fashion victim

Mmmm. How to start this one? Well I could start with me :)

I'm not the most fashion lame-o person around BUT I'm not the most fashion forward person either. I'm sorta stuck somewhere in the middle I guess. Listed below are my three excuses for not being a project runway star!

1. my size
Due to my somewhat lovely child bump left by my 2 year old, I don't fit pants the way I would like AND my boobs that used to be of large size anyway before I got pregnant became mammoth once I hit my last trimester and those breastfeeding months. To quote my husband, "dear God, they're massive!" That said, I can't wear certain tops because my boobs make the it look either too small or too small or too small.

Mammoth boobs + skinny tee/tops with buttons/halters=disaster.... you get the picture.

2. Money
If I had money, I'd be able to purchase the right items that didn't make me look the size of a condo apt. With all my money going to bills, rent, and my baby what's left over is very little and I have to stretch the coins that are left. That's leaves me with not the most quality of merchandise. Hey, I make it work. Sometimes I'm happy with it and sometimes it's worn once and I realize that's why it was as much as it was. I don't shop much so most of my clothes is so very 2 seasons ago and I'm frightened one day that a reality show camera will jump out and tell me my friends and family "JUST want to HELP, your on OMG, you wear some badddd clothes" SHOW. I'd die.

3. Time
So here's the lame part. When I do have some money to spend, I can't find the time with my demanding job and my sweet child that is not quite there yet to go shopping. If we shop together the 2 year old and I do what's called Speed Shopping. I need to have a list. We do not deviate from the list or my special package from above will stop cooperating with me. I envy those moms that have the sweet obedient child in their stroller content with vegging out. Their sipping their Starbucks coffee, talking on the cell, browsing slowly through the racks of clothes. While me on the other hand has a child that has me frantically searching for her through the racks of clothes and I hear the store clerk paging over the PA system for the mother of a lost child (a very displeased, gonna call the Child Endangerment Agency voice) to please come to the counter as the child is causing disarray. (((sigh))) not really that bad, but it's not easy to shop when it's not a 2year old's favorite thing to do.

Anyway, this is why I am content to sit in my Old Navy clothes watching shows like Top Model and Project Runway wishing I was fierce but knowing if Heidi Klum was sitting next to me she'd tell me "Selena, you are out! Please leave the runway!" kiss, kiss! ((sigh again...))

~Skinny wannabe wearing Rambler!