Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Dear Letter...from the past.

I always liked this post that I wrote back in 2005....geesh...seems so long ago. In blog years, no?

Enjoy people. I did.

Originally posted May 11, 2005

Dear Mr. Car Thief,

To the Car Thief Club of America, (Hawaii local chapter preferably)

I just wanted to write your wonderful organization to thank you for all the great work your club performs. I realize you all work so hard, and no one takes the time to appreciate all that you do.

If it wasn't for someone in your Hawaii Car Thief Club actually taking my 8 month pregnant cousin's car from her home, she wouldn't have gone through all the stress that is needed at someone in her stage. I'm so sorry that you guys couldn't have kept the car longer, but the cops are so pesky with things like that. Oh yeah and don't worry about the hundreds of cigarette butts you left in her car, or dirty shoe marks all over the place. It helped her gain insightful knowledge that cars are meant for careless joyriding and massive chain smoking which results in her car having a dual purpose of also being an ashtray. And we thought you could only use the small little ashtray provided under the stereo. How could I forget, it wasn't even an inconvenience for her family to help shuttle her to and from work. No one minded that they had to get up earlier or to go without a car for the day. In fact, I am sure it made them so much closer as a family.

Your generosity did not stop there...No it didn't.

My baby sister who works full time, AND goes to college full time got the amazing gift of you guys TWICE. She was bummed you didn't' actually take her car though, but she' not complaining. She wants to thank you because she really didn't' want to take her final that morning. She was hoping she could prolong her school career this semester even if only for a couple more days.

It was like Christmas when she opened her door to discover that things were not as she had left them the night before! You kindly helped her dispose of her car registration, car safety check, CD's, CAR STEREO (who needs those anyway, you should be focusing on driving anyway!), and her paddle she uses for her outrigger (canoe) club. If it wasn't for you, she wouldn't have gotten to experience the joys of standing in line at the DMV to replace her car registration.

Well, my gratitude could go on til no end, but the letter has to end somewhere!


A most humble Rambler

P.S. If I ever get the pleasure of meeting the fine people responsible for all these acts, I will stick my foot so far up their ass, you'll see it coming out of their mouth! Have a wonderful day! :o)

20 ramblings of your own:

Mighty M said...

Haha! That was a great post then, and it is still one now when I get to read it! ;-) Way to give them your regards!!

Shorty said...

Yep, you are a talented writer! I love your entertaining perspective on all things...especially those requiring tons of sarcasm such as this topic. Your poor sis! I can't stand thieves. I relish in the hope that one day they "will get their's" even if I am not able to witness it. And hopefully they will get "it" tenfold!

Tooj said...

Felt like it just happened yesterday! There was no dating to that post...and it really sounds like you think their work is great. You really showed your appreciation.

Housewife Savant said...

Is car theft/vandalism the norm in Hawaii?
More importantly; is car theft gratitude the norm??
Wow. So polite on the island. =)
You're happy cuz you're in paradise, car stereo or no.
I imagine telemarketers LOVE calling you.
Funny post.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Those effers broke into my car when my kids were swimming at China Walls. Nothing in the car, but the window replacement cost $400.

I am so impressed by how early you started blogging.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Recylcing blog posts, especially ones as great as this, is always a good idea. Why should something so funny only get one day of airtime?

I say, bring on more posts from the archive. Maybe even give yourself a little break from writing new posts for a few days. :)


Me said...

Thanks for pulling that one out of the archives! It was good!

I loathe criminals!

Martha said...

Scumbag car thieves.

Sticky (not too) said...

Great post. You started this so long ago! No wonder you are so good at it...

Hey, recycling is good for the enviornment!

Wolf said...

great post!

i can't believe you've been blogging that long! i started way back when and gave it up when some people attacked me. i decided to start again and am glad i did...just had to be a little more anonymous this time...

Aunt of 14 said...

OOOOOH! That is a great letter!!! :)

Stereos and Souffles said...

How awful for her, people suck.
Post was great!

Krissy said...

Dear Rambler,

We're sorry for stealing your sister's and cousin's cars. You see, we were on a batu binge that night and didn't have anything better to do. To be honest, we did sell your sister's stereo and paddle to buy more drugs and felt that while we're at it, we'll just take her registration for the hell of it. I'm not sure, but we may have made copies in order to try to change stuff to pass it off as our own. Gee, I hope everything was current. As for your cousin's car, that was our younger brother who we told to steal her car so that he could be, "one of us." The cigarettes were a result of his and his nerdy friend's nervousness over the fact that they might get caught and then kicked off the honor roll. So anyways, sorry again and let us know where you park your car and we'll be happy to put aside another batu day in order to make your life shitty.

Love you long time,

The Carjackers =)

Christina said...

Mental note: Never piss of the Rambler or you'll be tasting her soles! (HaHa... soles... shoes. Get it? I just amuse myself!

Funny post!

MammaDucky said...

I'm HERE!!!!! Wow, I could use your letter writing skills on a few different fronts. Feel like writing one to my inlaws for this whole wedding deal?!

Kathy B! said...

This was hilarious :) I am glad you recycled it and think you should do more of this. I rarely go thru the archives and this was worth the read!!

Fiauna said...

I so hope they don't head up my direction!

Life, Love And Lola said...

Love this! Great post! We SOOO have to meet when I get to your Island!

Crazee Juls said...

Criminals suck-Boo!! :)
Thanks for coming by Ask Crazee Juls & sharing in the fun! You totally, totally rock!

Happy times await you...(in the powder room)

Saskia said...

I'm glad you reposted this as I may never have read it otherwise! You're too funny!

Saskia x