Monday, November 02, 2009

17856837489 reasons to Ramble....from the Rambler

Oh dear God, I just downloaded Miley Cyrus's Party in the USA...What is wrong with me?

Alright...First of all, I liked the song first for it's oh so head nodding/hip moving way. And then I looked up the song and said...For shame Rambler!

Miley Effing Cyrus. (Sorry, she's normally not my cup of tea)


Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA

MySpace Today | MySpace Video


Shoulder Shrug. Oh Well.

Moving my head like Yeah...moving my hips like Yeah....


*********
You know those stories you hear of fathers trying to fix their daughters hairs?

So...my husband thought he would 'trim' our three year olds bangs. When I say trim...he thinks...

I'd like to say he somehow fused a bit of Dumb #1 and Dumber #2 's hair cause all that came to mind while staring at Lil Rambler's bangs and listening to her father go on and on about it happened to fast and before he knew it...(*sigh*...Daddy's...this one is for the books)

God Bless them both for trying.

*************

"Perk" of being the boss lady for my restaurant.

A drunk young couple come hooting and hollering into my outside cafe demanding to be served more booze and the waitstaff cuts them off...said crazy drunk guests don't want to leave but try to convince the management staff they they are 'perfectly (hiccup) FIIIIINNNNEEE (hiccup)'

Enter boss lady Rambler. The professional that I am says the following:

"Yeah...Sorry, but were gonna have to ask you to leave."

"Um, NO...if another table buys your drinks...YOU still can't drink HERE. What part of that is hard to understand?"

"Yeah... you flipping me off in my face is not helping YOU get alcoholic beverages from ME."

"YOU don't like this place? I just told you to leave? Problem solved. Have a good night!"

"Say F**k me to my face one more time and I'm about to take my earrings off and really show you what you can cry about. You will beg and scream for your mama! "

I'm kidding...I CAN'T say that.... (sigh...in a manager's dreams)

Yes...they really said F**k me to my face about 30 times. And no, this would not be the first time this was every uttered to me by a customer.

*************
My new favorite TV addiction is this show.

Modern Family. I snort and laugh out loud in the dark sneaking it in when I come home after midnight. It is just too damn funny.



My favorite is the Big Gay Guy Cam and Phil the "cool dad".

I snorted again just watching this preview to find for you guys.

***********

The Universe's way of laughing at my expense was this....

While pushing my cart toward Target...I realized I was close to the pissed off Target worker kid having to bring a zillion of the carts back to the main area (been there dude, you got it better...seriously)

...all of a sudden he was in front of me and I somehow became locked in the middle of the Target Road while I stood there thinking I must have not eaten all my Wheaties.

wondering and lifting the cart,
trying to push it on two wheels,
trying to push it sideways,
trying to push it backwards,
trying to push it while Lil Rambler looked at me with a look of concern that only a 3 year old could give,
sweating as I felt like I chose the time to shop with half the island and endured for 45 whole seconds their looks of how a normal human being couldn't push a shopping cart.

Until...I heard this.

"Maam...(shudder...I hate that word when directed at me)...It's locked...hold on...I have to Deactivate it..."

FOR.THE.LOVE.

Really?

***********

And that folks is all she wrote...for now!

44 ramblings of your own:

Lisa said...

I, too, LOVE that Miley Cyrus song. And was totally shocked to find out it was a Miley song. How can something so good come from ... her? :)

Kathy B! said...

I have CPA because there is so much good stuff in this post!

But Miley? Yeah, I'm there with 'ya.

And the Target carts?! Bwahahaha!

Jingle said...

LOVE that song. Just say'n. If you search for it you can find a really good remix with Biggie and Miley! Yeah - not kidding. It's good stuff! LOL! HA! On the Target story!

Tamara said...

LOL I'm glad I'm not the only one that rambles on her blog! LOL Love your stories and the Target one was really funny!!
I'm following you now. :)
http://www.homespunheartscandles.blogspot.com

Tooj said...

Ma'am really is a shocker. I'm not a fan of it myself. You're a good woman for tolerating the crud the drunk couple gave you. Stay strong, stay strong.

Mighty M said...

I haven't downloaded the song yet. I am trying not to! But it is a catchy tune! Darn those pesky customers!! I hope they had horrible hangovers the next day!

Martha said...

I am so loving that Miley Cyrus song, it's scary!!!
Sorry for the haircut on your lil Rambler, I hope it grows back really fast.
Those drunks are morons, they should know better than mess w/You, EVER!! Eff Them!!!

Ben said...

You should just give in to the Miley goodness of that song. At least it's slightly more respectable than her others.

shortmama said...

Love the song too, even if it is Miley!

sammy said...

i have alot of that disney stuff on my ipod library because we got our girls mini ipods last christmas. i also have playlists for them on mine so we have something to listen to when they are in my car. (ipod hook up). BUT i actually have 'the climb' by miley cyrus and a few songs from demi lovato on my own personal playlists...dorky i know but, ah well, they actually sound decent...

now the jonas brothers...thats a different story. they sound soooo incredibly atrocious to me

sammy said...

also, keep the arbitrary/random posts coming!

i dont feel so lonely when i do it now ; )

hotpants™ said...

It's ok. I downloaded Miley's song a few weeks ago. It's just so catchy!

I've been catching up on Modern Family online. It's hilarious.

Proud to be Me-a wife, a mom, a student said...

Ummm...Miley...ok...love you anyway! :) And kudos for not beating the everloving crap out of the drunk meanies! I for one can not be around belligerents without not saying something..lol... And the universe laughs at my expense as well..almost everyday!

blueviolet said...

Miley is infecting us all like the flu. It's wrong, I tell you, wrong!

hiphophippie.com said...

Drunk, beligerant customers are THE WORST!!! I would like to bitch slap that couple in your honor. And I love Modern Family too! It's freaking hilar! Omg, Phil and Cam are classic! So, so funny!

Together We Save said...

Why oh why did you have to mention Miley... I mean my girls like her, thats fine. But now her song is playing over and over in my head! LOL

Fiauna said...

The cart was locked? Our Target carts don't do that (thank goodness).

Stitch 'N Love said...

Thanks for the laughs this morning! I, too, love Miley song. My teenage daughter came out of her room when she heard it and the reference to HSM in the show promo!

Have a happy SITS day!!!

Christie

Debbie said...

That song is very catchy! I've found myself singing along in the car more than once. But don't tell:)

Geezees Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

Oh no, not Miley....oh well we all have our songs!

Kalei said...

Me and the kids had a mini living room dance off with this song.

more than once.

Those drunken crazees make me laugh. especially the next day when they briefly remember the ordeal....their version.

I did not see modern fam yet, but chuckled with you at the preview.
"phil, not feel" hahaha

I had the same problem with the cart, but was going a little faster and almost did a cart flip with violet and kai in the cart. I wanted to murder the cart protection police.

Unknown Mami said...

Aww Maam, I can't believe you are a Miley Cyrus fan.

K said...

I love Modern Family too. It cracks me up.

And I had a cart suddenly lock up on me leaving the grocery store the other day - who knew that was even an option?

the ungourmet said...

Thanks to my 13 year old daughter I now know all of the words to that Miley song! ARGH!

Shan said...

The best thing about Miley Cyrus to me is the bits Joel McHale does about her (including one about this video) on The Soup. Love it! But now I'm going to have this song stuck in my brain, so thanks.

...And there go the hips.

Yeah.

Elizabeth said...

I'm right there with you on "Modern Family" - Cam is totally my favorite. Totally racks me up. And it sure does induce snorting at my house, too. Stopping by from SITS to say hello! :)

SexGrinch said...

I hung my head in shame when I realized it was Miley Cyrus who sings "that-song-that-I-think-I-love"...

It's a worthy tune.

Saskia said...

Oh gosh... you make me laugh so much Rambler! (And I think I forgot to mention in my little card to you that I found it VERY strange to call you by your real name!!)

1. I have a very unfounded and irrational dislike of Miley. Mr B loves to annoy me by pretending he loves her. It drives me loopy.

2. Shopping trolleys are the devil. That's all I will say on the matter and one BIG reason why we do ALL our shopping online (:

xx

Funny in my mind said...

Even as the owner of a restaurant, I cannot tell someone off as well as I would like to.
Never been cursed at with the F word yet.
Give me time. I can piss off the best of them!

Krissy said...

...and the jay-z song was on...and the jay-z song was on!!!

i've watched several of the modern family shows and it just cracks me up. the most recent on that i saw was when they dressed lilly up with the afro wig. i couldn't stop laughing for the whole half hour. she was just sooooo cute. i think i'll do that to kelcie.

Melissa B. said...

You know, I snort when I laugh, too! Saw you at SITS this morning...

Punt. Pass...Or Throw

Tina said...

Found your blog through Janana Bee...

Love that song. Miley not so much. That's totally ME with the haircuts. Keep the scissors away from me please. Customers suck. Period. Love that show! Whoops about the cart...

That One Mom said...

I'm so glad I'm not the restaurnat bossy pants anymore! Last night a girl with an invalid ID tried to be served. I wouldn't serve her. SOOOO, she sent a friend to buy her a drink. I sold the friend the drink, caught the IDless one trying to drink it and kicked her out... And I'm the biatch....

The Blonde Duck said...

I can't believe the way she dances in that video. Whew! So racy!

Confessions Of A Working Mom said...

Great blog! I love your ramblings... particularly your "theoretical" conversation with those customers. Wouldn't we *all* love to speak our mind like that?

~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com

Queenie Jeannie said...

What??? They have locks on the carts?? REALLY???

Hugs....because you sound like you need some!!!

Kristina with a K said...

Three things:

1. I wish you would have totally said every single one of those things to the drunk couple. People always amaze me. And they kiss thier mother with that mouth? Please!

2. Modern Family..best show ever!

3. I am approaching 30 and as you can imagine, I'm getting a little sensitive. I was called "ma'am" the other day. I mean really? Am I a ma'am now? *cries*

Ron said...

So....I'm in need of a trim....is your hubby available? LOL I like his style!

I've been to many war zones, but if I would ever have to confront drunks like you, I'd be scared out of my pants! Good on you! I would never be able to stand up to them...I'm scared of drunks :(

Hope you're well!!!
Love,
Ronnnnnnnnnnnn

Karen said...

I don't know how, but I have managed to go this long without hearing that Miley Cyrus song.

Sorry about the crazy drunk people. The folks I deal with at my job are sometimes just as belligerent, but without the influence of alcohol!

Janna Bee said...

Love your ramblings, and seriously that Party in the USA song gets into my head and never leaves- for reals.

Yaya said...

Oh I hate being called Maam too.

Brittany said...

Ugh.
Miley's irritating voice gets on my last nerve! That song does have a great beat, but then, she opens her mouth.

If you don't like being called ma'am, don't visit Texas! You will get spanked if you don't say ma'am! :)

RT said...

For. The. Love. Lol! Miss you guys!!!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.