Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Me and Honesty...having a moment.

I know why I've been the way I've been in bloggy land.

You know. Absent. Lame to zero posts.

I'm going to spill it.

So bear with me. Make sure you take a shot of your favorite liquid before you continue reading.

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Did you get it yet?

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Ready?

Remember a couple posts back I asked you to pray for some strength for me and a pal?

I met with a friend after work one night and we had the "heavy" talk. Which resulted in my pal asking me to help him call his parents (who I don't know)and break the ice for them that he was an alcoholic and he didn't know how to ask them for help.

And if I didn't do it, I'm not sure he would have found the strength and courage to make that first step.

Of course I did.

Because as a mother, I can only hope someone will reach out to my child if she needed help and would have the" no doubt about it lets call and do this together" thing.

Making THAT call was the absolute hardest thing I've done.

I introduced myself to his mother via cell phone (me in Hawaii, her somewhere in the Midwest), I explained the nature of my call, we cried, (mental note: be strong), I listened, she listened, she planned, , we exchanged any and all numbers.

When we hung up. I cried and cried and cried.

I looked at my child and cried more.

When I got a message from his father hours later telling me I did a good thing and he was glad I made the call for them.....I cried more.

I was mentally exhausted. My mind raced and raced and wondered how the following days would transpire. I don't understand why I cried as much as I did. But when you hear the pain in another mothers voice for her love, worry and concern for her child, it's hard not too.

It's been going. Not exactly the way his mother or I would like, but I hope hope hope he continues on the path he started on and stays.

To top the cake of my mental state my husband and I hadn't been getting along. It was wearing on me. I questioned a lot, I yearned for things from him that I couldn't get through our wall we had been slowly building.

Not to be left out, work has been adding it's two cents toward my senility.

Again, I've been not myself.

BUT.

Things works itself out. Or at least you see the light and make the trek toward it with faith and determination.

My friend has been doing okay. He's gotten support from people he hadn't expected. He realized he needs therapy because he is depressed and overwhelmed with 'growing up' and making the adults in his life happy.

My husband and I, after a very nasty email sent by myself, chiseled a bit of the wall and we have been moving forward instead of me standing in his crap.

Work...well....it's work.

Small steps.

I'm climbing out of the trenches and back in the blog saddle.

So THANK YOU all that read me when I'm funny, when I'm not, and all that in between.

And to my BFF. Thank you for just always (times infinity) listening. I heart you always.





34 ramblings of your own:

debilyn said...

Your friend is so very lucky to have someone like you in his life. I'm positive that his parents will be forever grateful for what you did.

Sorry things have been so rough lately...but I'm sure everyone who reads your blog will agree that we're thrilled to hear from you no matter what the mood!

♥hugs♥

ClaireMontgomeryMD said...

i admire someone (like you) who can be funny AND real. it makes the world go round. you may have saved a life (or many) with that call. doing the right thing isn't always easy. you are my hero of the day. positive thoughts coming your way!

hotpants™ said...

You're a great friend.

Shorty said...

You are strong, so strong in fact to help a friend in such need. Let the tears flow when they need to which is the healthiest thing you can do. And, if I can offer one bit of advice from being on the struggling marriage side of life... don't try to do it on your own. Seek counseling instead of trying to do it by yourselves. An objective third party, who's unemotionally attached to you both, can offer a world of knowledge you & your husband can benefit from. Sometimes it just takes learning to communicate differently, but in the end it can make the difference between seeing your spouse with loving eyes or contemptuous ones.

And, don't forget about YOU during all of this. Take time out for pedicures, or girl time, or whatever makes you feel a bit of relief and pleasure in this burdened world of ours. Don't let the guilt take over either. Just do things for yourself from time to time so you can also focus on all of the other people who need you too.

I wish you only & all the best, my friend.

andy said...

this is why we're here lovey!!!

spill.

you shouldn't feel the pressure to be "on the ball" every time you write...just write:)

your heart will receive when you give...you did a good thing.

andy

Martha said...

I <3 U, Rambler.
You are a Mensch. (Yiddish word meaning someone who does good deeds pleasing to God.)

Stereos and Souffles said...

Stay strong!

Fiauna said...

You did a very admirable thing there, young lady. You should be so proud of yourself.

(((hugs)))

Mighty M said...

Nice working helping a friend in need - not sure if I would be so brave. We all go through rough patches, and we will stick with you through it all! ;-)

pan x 8 said...

Thank you for being such a great friend. There is hope out there that we can have and our children can have friends that love them so much to care that much!

I remember growing up, I had an aunt that played as a good friend but ended up burning me and leaving me to hang out to dry... thus, close close friends are hard to come by in my world and depend a lot on my sisters!

I love sisters!

Proud to be Me-a wife, a mom, a student said...

I am somewhat speechless in the presence of your strength. You truly are a hero, you're super mom, super friend, and super wife oh and not to leave your work out..super employee :). If I was crafty I would make you 4 capes :)

We in bloggyland and in your real life are lucky and blessed to know you and call you friend.

Heart you always!! XOXOXOXO

Mesa

mo.stoneskin said...

Tough times. Feel for your friend, depression and helpless are often the root. Glad things are improving!

resplendentlife said...

Aaah, don't you feel better now that you let it all hang out?
Keep your head up, Rambler. Hills and valleys....hills and valleys....

Heather, aka Jake's Mommy said...

Good work with the friend who needed your help. You're a great person. And, we're happy you're back on the blog pony or in the saddle or whatever! :-)

K said...

You definitely did a good thing.

That would exhaust anybody. Glad you're back in bloggy land.

Kathy B! said...

Life is hard and there is only so much of yourself to give. I'm glad that you have chosen to give in the areas of most importance: to your marriage and people crying out for help. You are an inspiration.

Bee and Rose said...

You are a true friend! What a wonderful thing you did!

I completely get the whole blog funk...it's in the air, trust me:) But like you, I am focusing on the light and pulling myself up too! Take my hand, friend and we will walk through this together!

Rachel said...

You are doing an amazing thing for your friend. I hope everything works out!

Lyndsay said...

What a load. I've been in a similar position and it's hard, hard, hard. Be careful though, you can be a support, but you can't carry the burden or responsibility for fixing his problem. I learned that too late.

Hugs. Chin up. The marriage stuff is hard work, believe me I know.

Email me if you ever wanna chat.

Screamin' Mama said...

So glad that you were able to help your friend and be there when he needed someone. It's hard to hold someone's hand and not get immersed in their pain. He's lucky to have you!

The Blonde Duck said...

That's a hard road. Kudos to you for helping.

MommyAmy said...

Oh man... life is so not easy. It often requires work, lots of work. Sometimes I read other people's blogs and I can't help but think, "Are they serious? Is this what their life is REALLY like? I don't believe it..." But you're very real and honest, and that's why I keep coming back. :)

Keep your chin up. These things tend to go in cycles, just like the seasons, you'll come back around to a happy season sometime soon. It'll happen!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Wow. The honesty and straight forwardness of this post is dead on. Your a strong a good person Rambler.

Michelle said...

Wow. I complain about being busy, but it isn't heavy weigh you down and crush you and consume you busy like this. Kudos to you for making that call. And here's hoping both you, your husband, and your friend have happier days in store. Soon.

Shawn said...

Sometimes when we are feeling inadequate, the best thing to do is give of ourselves to others---and you did that, admirably!

Huzzah! You go, girl.

Sticky (not too) said...

You are a wonderful friend...

Love you - funny or serious, you rock!

OliveStreetStudio said...

I read this yeaterday and then thought about it. Not the part about the friend, which I applaud you on, but on the husband. I've been in a somewhat similar situation - and mine is a combo of your friend and walls - my husband has a drinking problem and we're working through it, but it is so hard on the marriage. I hope you and hubby continue to make progress or at least find resolve and answers....thanks for sharing the post.

MammaDucky said...

I hope your Memorial Day weekend break gives you the mental and physical vacation you need. Don't forget, you ROCK sista!

Sherendipity said...

You're a wonderful friend. Good on you for that.
I hope it all works out and continues to get better.
I'll be thinking of you.

Muppet Soul said...

You are SUCH a good friend. It's amazing that you did that.

And secondly, bitch please ( do you like the inappropriateness?). Be funny, be unfunny, I am riveted.

Hope you and the hubs are working shit out... You could always snatch that adorable child of yours and run away to L.A.

Still inappropriate.

But I adore you.

So Not Mom-a-licious said...

I am crying also. That is something that I can't imagine having to do, but I also can't imagine having done for me! It is very rare that when you reach out for help there is actually someone there to help. You can't even begin to imagine how much you may have saved you friend. And maybe others. God Bless you Rambler. Now I love you more today then I did yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow! =)

Controlling My Chaos said...

I get that. I'm glad you've been able to work on some of the things you need to do. Blogging will always be there when you are in the right state of mind. That's something I've recently realized (and it's evident in my sometimes sporadic posting).

Becky said...

That was a really nice thing you did for your friend--- he was very fortunate to have you!

I'm glad things are getting better with your hubby and hope you're able to be happy sooner rather than later.

Tooj said...

I think you did a very beautiful thing as his friend. DOING action instead of talking about it is a hard but GOOD thing. Always remember that. And not getting along with the husband is a come and go affair...as long as you chisel the wall instead of stacking the blocks, you're on your game. :)