Thursday, December 10, 2009

I must remember....I am 34 and he is...3. (and other tidbits)


It's been about a month since my three year old has been in preschool.

It's been great.

I decided to go on my three year old's first field trip to a Children's Discovery Center. (Awesomely Awesome by the way).

I was paired with my kid and her little boyfriend. BLESS his heart. If every little boy could be like him....I know she'll marry a good man. Oh and I only 'lost' him 3 times. Don't tell.

(I also praise any adult that actually WANTS to take 75 children OUT of the preschool. Between the ages 2-4. I seriously bow my head down.)

BUT, (and there is always a but), I met HIM.

The absolute complete opposite of my daughter's adorable future husband. The one that MY husband fears my daughter will choose cause he's the bad ass. The rebel. The one us girls can't stay away from.

The KID that just screams at your insides and scratches his nails on your inner chalkboard of a soul.

That is mean...just to be mean.

Your 3?

How in the hell can you be such a little sh&t?

I mean poopyhead?

I mean...not nice.

(as I recited to my little one when she complained why was he mean to her)

I sorta noticed this little hellion her second week but thought nothing of it.

But after spending two hours with Satan's spawn, I had to keep reminding myself....I am 34 and he is 3. They are children. They will 'work' it out.

It became my mantra that day at the Children's Discovery Center.

Kids were everywhere, learning, sharing, not sharing, listening, not listening....and I silently thanked the blessed teachers who were probably praying for a flask of alcohol to get them through the day.

I kid.

Only cause we love Teacher Amazing & Teacher Awesome.


**************

I kept swatting at my legs this morning while waiting for my husband to let me back into the house after uh, locking myself out while walking the dog.

I looked down cause the 'flies' kept annoying me.

Oh.

I need to shave my legs.

Whoa...I REALLY need to shave my legs.

And my eyebrows if my BFF has anything to add to that. (right BFF?)


*************

Saskia over at Saskia's Spot takes the most amazing photos and she is absoTUTELY fantastic.

Thanks for the little holiday cheer that came my way!!

Go check her out! Tell her hello!

Anyone so refined and lovely that enjoys my antics has to be awesome :)

*************

My job never gets boring.

While leaving work the other night, around nightclub time, a co-worker and I watched, (and giggle-smirked), a girl pull up to the elevator thinking someone was going to valet her car, then get back in when the security guard was walking by saying she needed to PARK her car herself.

And THEN watched her slooowwwwlllly pull into....

.....a parked car, and not the empty spot next to it.

The poor security guard told her to back up...but halt heart attacked while I shrieked and ran like a frantic not so graceful paranoid person realizing my car was in her back up path of destruction ..

"Whoa...let me move my car, before crazy drunk chic backs up real slooowwwlllly into it".

So the guard put/sacrificed his body by positioning himself between my car and hers to let me save my chariot from sure stupidity of drunk girl driving.

All while her semi drunk friends all slurred to her...

"BUMMERRRRRRRR"

Who lets these people drive?

****************

I'm sorry I haven't been around. I always get stressed out around this time.

I wrote about it last year so I'll just link you there. It's not my normal funny so don't go without tissue.

**************

Happy Holidays Bloggy Peeps.

Happy Holidays!



31 ramblings of your own:

Fiauna said...

So funny. Satan's spawn. I'm laughing only because I didn't have to spend the day with him. Bless your heart.

Kalei said...

Originally I though you were making a joke with the title about Mr. Rambler....than I realized it was the Jacka$$ lil devil that exists everywhere. Maybe someone can slip the application for supernanny in his backpack to take home to his mommy and/or daddy who surely must know they have a devil spawn.....

MammaDucky said...

We have one of those in the girls' class. I get a daily report from them about how bad he was.
At the Thanksgiving play, his Mom sat with her head in her hands and kept repeating, "I don't know what to do with him." It was a "glad that's not MY kid," moment...until mine spilled red punch all over the white linen tablecloth...quality.

Mighty M said...

You are one brave lady. I always think I am going to be "that" mom who never wants to volunteer for anything.

But I know I will do it for my kids. And NOT for the spawn on the devil. There is always at least one, right?

Thinking of you lots, I hope you remember all the great times you had with your dad on the 14th, and every day.

:)

The Chrysanthemum said...

I know, I've missed your blogs! :) Again, you never disapoint me!

Penz said...

No Worries! I still love ya!!!

hiphophippie.com said...

I'd probably end up in jail if I had to spend a day with a kid like that!! You are amazing for volunteering! I hope Santa recognizes this! :) Happy Ho Ho HO!

Shawn said...

ohhhh---since I am in a band----I always have to deal with overly soused people, and I am terrified that I will "run" into one of them on the way home----its scary....

Maki said...

I am a in class mom too, and oh boy, I learn so much from the teacher and the kids. Priceless, eh?

Don't stress out too much - at least you're there in the island. I miss you - cuz I've been watchng the waves on tv and online. Make ms homesick:(

Love ya!
xoxo

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

Wow your daughter's preschool is HUGE if it's 75 kids. Our just has two classes of 20. You are some kind of woman to be willing to help-out on a field trip with that many kids. I think I would have lost my mind. Good for you!

Nancy Campbell said...

Missed your writing. Here's hoping your little girl goes for the nice guy, not Evil Incarnate.

Ron said...

Hahahha, I smiled and loughed the whole time while reading this. Thank you for that!

T said...

Thank you for the early morning chuckle!

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

Unknown Mami said...

I'm really impressed that you went on the field trip.

blueviolet said...

I think we all date one of those soul slashers at one point, but most of us don't marry one. MOST of us.

Bless you for chaperoning children en masse. Bless you.

Saskia said...

haha, I can't believe you called me AWESOME!!!! What a compliment!!! Or is that complement? Gah I need to brush up on my grammar & spelling! Thank you so much for the shout out and for making me laugh A LOT - satan's spawn sounds like a few children I've had the misfortune of knowing!! Tis the stuff of nightmares!!

xx

Mammatalk said...

Preschool field trip? Sounds absolutely terrifying! Count me out.

Miss Dot said...

Blah. I'm glad to hear someone else is having a slightly stressful time. I've got more than enough on my plate right now!

Your preschool trip story was hilarious. Oh, and the thing about shaving your legs. Um, I kind of need to, too. Shave MY legs, that is. Um, and my eyebrows. Not shave them, though. I pluck those.

Gah.

Martha said...

This field trip with Satan's spawn sounds like a three tequila shooter experience.
Totally understand about feeling Overwhelmed, Big ((Hugs)) and soooo Thankful you saved your ride from the next bondee for Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Crystal Escobar said...

Your blog is halarious!!! I really enjoyed reading this post, lol.
Hey thank you for the comment on my grandpa's video. Glad you liked it :)

Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

Very impressed with the field trip...thanks for the laugh!

Brittany said...

I am still cracking up over bad-driver-drunk-girl.

It is a bummerrrrrr! :)

Synergy Girl said...

Awww man...there is NOTHING worse than someone ELSE'S horrid kid....in my mind...ugh...

Shell said...

I'm cracking up at the 3 year old devil child. OMG, people probably think that about my 3 year old son. He's sweet, but he definitely has some devil in him. All my kdis do...I figure it is payback for when I was a teacher and thought that some of my students were brats(did I say that? I loved all my students...but some of them were easier to love than others!)

Stopping in from SITS.

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

Love your ramblings today... especially on the "I'm 3" stuff... sigh. I'm already fearing for my daughter's future love life :)

And my legs are the least of my problems... We're going to an indoor water park next weekend, and I need to shave PERIOD!

~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com

The Blonde Duck said...

I hope you're having a good pre-Christmas!

Yaya said...

I was a teacher and then I've been a nanny for 10 years....trust me, there are such a thing as "bad" kids....

OliveStreetStudio said...

too funny! All I hear from Ryan about her preschool is BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY....how he doesn't clean up, doesn't listen, talks loud...i know he is coming home wth her one day. *sigh*

sanjeet said...

don't know what to do with him." It was a "glad that's not MY kid," moment...until mine spilled red punch all over the white linen tablecloth...quality.
Work from home India

Tooj said...

Doesn't that security guard have some sort of legal obligation to call her in to the cops so they can get her before she gets back behind the wheel?

Megan said...

OMGosh! What a little butthead! LOL

And seriously, Who DOES let those drunk chicks drive? So glad your car was spared!! ;0)