Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Random Wednesday

Disgusting story as promised...

The other day a man sat in the bar to dine.

While his bartender went behind him to check on another table, the man didn't realize the bartender could still keep an eye on him to make sure all was OK.

Well, the man in (his 30's) dug deep in his nose, found a green disgusting body fluid solidified (aka, booger).....

.....(wait for it)

.....(wait for it)

And

ATE IT....(gag, gag and gag.)

Ugh, what, are you like 10 dude?



acted out by BFF after I told them the story at Girls Night.

By the way, the man DID have a plate of food in front of him...he ate that too, wasn't salty enough I suppose! (retching gag!)

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My little one is a hoarder. I found a cabinet in the kitchen I stopped using filled with her stuff. Money, her teapot set, her new little "baby" she got for Christmas. I was a little surprised.

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My husband ate something wrong and didn't feel good and told me with a injured sigh and strange walk...

"I'm pooping (cause we are parents it's our new normal word for poop) fire out of my a$$."

Whoa honey, TMI!

What, it hurts?

Geesh, borrow some of Lil Ramblers desitin!

Yes, thank you.

I AM a genius!

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To ring in the new year I woke with the biggest growth of grossness on my face. Enough so every time I spoke with people it was the first thing they noticed. Not my nose, or my eyes or my cute earrings I was using as a distracter. Just the IT.

YOU SUCK ZIT monster!

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I met an absolutely mean lady. The kind where someone needs to smack the nasty out of her! She was young, like me (insert smirk). And just had that my poop don't stink thing going.

I'm generally a very nice person. And very level headed. But the way she spoke made you feel nail on chalkboard annoyed. (shoulders shuddering).

Even the man she was with, not sure if he was the husband, looked "lost". Like he wasn't sure how he ended up with the woman, but here he was, a day late and a life short. Or something like that! Poor sap.

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While driving to work today (having had no nap and a FULL day of cleaning, and caring for Lil Rambler and I had the next 9 hours of work to look forward to) I realized for 10 seconds I was driving in auto pilot. Have any of you done that?

I don't recall the 10 seconds. That kind of scared me a bit, cause I don't know....where the hell did I go?

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One thing I hate only about the holidays is my TV shows have gone on vacation....so glad they are coming back on.

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Lil Rambler got a Tinkertoy set for Christmas. Before she could play with it Daddy insisted on building an airplane. It was like watching two children argue. For a moment I thought I was gonna have to send them both to their rooms. Kids?!

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13 ramblings of your own:

Lady with a View said...

LOL! We still keep desitin around...it's good for heat rash and razor bump rash as well..pretty much dries up anything that oozes..(hope that doesn't kick-start your gag refex there!)

Word verification - thymato

Thy 'mato is very ripe and juicy!

(Thy tomato)

Tina said...

I drive on auto pilot all the time. I'll suddenly come to and be like holy crap where did the last 10 minutes go? I'm trying to find a way where if I zone out I at least think of something I can remember thinking.

AngieS said...

I've driven all the way to work on auto pilot.


Only I meant to go to the mall...


I blame in on child birth. I never did it before kids.

Penz said...

the other day we saw a guy in the car next to us dig deep, view the specimen and eat...talk about gross! why do people do that in public? And autopilot, all the time...sometimes i have to turn around when I realize I wasn't supposed to go where I was headed, for me that is lack of sleep...pap

Shorty said...

Yes, I have had those total zone out moments while driving. I don't know where I go either, and it is certainly spooky! If I caused an accident and the cop asked me, "Ma'am, what were you doing?" I could honestly say, "Sir, I have no earthly idea."

Megan said...

OMGosh! The booger thing is SO FRICKIN NASTY!!! (and so is the dog fart I'm smelling right now, blech!)

I've TOTALLY driven on auto pilot before. One instance, I remember I was following a truck and then when I "came to", I had no idea where the truck went. I don't remember it switching lanes and I know I didn't. Freaky!

MammaDucky said...

I absolutely love how rambly this particular entry is. Is that a word? "Rambly?" I'll call Websters in the morning and start the paperwork to get that in the ol' dictionary.
I totally autopilot EVERYWHERE. I often end up places I really didn't intend to go to.

Janah @ So Not Mom-a-licious said...

I think a little of my dinner made it's way back into my mouth after that whole booger thing.... and there it just happened again!

Jen Sue Wild said...

I almost got sick reading this. I am still gaggy thinking about it.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

I spit water everywhere when I saw my word verification letters...Are you ready for this?

"manhag"

Is that brilliant or what!

I was seriously gagging over the booger thing, especially because the Little Imp turned into a vomit volcano on the way home from Montessori today and there is NOTHING WORSE IN THE WORLD THAN WHEN SOMEONE PUKES IN THE CAR!

I had to laugh about your hubby and the Tinkertoys. Little Imp got a massive set of Legos (which we all know are good for only one thing, making mommy cry in the middle of the night when she steps on one, BAREFOOT - or when mommy has to clean up the dog barf because he ate one!) and she and daddy have been arguing over them ever since! Oiky!

Krissy said...

i am utterly and super duper shocked that you were able to hold down your barf long enough to type that story about the booger guy. kudos to you mary.

Lyndsay said...

Ah, autopilot scares me too. One day I was taking Kate to daycare and I just got on the freaking expressway. I was halfway down the ramp before I realized I was going to normal route to work and not to daycare. Took me 16 effing miles out of my way.

I'm totally using the Desitin line on DH sometime soon. Sheer genius!

the RaMbLeR said...

Hey Hawaii! I know...you are sayin where the heck is my Okie Twin? Right? Still here...I've been slackin lately! And geesh, look what I miss out on...how could I miss the booger eater? (little bit o'luck)

I'm impressed with Lil Rambler!! Good job putting things away..and even a little mulah! Go Gurl!

Nice...we both had to deal with @$$es (well, not they 'they' were being that way...just havin to take care of the situation).

NO WAY...I have a freakin ZIT under my chin....geesh, what am I 16 again? NO THANKS!

K..am I gonna have to come put the smack down on the mean lady? Cause you give me the word....

Zone, who would do that? I mean...huh, what was I sayin? Oh yea, ummmm, does your car have auto pilot cause mine SO does...just so I don't have to worry about that!! ;)

All right, sounds like Hubby's just looking for some mothering...first the fire@$$, now fighting over toys? tsk,tsk!

NOW...where's YOUR button for me to grab?...ohhh, that kinda sounded naughty, huh? oops!