Dear Mr. Car Thief,

To the Car Thief Club of America, (hawaii local chapter preferably)

I just wanted to write your wonderful organization to thank you for all the great work your club performs. I realize you all work so hard, and no one takes the time to appreciate all that you do.

If it wasn't for someone in your Hawaii Car Thief Club actually taking my 8 month pregnant cousin's car from her home, she wouldn't have gone through all the stress that is needed at someone in her stage. I'm so sorry that you guys couldn't have kept the car longer, but the cops are so pesky with things like that. Oh yeah and don't worry about the hundreds of cigarette butts you left in her car, or dirty shoe marks all over the place. It helped her gain insightful knowledge that cars are meant for careless joyriding and massive chain smoking which results in her car having a dual purpose of also being an ashtray. And we thought you could only use the small little ashtray provided under the stereo. How could I forget, it wasn't even an inconvience for her family to help shuttle her to and from work. No one minded that they had to get up earlier or to go without a car for the day. In fact, I am sure it made them so much closer as a family.

Your generousity did not stop there...No it didn't.

My baby sister who works full time, AND goes to college full time got the amazing gift of you guys TWICE. She was bummed you didnt' actually take her car though, but she' not complaining. She wants to thank you because she really didnt' want to take her final that morning. She was hoping she could prolong her school career this semester even if only for a couple more days.

It was like Christmas when she opened her door to discover that things were not as she had left them the night before! You kindly helped her dispose of her car registration, car safety check, CD's, CAR STEREO (who needs those anyway, you should be focusing on driving anyway!), and her paddle she uses for her outrigger (canoe) club. If it wasn't for you, she wouldn't have gotten to experience the joys of standing in line at the DMV to replace her car registration.

Well, my gratitude could go on til no end, but the letter has to end somewhere!

Sincerely,

A most humble Rambler

P.S. If I ever get the pleasure of meeting the fine people responsible for all these acts, I will stick my foot so far up their ass, you'll see it coming out of their mouth! Have a wonderful day! :o)