Kids...I don't know

The other day at work, (remember I work in a restaurant), we had a party of 37 hyped up kids (ages 11-12) and 7 haggard looking adults (chaperones if you will) that came in for a pre-set menu dinner. What I mean by that is instead of 40 choices on the menu they had only 4 to pick from. No problem, I thought, their kids, it will be fast, quick and painless. For goodness sakes, we've had 200 people come in at a time with this type of menu and it went as I described above.

Well, lets just say that fast, quick and painless was not any part of what took place. It started easy enough. Pepsi or Sierra Mist were the beverage choices. That took 5 minutes. Whew, just need to take the food order and then were home free.

I seem to have forgotten how 11 year old kids order food. It went something like this...

Server: "Pizza, Ham and Cheese sandwich, Spaghetti or Kid Tenders?" (is the only question asked to the kids. Listed below were the some of the non-typical answers or questions)

Kid #1: "I don't want any of that! Do you have hot dogs?"

Kid #2: "I don't like meatballs or red sauce, can I just have noodles?"

Kid #3: "Even though I'm allergic to peanuts and you told me only to get pizza or spaghetti, I want the French fries!"

Me: "Remember sweetie, you can only have the pizza or spaghetti. So which one?"

Kid #3: "I can eat French fries!"

Me: thinking only..."No way in hell are you going to have an allergic reaction because once you had French fries. Not in this restaurant! "Sorry sweetie, (gritting teeth), pizza or spaghetti!"

Kid:3: "fine, I'm not hungry!" and gave me a look that told me I was starving her to death.

Kid 4: "Why can't she have French fries???? I'm not going to eat either! Your a mean lady!"

At this point I ask in my head where in the hell is the chaperone. But than I realize maybe their at the bar taking some shots of tequila so they can deal with this for the remainder of their trip which by the way lasted 2 weeks without parents. Maybe I might join them if I can't get the rest of the kids to cooperate and order their damn food.

Of course, you think it ends here. We take the food out and kids started taking other kids food cause it looked better, than stared point blank at you and said they ordered what they stole. Trying to negotiate and bargain with these kids was insanely hilarious cause I don't remember being that smart. I always listened to my elders (I think?). After 30 minutes all the food was served and me and the two servers made it out with just minor trauma to the head. I felt for the chaperones because although my time with them was ending, theirs was not.

I know this is what kids are supposed to do, or what their supposed to be like...Whatever. All I know is that I am only going to have 2-3 kids max!

To my cousin who is a teacher for kindergarteners...God bless you! I couldn't do it! I hope the school system provides you with tranquilizers (for the kids) and valium (for you)!

To all a good night!

Da Rambla...