Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Interviewing can be interesting....


I've been in management for over 10 years and I have to say...

I've interviewed some really interesting characters.

Before an interview I usually like to designate someone to 'watch me'. Just in case I don't know how to politely end the interview. I don't care what they say just please come by and say it's the effing President on the phone and I have to end the interview.

Below are some of the people I get to interview at least once a month...

The Over-Talker-InterviewEE-turned-InterviewER.
(The OTITI..I know what it sounds like)

The person kind of sneaks up on you. Beware. It's innocent really, because they are dressed nice, good eye contact. They brought a pen to the interview!

(My pet peeve. To me, it's like going there without a shirt on...always be prepared. Bring a pen. You should only have to ask me for an application.)

The OTITI immediately takes over the conversation in an instant.

She/He speaks quickly and without breathing. While you stand there and attempt many inserts of your own questions, they rattle on. Oblivious to the fact the manager has not been able to ask one question except to say..."Hi, my name is Boss Rambl..."

My mind wanders a bit in between attempts. "How many pots of coffee has she had" "Will she shut up so I can ask a question" "Too bad, she looked normal"

My Designator was busy 'flirting' with a pretty gal who'd just come to his bar. (Damn him, must remember to pick more reliable Designator)


The Awkward-Quiet-My-Mother-Told-Me-to-Get-A-Job

This is a kid that usually sits on their behind at home. Just graduated from high school, maybe. Completely unmotivated. Their mother just wants them to get OUT OF THE HOUSE. (I don't blame her).

This makes for a most awkward interview because of their one word answers to all your questions.

Or blank looks because they can't believe they had to dress up with a nice shirt and tie and sit at a table with an "old" lady and answer questions.

For me, this is an easy interview to end quickly.

Don't call me, I'll call you kind of thing.


The-Don't-Look-Me-In-The-Eyes-Person

I grew up learning to shake hands firmly and look people in the eyes. Shifty eyes can be unsettling and uncomfortable.

This person from the moment you shake hands looks over, around and below you. I find myself secretly brushing past my mouth, nose and eyes blindly searching for remnants of food, buggers and or crap attached to my face in an unattractive way. Or checking to see if my bra strap is showing or toilet paper is stuck on my shoe. All at the same time. Because shifty eyes makes me nervous.

I ask my questions. I get answers but with very little to no eye contact. Again, I wonder if the spinach I ate days ago is somehow lodged still between my two front teeth. Very distracting for a person like me doing an interview.

And usually after the interview...I go to a mirror to check myself out.

Gotta catch another thing...Person


"Dude...you the manager?"

"Yes?" (Oh God)

"So, do you have to work hard here?"

"Um..." (Oh Lord. Really?)

"Cause I need money...but I don't enjoy working. Dude."

"Erm...I'm not hiring right now" (As I hide the Now Hiring sign)


***********

So words of advice from Boss Rambler here.

Bring a pen, shake hands firmly but not WWF-ly, make good eye contact, and let the interview be a two way conversation.





31 ramblings of your own:

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

Lol! Some good advice there!

the ungourmet said...

My sister has to do a lot of interviews and she always has fun stories to tell too! :0)

Patty said...

That's great advice. You're too funny! I'll try to remember that as I'm trying to get a new position at my school.

hotpants™ said...

I've interviewed for years. These are great tips. People can sure bring the crazy to an interview.

lagirl/sweet tea said...

Oh Gosh, I got nervous just simply READING about interviewing. I'm the sweaty handed interviewer who would break into an immediate hot flash which is oh-so-attractive...You know you really have the upper-hand being the Interviewer. People have nightmares about "your kind" throwing out the tricky "got-cha" questions. Yikes!

K said...

Seriously...

People really interview like that?

You must have some intersting stories to tell.

Maki said...

Ha!! LOL.. I laugh so hard my new boobs hurt!

Love ya!
xoxo

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

Oh gosh, I feel ya on this one! I worked in in the HR department of my company for a year and interviewed people a few times a week. It is AMAZING what some people think they can do and say on an interview to guarantee a job. Like seriously WTF.

blueviolet said...

How about the ones that turn out to be crazy, literally?

Heather of the EO said...

This cracked me up. So true! People do the weirdest things when they're nervous too.

I think I pretty much always said at least ONE totally idiotic thing while interviewing. Good story to tell later.

I guess.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

wow! i'd love if you had a camera!! That would make good TV!

Ms Perfect said...

And they wonder why they can't get a job!

The Blonde Duck said...

I would hide! Dear lord!

Mighty M said...

I used to have to interview people, so I recognize the types very well - always hard to weed through it all and find just the "right" kind of person for the job!

Housewife Savant said...

They could be job applicants, or homeschoolers from our former church.
It could be an interview, or Bible study with fundies.

Either way; it's good when it ends.

Michele said...

I can believe what morons some people can be. Interviewing is not rocket science. Dress nice, be polite, be inquisitive, bring a pen and a resume...is that all too hard to ask? [Apparently :-)]

Kelly's Ideas said...

Funny - I think we've interviewed the same people.... last one was - I copied my resume off the internet and forgot to make the dates look believable.. 1995 is not a year a 25 year old be working .. she was busted... bye bye.

Love,
Kelly
http://www.ivebecomemymother.com

Shan said...

So true!! My mechanic was kind enough to come work a career fair for me once and he didn't talk too much about what it took to become a mechanic. He told them they needed to wear (and I quote), "Trousers of dignity and a shirt of respect." I LOVE that line! And I especially adored him for telling the guys who were clearly interested in working for him that they'd better not come to his shop dressed like they showed up to our event because the only thing he'd see them about dressed like that was the bill.

The Demigoddess said...

I also get these people but never the last one who called you "dude", dude. It's not ethical to let people who think this way run loose, looking for a job.

MelRoXx said...

agreed with Shan. love your blog!

Carolyn said...

Too funny. I've always thought it would be so fun to work in HR just to be able to have these stories. People can be so funny.

I'm one of those people who loves interviews. I've interviewed for positions I didn't even really want just because I knew it would be an interesting panel interview. I know, weird. Anyway, came over from SITS and I'm glad I did!

Fiauna said...

WWF-ly. That's a good one. Great post!

hiphophippie.com said...

Heelarious! I love it! And this is perfect timing now that I'm on the job hunt! I have my pen in hand! :)

Transparent Mama said...

These are hilarious! Poor people, they just don't know how to be normal. Isn't it funny how hard it is to find normal people? Okay, that didn't sound very nice. My eyes are getting shifty.

Alicia said...

ohhh that must be hours of entertainment!! if i ever need a job i'll be sure to remember these tips!

ELAY said...

HHAHAHAHA ROFL love eeeet

Mammatalk said...

Glad to know I am not the only bad interviewee out there. I get all sweaty and stuttery...Nightmare.

ClaireMontgomeryMD said...

i do NOT envy your job! what's worse for you, interviewing or firing?

Queenie Jeannie said...

I give great interview!!!

But Dude, I'm so not looking for a job right now!

*giggle*

Nicole said...

I am making mental notes as I hope to start interviewing for a new job myself. This makes me giggle!

Tooj said...

I love the days when WWF means World Wrestling Federation instead of World Wildlife Foundation. Aahhh, the good old days.