows.

And I have to tell you all a story that happened...of ME.

I am a girl that wouldn't be in the fashion tent in NYC. I don't know how the frick makeup works (ask the BFF's...I make them cringe).

With that I try to go to others when attempting to beautify myself. Manicures, pedicures and lets just say waxing.

Waxing. Waxing. Waxing.
(God, it's so much taking care of ourselves. Ugh.)

So a very 8 month pregnant me and a cousin (who was more pregnant) decided to mall shop. She takes care of herself wayyyy better than I can/do/have/will.

So when she spotted this new salon at the mall and said lets do our eyebrows, I was like....

Um. M'kay.

She says. You go first. I have kid #1 acting up.

Um. M'kay.

I go into room.

It's peaceful like I'm gonna get a facial.

I tell the nice lady how I want the eyebrows.

I lie down.

We small talk about when I'm due. Sex of the baby. Blah Blah. Blah.


Some cleaning lady comes in and starts making all this noise looking for something.

She distracts nice lady WHILE waxing.

Nice lady yells at cleaning lady to hurry and leave.

Yah...awkward. My eyebrow feels 'weird'

Cleaning lady leaves.

Cleaning lady comes back.

Nice lady freaks out again.

Ramblers thinking WTF. But remains calm.

Cleaning lady leaves.

Nice lady looks back at Ramblers face and gasps.


She gasped.

The fricking nice lady ripped off almost 2/3 's of my eyebrow OFF.

She calls in makeup lady while I sit and process and think maybe it's not that bad.

Makeup lady covers up, calls me sweetie. The owner comes in and says I look beautiful. I'm rubbing my belly getting nervous.

I come out of the room. My cousin looks at me and says she doesn't need any waxing. I smile in some delusional stunned way. And we leave. I am so stunned I don't make a big deal about it. Which might explain the breathing out on the whole staff's part when we left.

I go home. I show my husband. I cry most of the night and avoid the mirror.

For 2 months, I had to have my employees at work help me put a effing fake eyebrow on with a pencil liner (remember I am clueless about makeup) and some fill in eyebrow tracer thing.

I have NOT had my eyebrows done in over 3 years now.

Wait...I do them myself...just they aren't so 'professional' looking.


I am NOT a girlie girl!!

But I will not have a UNIBROW!

30 ramblings of your own:

Mary at My New 30 said...

Hi - I'm popping over from SITS. You were on roll call ahead of me today.

Oh my lord... what a horrible experience. I think you handled it MUCH better than I would have in my younger days when I was, well, full of FIRE. I cannot believe that some so called professional would first let herself get distracted and two make such a traumatic mistake!

I love makeup. Used to love doing my eyes. But, I've been out of work for a few years now, and to be honest, I rarely use eyeshadows much less makeup anymore. My days consist of running errands - to the bank, the grocery store, Walmart, the thrift store - none of which require makeup IMHO. I'm so glad I don't live in a big city where you can't walk out to get the paper without being all "done up." That would make me crazy! The last time I put mascara on, it felt like I had bricks on my eyelashes LOL!!

Hope you're feeling better. Have a great day!

Controlling My Chaos said...

This is exactly why I'm not a girlie girl. And I have crazy eyebrows too. CRAZY.

Noah's Mommy said... had me awful...I'm sooo sorry...i would have been soooo pissed....thank goodness they do grow back eventually....

Fiauna said...

Nope. Not a girlie girl either. And this is exactly why. I'd just make a bigger mess if I decided to start fixing things now.

Anonymous said...

I tried doing my own brows. It always ended with one not looking like the other. I leave it to the professionals.

Aunt of 14 said...

I wish I could get my eyebrows done more often, but as it is, I just don't. Upkeep for myself is almost nonexistent. The most I do is maybe get my hair colored, but thats it. I don't understand manicures, pedicures, all that when you can very well do it yourselves. For free. But then again, I am terminally single, so that may explain it! ;-)

Martha said...

Wow, that is horrible!! I get my eyebrows threaded which is less painful than waxing. I am so not a girly girl, but I look like the Hulk if I don't trim up the forehead hedge.

Vivienne said...

No no no! I would have ripped those ladies some new ones, using their own hot wax and muslin strips!!!. (However, this completely illustrates why I prefer threading to waxing....)

Sticky (just a little) said...

Oh my...*snort*
That's really not funny...*snort*
I'm so sorry! But you are much braver that I am - I have never dared the eyebrow wax - but I don't have very much in the brow department.


The Caretaker said...

Yeah, that man in my picture is my husband...Mr. PTSD.

pan x 8 said...

OMGosh!!! Just barely getting into the makeup world and I don't know if I'll ever really fit in... ;p

Mighty M said...

Oh, man. I have never had my eyebrows done (although I profess to going a little crazy with the tweezer in my younger days), and this story is making me want to stay far far away!!

lagirl/Sweet Tea said...

I do my own waxing.
I practiced on Princess (LOL) till I figured it out. Now I'm GREAT at it! I just have to remind myself to do it. I figure when it looks like I have a spider on my forehead, "it's time".

Krissy said...

sorry, but that's fucked up. i would've been pissed and started crying. i hope you didn't pay for that. wait, i bet you did.

Kimberley said...

Oh gosh - I think that would definitely have scarred me for life! lol

I'm so glad they grew back!!!

P.s - I sincerely hope you got a refund!

Tooj said...

LOL Oh I'm so sorry to laugh but I love stories like this!!!!!!!! I once went and got a cut at one of those chain hair cut stops....and I ended up wearing a ball cap EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for half my sophomore year in college. I feel you.

Life, Love And Lola said...

This sounds like something that would happen to me! LMAO!

blueviolet said...

That would have kept me out of the salon for 3 years too! Wow!

Anonymous said...

I get my eyebrows done when I have the extra money, but your experience makes me think twice!

Housewife Savant said...

I wish we had a photo, for the sympathy factor not the laughs, I swear.
You're too cool to be freaked out by this.
If it'd been me; there would have been crying (not so effective) and stabbing (effective unless overdone.)

Mrs.Zeus said...

OMG! Im glad they grew back, I'll be crying for months!!!

Anonymous said...

Ok. That was one of the greatest eyebrow waxing stories ever!!! I feel so bad for laughing at it. I mean in the moment (and apparently months after that) it may not have been so funny. But damn, I can laugh because it wasn't me! heeheee

Christina said...

I have never had a professional wax... and this is why. I am so terrified of others stupidity and my bad luck.

jineen said...

i remember having my eyebrows waxed for the first time, i was 16, and so thankful for getting those caterpillars off my face:) but wheni got home i realized aybe she went a little too far, and my father called me a horned owl.

i finally had them done again 16, yes 16 years later and was VERY happy with the results! now i do them myself and go to the lady every few months just to keep that nice shape:)

Anonymous said...

And that is exactly why I am afraid of getting my eyebows waxed.

Thank God they grow back.

(And welcome home.)

Erin said...

Ooh, now I know why I have never gotten my eyebrows waxed! Too scary!

Becky said...

Glad to hear that you're feeling better :) I think you just went to a bad person. I still get mine waxed b/c they're cleaner than if I do them myself but sometimes people screw up. I went to my hair salon for brows and the girl did them crooked and it's taken months for that piece to grow back in (though most people couldn't tell until I said something). I think the key is to find someone you like and stick with them.

I have an aversion to bikini waxing b/c the last time I did it in Hawaii, the wax was too hot and the pulled up skin. Ouch!

Janna Bee said...

Same thing happened to me the first time. I look pissed all of the time afterwards. Not that I was angry all the time, I just looked that way.

Then I found someone good and she did my eyebrows fairly often (this was before kids, mind you) and now they don't even grow in! They destroyed the hair follicles! So happy am I!

Shan said...


Several years ago when my husband was still the perpetual boyfriend, he gave me a gift certificate to a nail salon. Only thing was, so did my mom and my friend. Sure, I could have spread 'em out, but no! I decided to get my eyebrows done for the first time ever.

Right before a hot date with said boyfriend, and a day or so before big event at work.

*My* nice lady took me back to the waxing closet(?!?), had me recline under those insanely bright lights, and proceded to do a pretty nice job on my brows.

Then she said, "You want me do mustache?"

Thank god I wasn't drinking milk, because it would have shot out my nose and gotten stuck!

"Uh. Yes, I guess so."

Yeah, this was about half an hour before the hot date, which I went on with pink shock lines above my eyes. My hot pink upper lip was as smooth as a baby's bottom.

With diaper rash.

That bled little pin dots of shame.

Now it's just me and that little face file they advertise on TV late at night.

RT said...

LMAO! I can totally picture this. Hilarious!