Thanks to everyone for your comments on last week's question.
I want to say in response to most of the comments that....
We all at some point in our life take a step off the path we want to lead, full of success, happiness, kindness, goodness, devotion, loyalty, etc.
But then, we step back on, with a deeper knowledge full of experience of the 'other' side that strengthens our drive to move in the direction we want for ourselves on 'this' side. Whatever that may be.
**********************
On to this week's question straight from the book.
"If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly and honestly tell you what they really thought of you, would you want them to? What do you think they might say?"
That's a scary thought.
Your turn.
4 hours ago
27 ramblings of your own:
Yes, I would want my friends to be brutally honest! I consider myself to be honest 99.9% of the time, sometimes brutally so, and I like to say things as they are. I expect everyone else to communicate the same towards me. If I get my feelers hurt then I've got some stuff to work on.
I would venture to say that my friends would tell me that I'm overly critical sometimes, that I can be overly negative at times, but that I'm honest, pretty reliable and supportive of their needs, and down right fun to be around, especially when I've had a few crown & cokes. They can almost always count on me for a smile, too! Perhaps I'm way off base, but that's what I think they would say.
Let me weigh in FIRST, with an eloquent and emphatic "No."
That's all I got.
Maybe "No way."
As Pastor's Wife I got enough "I can tell you this because in the spirit of Christian sisterhood I know you'll understand and forgive, - You suck as church girl cuz you never/always/ought to/shouldn't..."
Ow, my feelings.
Ow, my faith.
For a loooooong time BOTH were offended.
I've blogged about it, ad nauseum.
You might say I blogged it out, b*tch.
Okay, now you made me use a swear. Way to go Rambler.
I LOVE these question days!
Crap I wasn't first after all.
That would be a big fat NO. I don't think I would want to hear exactly what they thought.
I want my friends to be brutally honest - but not just any stranger on the street. I think brutal honesty requires a great deal of trust and love - to both give and receive.
That said, my pathetic truth is that the only person I have this type of relationship with is my daughter (who is 15). My other friends don't have it in them to be brutally honest. She's the only one that will tell me if my outfit isn't flattering - or if I'm being overly analytical. She's also, at times, one of my biggest fans. It's hard, because I'm still the Mom and we can't be true friends yet - so these wonderful moments are interrupted by periods of typical teenage eye rolls and inferences of superior knowledge - but I can see what kind of friendship we will have and I look forward to it.
LWV
No.
Hell no.
I hold a grudge.
I might need to get back to you on that...I cant decide.
I'd only want them to be honest when I asked for it. Otherwise... lie to me, I promise I'll believe it.
Is that sad or what? I just don't think that because someone sees you a certain way it means that is who or what you really are... Like I see myself as a five foot nine inch, tan, blonde, skinny super model with the brains of a Havard grad and the humor of George Carlin.. and well MAYBE sometimes I might not quite be that.. MAYBE! What do you think? No don't tell me. Alright, tell me but LIE.
No I probably wouldn't want them to. One of my friends is incredibly honest (er, bitchy) and I have been on the receiving end of one of her truths, and it was definitely something that made me wonder what else a few of my friends think of me and it has made me a tad more self-conscious in her presence.
I'd want my friends to be honest, but to weight the timing. If I'm having a super bad day, DON'T make it worse!!!
I've had people tell me I'm a drama queen. I never saw myself as that, but if they do, then I need to pay more attention what the heck I'm doing. It is constructive criticism. Something I can grow from, not bleed from.
Probably, "Eff you, now give me a hug."
Oh I have this book but havent really had the time to look at the questions. Great idea. Hmmmm, I guess that I would only want my closest friends and family to be brutally honest and tell me what they think. Then again, I am a sensitive soul and worry, ponder, think too much so maybe not! I guess they would say that I am an eternal optimist,loyal, loving, fun but can worry too much, am a terrible driver and I can overplan
No thanks.
Ignorance is bliss.
If they are willing to be my friends, it can't be that awful and I'd rather not know the rest of it.
Nope.
Well, I guess they could.. But that depends on your definition of blunt. Blunt with as much padding as possible, sure.
I'm a big believer in blunt and honest, but I'm also probably the most self-aware and easily guilt-riddled person on the planet... I just don't think they could tell me anything I don't already know, at the moment.
As for good stuff.. Eh. Everybody needs more good stuff.
Sure - I think I know what most of my faults are, although I probably wouldn't enjoy hearing it too much now that I am thinking about it. Can I have a glass of wine first? :-)
I would want true friends to be brutally honest. True friends love you and would know what to say to help you improve, not pull you down and hurt you. I think my true friends would tell me I spend way too much time on the computer, I yell too much, and I don't appreciate how good I have it.
I already have :) It's one thing to tell someone that they're fat or have a bad haircut, but if they have a personality feature that's self-destructive and hurts relationships with everyone, then it might be something to bring up. My temper and having too high of expectations of people were some things that were pointed out to me in the past, but I took the criticism and learned from it and try to control it now.
Hmmmm - this made me think....Yes? No? Yes? No? I'm going with NOOOOOO bc I think I'd be too hurt to hear - NOT that I think I'm a bad friend or bitchy girl, but bc I think I'm a really good supportive friend and I'd take it to heart if they felt otherwise.
Yeah---maybe I would want to know---so I could ponder it and decide if I want to change....
And then, say screw it and probably do what I always do!
oo, oo, i got this one in the bag. they would tell me that i can be very judgemental, sarcastic & bitchy. helllloooo, something i already knew, but just don't want to admit to. heh...heh.
I don't think I'd want that at all, maybe a cut down version with all the good points...but I wouldn't like to put the words in their mouths...
Maybe I would like to know from them. I know that there will be some bad points but they are my friends and they won't say it if not for my good or for my betterment. The truth hurts but after all, I know myself better than how they know me so if they are, for instance, going to say that I am a snob but I know that I am friendly enough, I won't be affected. :D
Well we all know that I am freakin' perfection on two legs so I have nothing to fear except strangers gawking at my cuteness...back off people..
As for my BabyMama, she ONLY wants to be told what she wants to hear. Brutal honesty is what you share with God, everyone else gets a "colored" version. That's what makes the world a happy place.
BlogBaby
I would. And they have. LOL And they're NOT always very nice. My husband is the best at it, and I frankly find it refreshing once I stop being mad at him. My sisters are very blunt and honest and my best friend couldn't lie to me if it would save my life. She sucks at it. So all in all, I've got pretty blunt and honest people around me.
I don't have any friends, and all my acquaintances think I'm a bitch....so, No. Absolutely not.
Ignorance is bliss.
I would want my friends to be honest with me. I'm hoping I'm a good enough person that they would say mostly good things. Maybe they could say something about my teaching.
Can I pick and choose what I want them to be honest about? Let's pretend I can. I want someone to be brutally honest with me regarding my mother in law. Is it me or her? Who is the bitch? Who is in the wrong? It's her, right?!
But if I ask you if I look fat in something, tell me no and that I look HOT.
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